


Tightrope

by Mafruna



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate History, Alternate Universe - College/University, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, I am Supercorp Trash, Long, Romance, Secret Relationship, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2019-12-06 20:21:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 35
Words: 59,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18224975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mafruna/pseuds/Mafruna
Summary: In this AU, Kara is a student in a big university. Her goals are set and she is ready to work to reach them. She just wasn't expecting to fall in love. Let alone with Lena, a teacher. This is the story of the beginning and blossoming of their love affair.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey you guys, I'm Bruna and I'm from Portugal. This is my first fanfiction and I'm quite nervous to post it.  
> I would really apreciate feedback if you are willing to give it and if you spot any mistakes and writing errors please let me know. As I mentioned, I'm from Portugal and english is not my main language.
> 
> The first chapters don't include Lena. They are more of little hints to Kara's backstory. However, Lena will appear soon enough.
> 
> Thank you so much!  
> I hope you enjoy this story :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I know some of you might find the number of chapters intimidating, but they are pretty small. Check the word count if you are in doubt ;)
> 
> Happy readings!

“Kara, hold on! Wait for me!!”

Kara could hear her sister’s steps as she ran after her. The wind of the countryside was brushing against the little one’s face making her hair dance as she ran with a smile on her lips.

“Hahaha, you’ll never catch me, sis!” Kara sprinted even faster.

Alex always struggled to keep up with her sister when they were playing outside, but she never gave up. She had grown used to being in second in the races and muscle competitions she had with her new sister but, even though at the beginning it was very hard for her, eventually she found the beauty in having a sister and the spark that made Kara so special.

Now they are the best of friends and can’t quite be well without each other. Their bond is only growing stronger.

“Holy smokes Kara, you are getting faster every day!” Alex panted her words, trying to steady her breathing. They both fell to the grass covered ground.

“Oh well, you aren’t so bad yourself. You almost caught me when we passed those trees” Kara was smiling and had an eye closed because of the brightness the sun was inflicting on her.

“Ahah I wish!” The big sister gave a little pound on the littlest one.

Both girls let themselves fall and lay completely on the floor, both feeling the grass on their hands. They were so different. Kara had blonde locks of hair and the bluest of eyes. Alex had brown hair that shined like copper and earthy and honey-like eyes. They were both tall but Kara, being younger about 3 years, managed to be taller than Alex. They both loved sports, being athletic and dancing and singing with their hairbrushes in hand. They had the most fun together. But then again, there weren’t really that many people around them anyway. Their house was so far away from the school that the only time they really had with other kids their age was during school. 6 to 7 hours a day, five days a week. It seemed more than it was, but they didn’t mind.

Before Kara was adopted, Alex was very introverted and didn’t really get out of the house much. She liked staying in reading a book or a superhero comic and playing music. She was beginning to feel the isolation beginning to be a weight on her. She was very shy also but had a great relationship with her parents. It was so great that during the first year, she had a tough time accepting her sister and sharing her parents. Before it was all Alex. All focus was on her and she liked that from her parents. But suddenly, this new girl shows up like sunshine in the morning, inevitable and disturbing for those who were peaceful sleeping, but ultimately, the greatest thing to happen.

“Kara, can I ask you a question?” Alex had her eyes closed. She was letting her senses go wild and free. The texture of the grass below her, the sound of the slight breeze, the chirping of the birds, the songs of the flowers.

Kara, her eyes also closed, reached her hand to touch her sister and said: “Of course, anything.”

“It’s almost the second birthday since you came to be with us here. How was it?” She felt a little nervous.

“How was what?”

“You know, dealing with all of this, I mean, it must have been all pretty new and scary for you.”

Kara was listening with attention.

“What did you think of us when you first arrived?” Alex was now looking over to her side to see her sister. She was so curious to know this; she has always been.

“Oh, well...” She pondered for a little bit longer “I mean, it wasn’t easy at the beginning you know. One day I was with my birth mom and dad, the other I was with you guys. I guess I managed. I just had to.”

“Yes, but can you tell me more? Why did you come to us in the first place? What happened to your mom and dad?” Alex could feel her hands shake at that question. They never talked about it. Alex didn’t yet know why Kara was up for adoption or what had happened in the past.

She knew Kara’s original last name was Zor-El, which to her sounded a little weird. Her last name was Danvers, which she thought was as normal as it could be, just not as normal as Smith. And she knew she had been a happy baby and child because that brightness was still with her from moment one. But that was about it, and she wanted to know more.

“Hum, my parents died in an accident.” Kara didn’t like remembering this story too often. It was tough. But she really liked her sister Alex, so she wanted to tell her. It was okay. “We were in a car crash and I survived.”

“Oh Kara, I’m really sorry!” She gulped “You don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want” Worry filled her, and she reached to grab her sisters’ hand in hers.

“It’s okay Alex, I don’t mind” She squeezed her older sister’s hand. “I am only alive because my parents somehow managed to save me. They did their best. Unfortunately, they didn’t make it but, you know, I’m grateful that even in hard times they did their best to save me.” She was now looking at the bright skies above them. “I like to believe they are, like, somewhere out there looking after me. In a star or in another planet, but, you know, there.”

“Yeah, I understand.” Alex was short on words. How could she respond to anything like that? At this moment, all she felt was pure admiration for her sister. “You’re so strong Kara. When I grow up, I wanna be as strong as you!” They both chuckled at that.

“I’m only like this and I only dealt so well with this because you guys are fantastic! It’s not the same thing but it’s pretty good and I couldn’t have asked for a better family to be a part of than you guys” Kara couldn’t help but smile. It still hurt. Sometimes she still cried at night and had some nightmares of the accident, but she was determined to be good and strong. Her mother had taught her that one must never give up and never ever deny the kindness of other, neither deny others of her own kindness, so she was grateful and happy, in a way, to even have a family in the first place.

“Awww, I know. We are pretty great ahahah” Alex was trying to lighten up the mood a bit more.

“Hey hey hey, you weren’t the most welcoming, I don’t know if you remember correctly” Kara pushed her sister playfully. “You were a bit of a buttface to me”

Alex was seemingly outraged. It was true and she knew it, but it was fun to play with Kara like this. “Nah-uhh. Not at all!” She pushed her back.

Kara got up, her hands on her hips in her favourite pose, like a superhero, and said: “Well I guess we will just have to ask Eliza and Jeremiah, I bet they have all the stories on how you were such a buttface” And as she said that she started running back to the house to indeed ask her adoptive parents about this to prove her point.

Alex got up really fast and started running after her sister. “NO KARA DON’T YOU DARE!!! I’m gonna catch you, just wait!!” She was smiling. She could tell life was going to be great if she had Kara always by her side.


	2. Chapter 2

It was 7:23 a.m. and the snooze button on Kara’s phone had been pressed already four times. This time she really had to get up and start preparing herself for school.

“Karaaaaa!” A woman’s soft and warm voice made its way to Kara’s ears. “Come on! You’re gonna be late for school!” Alex had left her bed a few minutes ago as well.

The youngest girl yawned and stretched her body as much and for as long as she possibly could. “Alright, I’m coming!” She sat on her bed and blew a thin string of hair that had fallen on her nose.

On the way to her bathroom, right in front of her bedroom, Alex stumbled on one of her sister’s shoes. “Kara! Oh my god, I told you to put this back where it belongs last night!” Kara could not hide her smile and let out a soft laugh as she greeted her sister good morning.

The house smelled like freshly baked cookies and toast and both girls were eager to eat breakfast.

“Oh, Eliza,” said Kara taking in a deep breath appreciating such a home sweet home smell. “Smells so good! Can I please skip school today and eat all these cookies?” Eliza kissed Kara’s head and told her, of course, that she couldn’t.

“Ooh that’s a really good idea, I’m in!”

“No way girls” Eliza gave Alex a little kiss on the cheek. “You guys are young and wild. Go to school. Have fun. Learn!” Alex’s lower lip was sticking out and Kara’s mouth was completely full of food. “You can eat more cookies later. Kara, save some for everyone else, will you dear?”

“Yes Eliza” She obeyed cheerfully, putting some of the cookies she had in her hand back on the plate.

After breakfast, they were off to school.

\---------------------

The bell rings.

Valentine’s day was just a few days away and Alex was again, completely buzzed out by it.

She could never really find it appealing. The whole idea of it. Why on earth would you waste a day on running for flowers and chocolate or teddy bears that are expensive, or even writing sappy little red cards with ‘I love you’s in it? Highschool relationships never last. No one was interesting enough to make her change her mind and she simply could not see the science behind all this festive crap.

“Ugh, it’s that time again” Alex’s charming comment was very familiar to her friends.

“Why do you hate valentine’s day again?” Winn was intrigued. He loved Valentine’s day.

Alex put all her things in her locker and closed it with a bang, making the slightly shorter boy tremble.

“It’s just weird to me. Why do people put themselves under all this stress? I mean, if they have partners, they are partners every day. Why pick just one day to bundle all of the stress in?”

“Because it’s symbolic, duuh. It’s a day to celebrate love! It’s just a sort of a symbol” Winn tried to explain as they walked down the corridor.

“Well, I think it’s stupid”.

“Alright, fine, but amuse me for a second, okay?” He bit into the gummy warm he had in his hand. “If you had to ask someone out, from this school, who would it be?”

Did he really just ask me that?

“Winn, come on, stop being such a child” Alex did not like anything love related. She just couldn’t identify or relate with any of it. She seriously couldn’t get it.

“Ah don’t be so rude. Yo’ boy Winn the winner just wants to knowww”

“Winn the Winner? Seriously?”

“Listen. It stays in the ear okay?” He offered her some candy. She accepted.

“Yeah, absolutely not.” She bit into it. “But what about you, Mr lovebird?”

“What about me?” He was clueless at this point. In his head, he could only picture himself dressed as Superman with crowds shouting WINN THE WINNER repeatedly.

“Are you going to lay your charms on anyone this year?” She was doing her best to turn the spotlight on him. She knew who he had the butterflies for. She was simply teasing him.

Hearing her friend’s question, he snapped out of his self-loving state back to reality and looked ahead.

Suddenly the butterflies began to fly as he laid his eyes on the girl that made him want to buy all the teddy bears and chocolate and flowers in the world.

Kara.

He choked on the candy he had in his mouth as Kara approached.

“Hey, sister!! Hi Winn!” Kara’s smile was as bright as it always was. “Oh lord, Winn are you okay? You are as read as a strawberry!” Alex kept hitting his back with her hand while looking at her sister with an amusing smile on her face.

“Oh, he’s okay. I think he swallowed one of these darn candies whole”

Both girls laughed as Winn pulled himself together.

“Anyways, although I love being the mickey to you guys, this stomach is hungry, and this candy isn’t going to cut it for me.” He gave each of her friends his arms “Let’s go ladies?”

“Yes, please! I’m starving!!!” Kara growled as one of her hand grabbed Winn’s arm and the other was placed on her belly.

“Ahahahah, and when are you not??” Alex and Winn said at the same time.

They all knew each other really well. They were best friends for almost 3 years now.

Winn was Kara’s age and met the girls during Kara’s 6th grade. And they were both a little outcasted, so they formed a big friendship there and because Alex was always with her sister during recess, they ended up bonding too. Alex and Winn sometimes battled head to head, while Kara was usually the mediator and the calm one but nevertheless, they were all superfriends.

Kara knew that Winn had a thing for her. She couldn’t lie and say he was exactly irrelevant for her anyway. She wanted to see what her feelings were, but she was also too scared to hurt him if it turned out she didn’t like him back.

Even so, she said yes when he asked her out a couple of days later, ignoring her sister’s teasing, and tried to see.

“Winn, I have to tell you that I do have some feelings for you… I just… I’m not quite sure what they are or what they mean…” Kara was reluctant. She really didn’t want to hurt him or ruin the friendship and make it weird.

Winn couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. He knew he liked her. He felt as if he could go as far as saying he loved her. But he was a good boy and was determined to not make her feel bad or weirded out about all of this.

“Kara, I understand. We can try. I like you. A lot. And because of that, I don’t want you to feel bad or pressured. Let’s try it. See how it is for you.”

Oh man, Kara really liked him. He was such a sweet boy. So smart. Different from all the other competitive boys of her school. She really appreciated his love for technologies and devotion to Dungeons and Dragons as well as for Comic books, which was something they all shared. Winn was Kara’s best guy friend. She knew she could count on him for everything, just as he could count on her or her sister.

All these feelings made her feel warm inside.

I like him. I can only like him. I don’t feel like this about any other boy… But my sister makes me feel this way too, but she’s my sister. I love her. So, I love him too

“Alright. I’m ready! Let’s do this” Kara wanted to see. She needed to see.

And with that, Winn pulled her closer to him and drew his face closer and closer to hers aiming for her lips.

He was nervous. She was too. Neither one of them had ever kissed anyone like this. Ever.

So, they kissed.

Winn was warm and she could sense his nervousness. He was starting to sweat, and his hands and lips were trembling.

She felt nothing like that.


	3. Chapter 3

“MINE!”

Kara got in position, bent her knees and jumped, hitting the ball so hard and downward that the other team had no chance on ever defending it. The white ball hit right next to the left corner of the other team’s field.

The score sheet read 12|04. The Eagle’s team, Kara’s, was winning the match.

Kara, young and athletic, now 16, was the captain of the volleyball team and had planned to win this match without much effort. She knew the other team’s strategy and play-game. She had played many times against them.

The bip went off and it was time to switch teammates. Kara stayed to play. Her position was one of the most important. She had arms like no other teammate had and discipline so clean and correct one might have mistaken her for a professional.

She had her focus on the ball, not caring about anything else. She knew her best friend Winn was there cheering her on with her sister. Alex was going to another school now and Kara still had another year left in the one she was now. Not having Alex present all the time was a huge step for her. Her sister was her safe space and favorite companion after all. But nevertheless, Alex never missed any game, celebration or party if it had her sister in it. And neither did Winn. Well, not on purpose anyway.

Winn still loved Kara. He had an impression that Kara was one of those people you never really stop loving. You could have all the partners you wanted but Kara would still be… Kara. And to him, she was exactly that. Kara. His best friend. His first partner. His first kiss. His first-second base. His first love. True love. But he coped with that very well. After their little 6 month of a dating experience, they both agreed that it just wasn’t right and that they would be better off as friends, which showed to be true.

Jeremiah and Eliza were there as well, cheering for Kara and holding snacks for later, after the game, as they knew she would sprint out of the changing room as soon as she was showered and freshened to eat.

All was good.

And Kara was ready to serve, so she did, perfectly.

It wasn’t only until the near end of that match that she noticed her adversary. She didn’t recognize the new girl that had stepped in place of the former number 5, so she must have been new.

The girl played with as much fierce as four-eyed Kara, just not as much strength and power – but then again, who did? – and had something about her that caught Kara’s attention.

She had beautiful brown eyes and a hair so thin and delicate that it seemed like the air was water and she was floating in it. She had a certain glow that Kara couldn’t really understand or pinpoint.

Who is she? I have never seen her.

And that simple distraction was enough for Kara to miss the ball coming directly at her.

“Oh my god!!!” A team member screamed “Kara are you okay?”

Kara’s face was red with the heat rushing to her wounded area. She had fallen flat on her butt and struggled to get up alone.

“Danvers!” She heard her coach “Can you continue?” Now up, hearing her coach, she shook her shoulders and took her hand to her face. She was bleeding from her nose.

A white tissue was handed to her and she took it without really thinking about it.

“Here. I’m sorry it hit you.” The voice was sweet but slightly raspy. Perhaps by exhaustion, perhaps by nicotine.

Kara looked at the girl looking at her with a smirk on.

“Th – thanks.” She felt her cheeks fire and this time it wasn’t from the impact of the ball. “It was my fault, I got distracted.”

“Yeah, I noticed” The girl turned to walk to her spot but not before leaving Kara a wink. Carter. Number 9.

Who is she? Why does she make Kara blush?

“Kara are you okay? Can you play?” Her teammates were worried. They were winning but Kara was essential. The coach was walking to them with ice in one hand and a bottle of water in the other.

“Danvers, how is it going to be? Can you continue?” He handed her the water.

Kara hadn’t stopped looking at the number 9. This was an encounter she would have to take home and think about.

“Yes. Yes, I can. Let’s play” She wiped her nose. Drank half of the bottle of water and licked her lips. “Let’s win this!” And so, they did.

Kara could have never imagined how her story would be written after that first encounter. It also wouldn’t be one she would like to remember. Her story with Carter was brief and, just like her story with Winn, it marked her in a way she would eventually be grateful for.

On that day Kara didn’t think about the girl too much. She figured she was intimidated by this girl’s abilities and yes, looks. Later she would realize what it had been. Just like it had been 3 years before when a hug from her friend left her overly joyed. Or a year ago when Britney Spears made her dance and move like no other. Toxic. This feeling was toxic to bright, innocent Kara. It was rather unsettling, so she never really gave much thought to it. Just like she didn’t give much thought to her feelings for certain boys. Big friends. Maybe more, maybe less. She didn’t know. She had one goal now. Graduate Highschool and go to College.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey friends!  
> These first few chapters are mostly turned to Kara and her story and some of her experiences. Lena will start appearing soon so be patient!  
> I plan to, further ahead, explain those chapters and stories so it will all make sence. Each chapter has its importance, as I see it, and they will all help make this a coherent story.  
> Hope you stay tunned to see that :)

The leaves were changing color. Kara couldn’t stop looking at them. From summer’s bright green shades would eventually be born the hot reds and oranges and eventually yellows. Also, eventually they would fall, dead in their tracks, giving nature a slight kiss as she, itself, struggled to stay warm.

Everyone around Kara hugged their family goodbyes and greeted their new and stranger peers with shy hellos and formal questions. “Which way is your dorm?” she could hear. “Hi, my name is…”

She saw her sister coming towards her from the tall, orange building in front on her but still, her feet were stone. This year was going to be different. She had made it. She aced almost every class she had in Highschool. It was hard, but she managed to still be able to get good grades. Her best friends would still be with her as they all stayed in the same university, but even better, her sister would be there also.

Kara’s university was one of the most completed ones in terms of classes and courses so she was able to stay in the same one as Winn, that was going to study Informatics and Mechanic Engineering, and as Alex that was going to become a doctor, a surgeon, so she was attending her third year in Medicine. Kara was going to be taking Human Relations and Journalism.

Staring at those leaves and at that establishment, she could almost see how the next 5 years of her life would play out. Or so she thought.

“Dreaming awake or is all of that just nerves?” Alex carried a smile as she called her sister down to Earth. “Did you see me coming? What were you looking at?”

Kara returned the smile and hugged her sister. “Oh, nothing in particular. I was looking at the leaves” She adjusted her glasses as she usually did. “Maybe some nerves are flourishing, yes, but only just a little” She chuckled.

“Aww, Kara. You have nothing to worry about! It’s going to be great!” Her sister extended her hand in front of them so that the blonde could take it. “Come on, I’ll give you the tour. It seems bigger than it is.”

And so, they went. Hand in hand through the long halls giggling and talking eagerly about the east wing and west wing, bathrooms, and dormitories, classes and teachers.

“I hope you get good teachers. They really make the whole class.” Alex was just as excited as her sister to meet the new professors.

“Oh, I believe. It’s almost as if they have a direct link to your success in that class. If the teacher isn’t good or doesn’t really get along with you, it's half the way to a bad grade.” Kara knew this too well. Although she was usually everyone’s favorite student, every now and then there would be just that one teacher that couldn’t get along with her and made their mission make her path a little harder. She thought it to be the stupidest thing.

On the first day, there were no classes. This was a time to adjust. To see all the clubs at the university fair, to check the programme. To meet dorm-mates and room-mates. Obviously, Kara and Alex could find a way to share the same room, so it was all the easier for Kara to settle in.

“You’ll see, it’ll be almost like home.” Said Alex, helping Kara lay her clothing on the bed to put away. “But just almost”.

“Nothing like waking up to freshly baked eggs or cookies, right?”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.” Cleaning and tidying the room was easy, it took a really short time. Almost finishing up, a knock on the door was heard.

“Knock Knock ladies. Are you all decent?”

“Winn!” Kara ran to his arms and they hugged as if it had been years “Are you close to our room?”

“Yes! I’m right around the corner. I’m sharing it with some dude. He’s into comic books so it’s cool. He also has some cameras and photo albums” Winn hugged Alex as well.

“Sounds interesting”

“Yeah, but what worries me is the amount of exercise machinery he was able to fit in the room. If he begins to take over my space, we’re going to have a problem.” Winn the winner sounded confident.

Alex could not miss this opportunity to have some fun with Winn.

“I mean, you should thank him, really. It could be that by seeing the machinery every day you could start working out too. Buff those little potatoes of yours”

“Alright, okay, I did not come here to be body shamed.” He sounded resentful but he knew the tall brunette was joking. “And you only wish you had these guns” He was now flexing, showing both girls his obvious very trained and veiny biceps. Kara laughed and her sister mouthed an unconvinced ‘Yeah yeah’.

“Alright you guys, come on, enough of that. Winn, you look great. Alex is right though; you could do a little more exercise. Sitting at the computer all day is not the best for you” She closed the last drawer, finishing the tiding. “Now let’s go check out those stands outside. I want to see which clubs they have here,”

Kara passed by them, topping outside the door, seeing Alex and Winn play as they headed out as well. Alex walked and rubbed the boy’s head with her knuckles while holding him in a loose choke hold. She closed their dorm room’s door and off they went to the uncovering of this experience.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> I binge posted these first 5 chapters because I already had them typed down.  
> I hope you're liking it so far.  
> I'm really glad you're reading.
> 
> Be sure to give me some feedback (if you want, of course), I would really apreciate it.
> 
> Many kisses from Portugal

Kara had her eyes on various stalls. She wanted to fulfil her time as much as she could. She wanted to do some sports and going to a gymnasium to work out wasn’t an option. She also had plans to be a part of the school’s newspaper. That would look good on her resumé on the end of the course and would give her some of the experience on real journalism.

At the fair there was around 20 to 25 stalls. So many programs and activities to choose from.

“Oh boy, so many!” Kara had her mouth open. She was feeling slightly overwhelmed by that sight.

“I know! This university is pretty well stacked up on after class activities and programs. If you can think it, they pretty much have it.” Alex was experienced on this route even though she wasn’t a part of any of them. Med school was hard enough on its own. She didn’t really have much time to spare on extra curriculum stuff. All she did was spend time studying, spend time with her sister and friend and with her girlfriend. Speaking of which, she was walking to them to surprise her girlfriend.

“Hey look who it is! The Danvers’ sisters and their Tech dude” Maggie hugged her girlfriend from behind and kissed her cheek, having to stand on her toes to do so. “Hey babe!”

“Babe! Hi! What a surprise!” Alex turned around to give the sorter woman a gentle kiss on the lips “Don’t you have classes?”

Maggie was a short woman, around Alex’s age. She had dark brown locks of hair that blended into caramel blond. She usually wore a black leather jacket with dark jeans, usually black or grey. Her skin had the shade of one that has been kissed from the sun all her life. She was the very opposite of Alex. Fair skinned, short and deep red haired, tall Alex. Also a complete bad-ass. That they had in common.

“Oh hey! How is my favourite future law enforcement officer?” Winn couldn’t help the joke that was begging to come out. “Did you bring the doughnuts?”

They all chuckled.

“You know Winn, I cannot wait for you to be a dad. Your dad jokes are getting better. And no babe, not today. I came to see you!” Maggie gave Alex another kiss and grabbed her hand, entangling their fingers together. She looked over to Kara. “Hey Kara.”

“Hey Maggie.” Kara folded her arms across her chest. They had a good relationship. Good enough. But both of them felt a little envious and defensive about each other.

When Maggie came in Alex’s life, Kara stopped being her sister’s only one. Now she had to share her with this bad ass cop student woman that was very territorial herself. Maggie felt the same way towards Kara. There was a competition between the two of them even if they couldn’t really admit it out loud. Who knows Alex best? Who can make Alex happier? Who is more important? They tried their best to get along for the sake of her sister, they both just really wanted Alex to be happy and they knew that the both of them had a part in that.

They kept walking around the open spaced area.

“ So, what are we looking to join this year, my little ducklings?” Maggie referred to Kara and Winn.

“I’m looking for some role playing club. I miss playing those games” Winn was looking around cheerfully.

“Of course you are.” Said Alex, giving him a little shoulder push.

“What about you Kara?” Her sister didn’t really know what she was looking for either.

“Oh yeah, I want to join a sport and the newspaper.” This was expected. “I saw over there the basketball team’s stall and a little to the right the newspaper one.”

“Basketball?” Winn and Alex questioned, intrigued.

“What happened to volley? It’s your favourite sport. You’ve been playing it for years now…” Alex was slightly worried.

“And it is, it really is. But I feel the need to change. After what happened last year, you know, I don’t really want to tackle volley just yet.” Kara looked to the floor but then up ahead again. She wasn’t going to let a bad experience make her feel sad. Plus, it was months ago. She was over it. She just wanted to experience other things. Starting with a new sport.

“Oh, right.” Alex gave her sister a little smile. She admired her sister’s will and strength.

“Wait, what happened last year?” Winn had forgotten, he was too distracted, as he usually was. The girls looked at him with a dead expression, as if face palming was all that there as left to do.

“Carter, Winn. Remember?” Alex reminded the black haired boy.

“Oh shoot, right. I remember. Sorry Kara…” He felt apologetic.

Alex rolled her eyes as Kara gave Winn a smile and said “It’s okay. It’s not time to feel bad today. Today is a time for change and for future building. Am I right?”

They all cheered to that and continued walking and interacting with some stalls and with each other.

Among all that mess and noise, pleasant, but still noise, Kara, by accident, happened to look over to the same trees she had been looking at before. She noticed someone near those trees was looking at them too. A woman. She couldn’t see her face, or anything really. Her vision was good but wasn’t exactly supervision. But nevertheless, she felt empathetic to that woman standing there, probably feeling the season’s change as well as her life. Perhaps not feeling anything like that at all. Kara couldn’t guess. But that sight remained with her.


	6. Chapter 6

The first week of College went by fast. So fast Kara barely noticed the hours pass. She could feel the rhythm of all the fuss on the tips of her fingers like a heartbeat pounding.

Today she got accepted into the Lake Hawks Basketball team after trying out, leaving everyone in the team stunned. She was strong. She was fast. Even if basketball hadn’t been her go-to-sport, she knew how to play it. In Highschool she gambled with pretty much every sport they taught in class and basketball had been one of them, as well as volley, of course, track, softball, and soccer. She knew her way around.

The School’s Newspaper had also accepted her as the new column writer. They had liked the previous work she did during high school. She was going to write a column on the school’s newspaper every week.

So, it was all going well and she couldn’t wait to tell her sister.

As she was finishing dressing up after her shower, she heard the room’s door open and then close. Her sister entered carrying take out for both of them.

“You didn’t!” Kara gasped; her mouth opened in disbelief.

“Oh, I sure did” Alex danced with her neck, a cocky expression on her face. “Come on, let’s eat!”

Kara cheered and quickly grabbed plates and silverware and sat on their tiny dark blue couch and her sister followed suit.

Apparently, Alex wasn’t being fast enough for starving Kara.

“Alex hurry up! If those potstickers are not in my mouth in two seconds I will melt your face” Her knees were on her chest as she eagerly reached for the food.

“Alright, alright, hold on. Let me just…” Alex fixed her seat, handed Kara a plate and served the potstickers. “There you go.”

Kara quickly shoved two of them in her mouth, humming with closed eyes as if thanking Alex for this amazing treat.

“You’re welcome.” The red-haired woman laughed and took a bite out of the pizza she also brought in. “Tell me about your first week.” And so there they stayed all night, eating and talking about each other’s week until it was time to finally sleep.

\-------------

The clock marked 1 pm and it was time for the lunch break. Kara and Winn got together to eat in one of the university’s cafeteria as they usually did. The cafeteria food wasn’t as bad as it was advertised to be, Kara thought. Winn was telling her about this teacher he had that taught advanced computer engineering as well as biology, chemistry, investigation methods and another one of two classes he couldn’t remember.

“Wow, that’s… a lot” Kara found that impressive.

“I know, it’s unbelievable” His mouth was now full of rice.

She swallowed what she had in her mouth and took a sip of water.

“And you said he was how old?”

“She, actually.” Winn corrected.

“Oh, nice! Powerful woman. We need more of us.”

“Agreed. My course has too much testosterone even for me. Obviously, 80% of it comes from me, but still.” Winn smirked, proud of his remark.

“Ahah sure thing Winner” She knew that he liked being called Winner, but she only used it when he was being a dork. “But is she old?”

“Oh, right. Actually, no! She’s really young. Or at least seems like it. She didn’t say” At that, Winn raised his arm and waved at someone.

“Who are you waving to?” Kara didn’t see anybody returning the gesture, so she got a little confused.

“My roommate over there. I forgot to tell you, I invited him to have lunch with us!” Kara could finally see who it was. She didn’t know the man, but his face was familiar.

The dark-skinned man walked towards them. He was big and muscular. His harms filled his shirt sleeves to a point in which, if they were alive, the shirt would be screaming from the stretch. He had a cocky but handsome smile on his lips and with a small movement of his head upwards, he said hello.

“This is James Olsen, my roomie” He was tall and obviously very strong, and Kara remembered her friend mentioning that his roommate had a bunch of exercise machinery in the room occupying his beloved space. Clearly, he used it many times, a day.

“Kara, right?” This man seemed confident.

“Uh, yes, I am that.” She shook her head. “How do you kn-” He interrupted her.

“I’m in your course. Journalism, right? I have a couple of classes with you” Oh, so that was it. But he seemed much older than her.

“Oh right, sorry. I recognized you but I wasn’t being able to pinpoint from where” Kara blushed slightly, embarrassed. But in her defense, they were a great number of students.

“It’s alright. You always sit at the front. I’m more in the back so it’s understandable that you didn’t recognize me.” He sat down after giving Winn a pat on the back, perhaps a little too strongly.

“Right. And you two share a room! How uncommon is that? The world really is small huh?” She was making conversation. Kara was a great conversationalist. She could talk to anyone and have it be an interesting conversation. It’s one of those things you either have or don’t have.

So, for a while, while they ate, they were talking to each other. It was easy to talk to James she noticed, although she could tell he was quite one-sided in his dialogue. Every subject seemed to make a 180 and go back to him. Strange, she thought.

Almost at the end of their meal, Kara suddenly got distracted. Her focus was completely switched the moment she rested her eyes on the female figure entering the cafeteria. For some reason, she felt an extremely strong pull to this person, and she could barely even see her face. Her mouth was slightly open, and her dreamy blue eyes were standing still, moving only to follow this person as she, herself, got her plate. Deep down her body immediately craved contact with this person. Even if only just for a small conversation. She wanted to know who she was. So elegant. So polished. Who is she? She lost herself on the sight, ignoring everything else around her, she simply couldn’t stop looking.

For a second, she thought the woman had noticed her, just like prey sense the hunter right before it attacks. She could probably feel Kara’s eyes calling her through clear glasses. Shame started rising in Kara as she understood she was staring. She felt the need to look away but at the same time, she just wanted to keep looking. The woman with long brown hair started turning, all this motion slow yet so fast. Oh no. Kara, look away! Stop staring, Kara do something! Ka-

“-ra?”

“Kara?”

“Earth calling Kara”

“Is she-?”


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey KARA!?” She jumped a little on her seat, turning quickly to her side to face Winn. Both boys were looking strangely at her.

“What? What, um, yes?” She ducked her head down and fixed her glasses, a nervous mannerism, feeling the awkwardness rise in her just like the hot blood pumping her cheeks tinting them a soft shade of pink.

“Where did you go, little Danvers?” Winn was intrigued. He looked in the direction Kara had been looking but he didn’t see anyone in particular.

“Yeah, looks like you saw a ghost or something.” James’ low voice was heard.

“What?” She pretended to be unaware. “No, no, no, no, I was just thinking about the um...” She looked around, trying to find that woman. She didn’t find her amongst all those people. “the um... Food. Yes. Which dessert I want.” Nailed it.

The two men looked at each other, Winn squinting his eyes and James raising an eyebrow, not believing a word the embarrassed blonde had said.

“Hmhm, sure Kara, sure,” Winn said as Kara held the cup of water to her mouth with a little too much force. “And which one is it?” He was teasing her. He knew perfectly well she didn’t want any of those desserts.

Kara stopped gulping the water, wide-eyed, and looked at the boys. “Turns out I was just thirsty.” And she got up to leave. The boys followed and James laughed and asked Winn:

“Is she always like this?” He was only half joking. Winn nodded yes with his head at the same time his shoulders shrugged.

“Hey! Come on, I saw that!” And they started moving towards the tray rack.

As they were cruising the cafeteria to the tray racks, a far too long of a walk just to do so, Kara noticed for the first time. Mental note: sit closer to the doors. Winn spotted someone. As Kara placed her tray on its place, she turned to Winn as she heard him say:

“Oh hello, Miss Luthor! Bon Appetit.” Charming and dorky as always.

…

A loud and rather catastrophic noise flooded the cafeteria at a velocity that felt faster than light. Kara put her hands in front of her mouth and shouted a small “Shoot!” She let her tray fall and with it the silverware, the ceramic place and the glass cup causing the latter two items to break in various pieces, scattering all over the floor near her.

“Shoot, shoot, shoot! I’m sorry.” She apologized to the air. Perhaps an apology to everyone eating for the loud noise disturbing their meal, perhaps to the staff that quickly got out of their work stations to check on what had happened. For certain to the lady that caused her this little brief hand paralysis.

“Kara, are you okay?” Winn got down on one knee and grabbed the tray and the silverware.

“Yes, yes. I just. It slipped. I’m not sure how.” Kara now quivering, bent down and started to grab the bigger broken pieces. She felt everyone’s eyes on her. Especially hers.

“Be careful not to cut yourself!” Was this her voice? It was worried. It wasn’t mockery she heard. It seemed painted with worry and amusement. This notion drove Kara unfocused again and only two seconds after she felt a sharp and fast dash on her palm. She gulped.

“Miss, don’t worry about this. We’ll take care of it.” A staff member placed a thick hand on the young girl’s shoulder, slightly pushing her back. The brooms and shovels were ready to act.

Kara closed her hand tight, not letting anyone see her hand start to bleed, or so she thought, and she got up.

“Thank you, Fernanda. I’m sorry about this mess.” And she turned away, making sure she didn’t look again at that lady. Miss Luthor. Tempting name. Why was it familiar? Who was this woman? She shook her head out of that thought process, shouted “See you in third period Winn!” and left to the bathroom.

She opened the tap and let the water run on her wound. Damnit! What on Earth was that?

Her mirror image was looking at her with a disapproving expression. She felt nothing but shame. Her hands were still shaking from the embarrassment and her face was as red as a wine stain. She needed some band-aids.

She took off her glasses and with the intact hand she splashed water on her face trying to cool down her burning cheeks, she got some toilet paper, dried herself and wrapped a fair amount of it on her hand to try to stop the blood from dripping. The sink by now had red and pink spots so she quickly cleaned that with more water and left to find the infirmary only to turn back around at the door to close the tap she left open.

She stopped before leaving the bathroom and hoped she wouldn’t run into anyone she didn’t want to see at the moment. A minute later, fast Kara found what she was looking for.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to give some credit to my great friend Marcia who inspired me to write this fanfic by trusting me to be the beta on her own amazing fanfictions. She's the most creative person I know. I really like her brain.  
> Thank you for encouraging me on this journey @Maggschuu <3

Luthor… Miss Luthor…

Why was this name so familiar? She knew it from somewhere. Lying in bed, facing the ceiling, she couldn’t stop thinking about that name.

During the third period, Winn was kind enough to mock her the whole time. His voice only deepening with seriousness when he saw her wrapped up hand.

“Oh Kara, I didn’t notice you had hurt yourself!” Winn took her hand in his.

“Oh, it was nothing. I shouldn’t have tried to grab the broken pieces with my hands” She was smiling, still feeling a hint of shame in her.

“That was a weird experience. James really got a killer first impression of my best friend, didn’t he?” He sounded sweet.

“Ughh tell me about it!”

That evening, Kara told Alex what had happened. About the hand, she meant. She didn’t know what it was, but something told her not to disclose anything about what made her drop the tray in the first place. Not yet anyway. Mostly because she herself didn’t quite understand it. How many times had she seen that woman? One. One time. What had made her behave that way? She has never been easily clumsy.

Luthor…

Alex wasn’t in the room. She went on a date with her girlfriend Maggie and Kara, still looking up, lost on her thoughts trying to pinpoint where she knew that name from, had an idea. Google, duh. So, she threw her legs to the side of the bed and jumped to the secretary and typed: Luthor.

She quickly understood why Luthor was such a familiar name. Lex Luthor, the criminal.

Oh god. Is she his wife?

She closed the laptop stopping herself before searching and reading any more of those articles. For some reason, she didn’t want to get an answer she wasn’t ready to get yet. Why would she need to be ready anyway? This woman was only that. A woman…

But knowing of his crimes, she couldn’t imagine anyone loving that man or worse, being his wife.

She shrugged and shook her head. A yawn left her body and she knew then that it was time for her to sleep. That whole event of today had drained her. She needed rest.

That night she dreamt of that woman. If she hadn’t been busy enough with the feeling of shame that still lingered in her body, with an open wound to remind her, she would have thought it was predictable.

The dream had been vivid. She couldn’t recall it the moment she woke up. Those memories would come back to her later on as she was walking with her sister to her class.

From their dorm, the blonde girl’s class was about two blocks away. Alex and her sister were discussing tonight’s events.

“Let’s go out!” Alex suggested.

“Alright. But where?” Kara didn’t know any party places around. She hadn’t gone to one yet. Three or four days ago her Newspaper college Eve had told her about a bar or two, but she didn’t remember the name of any and didn’t know where they were.

“Let’s go to a bar. I know just the one” The older sister clapped her hands in excitement drawing an easy and amused smile on the other girl’s lips.

“Wait, wait, wait” Kara was enthusiastic. If Alex was about to tell her what she was thinking, she would literally scream. “Does it have something in particular that also happens to have my name on it?” Her words were so energetic Alex had trouble keeping up the pace.

“It certainly does!” Alex said.

“Karaoke!!!! I’m IN!” Kara was overjoyed. She loved karaoke. Her sister, Winn and she used to have karaoke competitions all the time back in high school.

“We can even invite Maggie and Winn’s roommate. What’s his name? John? Jason?

“James. It’s James. And yes, totally!” Kara was gleaming. Her walk was almost like a dance.

As they discussed details and walked, Kara saw James talking to the woman she had seen yesterday in the cafeteria. Her feet refused to continue to walk. They were not very far away from the classroom door and they were also standing awfully too close to each other for Kara’s liking. Why are they standing so close? A hint of jealousy rushed through Kara’s veins. She couldn’t help feeling it.

She was also aware that it was inappropriate for her to be feeling this way. After all, she didn’t really know any of these people. She didn’t know anything about this woman except that her last name was Luthor and that she probably had some sort of connection with the imprisoned Lex Luthor. She learned today, looking at her next to James that she was probably shorter than her and that her hair, kissed by light, revealed a hidden shine. Copper. She wondered what other colours her hair could show when exposed to different lights.

And with that thought, she remembered her dream at the velocity of a snap.

She was in the auditorium during class, but she wasn’t sure which class it was. There were only about 20 or 25 students attending it. She had someone in the seat right before her and near the board, on the table, a figure sat. This figure was as feminine as it could get. Curved. Delineated only by the biggest art master. Devine.

The woman turned around slowly, her hair fell from her ear, resembling the dance of a freshly washed silk sheet at the wind’s mercy. That sight stole a gasp from Kara’s mouth as if all the air in the room had suddenly been sucked away. It was her. The woman spoke with an accent Kara couldn’t quite put her finger on.

“Hello, students. I’m Miss Luthor and I’ll be giving today’s class.” She was wearing a blue dress with the fabric falling from her shoulders, leaving them exposed and enticing. Kara remembered the feel of her heart pounding, just as it was pounding now. She felt a great need to kiss those shoulders and use them as trails her lips could travel on.

Miss Luthor started calling the names on the piece of paper she had in her hands and one by one, name by name, the students vanished, and the room darkened slightly. When she finally said Kara Danvers, Kara exhaled. Never had she found her name sexy but coming from this woman’s mouth it sounded too good to be true.

“So, you’re Kara.” The woman looked Kara from head to toe in a way that should never be allowed.

The young girl gulped. She was sweating. Stunned by Miss Luthor’s accent and mouth.

“How’s your hand?” Kara saw the woman’s lower lip get caught between her teeth and immediately her legs shivered.

She looked down to her hand and when her blue eyes returned to the woman’s, which color she couldn’t make out, she was already inches away from Kara.

The younger girl’s body was pulled forward by some sort of magical force and she licked her lips. Her hands landed on the teacher’s thighs.

“Come here.” Said the brunette, inching forward and grabbing Kara’s shirt.


	9. Chapter 9

She woke.

The woman was on her profile and so was James, holding his briefcase on one hand and his camera on his neck. It gave him an intellectual look. Approachable. Professional.

Kara kept her eyes on the shorter woman’s profile. She couldn’t quite understand what color her eyes were. They seemed bright.

Her hands were trembling slightly, the trance she was in started to doze off and the woman’s laughter was heard. He made her laugh.

He made her laugh?

“They know each other?” Kara mumbled very quietly without meaning to. It was as if she was standing on a tightrope between reality and a dream.

“Did you say something?” Alex found her sister’s sudden stop strange. “Why did you stop? Is there something wrong?”

Kara was brought back to reality at the sound of her sister’s worried voice.

“What?” Her blue eyes drifted back to the coffee-brown of her sister’s eyes.

“Is there anything wrong, Kara?” Alex’s hand was on Kara’s elbow. “You stopped walking.” She was confused.

“Oh! Right. I did!” She hadn’t noticed. “I just remembered something.” Her eyes didn’t leave her sister’s. She knew that if she looked back to James and that woman she would get distracted again and her sister would be able to tell.

“Right… Anyway, this is you. I’m going left now” Alex pulled her sister into a hug. “We’re scheduled for tonight! Don’t forget! She knew her sister wouldn’t but noticing her slight dozed off expression, she made sure to remind her.

“Of course, I won’t! I can’t wait.” Kara was with her back to the two of them now.

“I think that’s James over there.” Oh god. “Don’t forget to invite him!” Said Alex as she waved to Kara, turning away and softly starting a jog back to her own class.

“Right, I will.” Suddenly she didn’t want to. Kara let out the air she had accumulated in her lungs in a strong exhale. She took a deep breath and turned.

Wait, where did she go?

James saw Kara as he was entering the class and said hello to her just like he did yesterday at lunchtime. Kara returned it with an animated ‘James!’ trying to hide the primary feeling of dislike. He made the woman laugh.

“Are you coming to class?” He stopped right before entering the room to wait for her. Kara took three fast steps and met him at the entrance.

“Yep. I am. Are you?” Well obviously, Kara. The girl pursed her lips and adjusted her glasses.

They sat next to each other in that class and James tried to talk to her multiple times, but Kara was not there. Her mind was elsewhere. She was thinking of that dream. She couldn’t remember if their mouths had met each other or not, what the texture of Miss Luthor’s dress was, what was the color of her eyes. She had a feeling they were clear. She barely had looked her in the face. At the cafeteria, everything happened so quickly. She could only remember her voice. Her accent. What was it?

“Psst Kara?” James reached for her arm. “Did you hear me?”

“What? I’m sorry, I didn’t” She looked to her right to look at his olive eyes. She couldn’t distinguish the pupil from the iris. They didn’t seem human.

“You always seem to be distracted when you’re with me, don’t you?” That self-assured undertone was once again noticeable. James was a confident man. Arrogant too, it seemed. Kara rolled her eyes at that with a far too amused expression. She knew Winn liked this guy, so she wasn’t planning on marking anyone close to her friends as an enemy. Not even Maggie. Or worse now, James. He could make her laugh.

Stop thinking about that Kara!

“Hahaha. It does seem like it, doesn’t it?” She ducked her head down, fixing her glasses. That nervous and humble tick. But it was true actually. Every time she had been with James, Miss Luthor had been also present.

“But no.” Kara’s smile, now shy, begun to fade. “I’m just paying attention to the class.” She lied.

“You weren’t even looking at the teacher…” He questioned, shaking his head a little as if really confused by what the girl had just said.

“Well, yes. That’s right.” She smiled again, lifting her hand up to her ear tapping on it three times. “I have a great sound memory. I can pretty much pay attention to anything with just my ears.”

“Oh really?” He turned his body slightly brushing his leg to Kara’s.

“Yeah. It’s like I have super-hearing.” She moved her own legs without raising suspicion and sat differently in order for them not to touch, returning her attention to the teacher.

James turned to him too but mumbled under his breath, making sure Kara heard it.

“You are one strange woman, Kara Danvers.”

That word brought her thoughts back to where they had been.

“Oh, speaking of which! Who was that woman you were talking to before class?” She said after getting her shoulder closer to his. She didn’t turn and only half looked at him. She was afraid her body might have said what her words didn’t.

He found it a rather strange question.

“Who? Miss Luthor?”

“Yes, that one. Who is she? I have seen her around.” Kara hoped her voice sounded as smooth and contained as she thought it to be.

“She’s a teacher here. You’re going to have her in the second semester or next year. I’m not sure. She’s great. What a brain. What a woman.” He dragged that last phrase leaving Kara with a little green monster inside her begging to come out. “I’m gonna tell you a secret.” Kara stared at him directly now.

“Okay, I’m all ears.”

“I have a big thing for that woman. I was actually trying to invite her out when you probably saw us.” Shit. Now she really disliked him. Sorry, Winn…

“Is that so?” Her voice was shaky. Her nervous system started acting up.

“Yeah. She said no, but I think I will make her change her mind though. Just give me time.” He straightened himself in the chair. Proud. Big. Confident. Cocky.

Kara quickly grabbed her phone pretending to have received a message. She needed to get out of there. She needed space from this giant man. She gave him a silly excuse and started to get up to leave. Oh right. Karaoke.

“Hey, if you want, tonight my sister, Winn and I are going to a bar for some karaoke and drinks. You’re invited to come.” These words took such strength in her to come out it surprised her she was able to and so smoothly even.

He said yes, of course, and they exchanged the time and place quickly. She left the room in a rush, banging the door behind her causing almost everyone in the room to flinch.

Shoot! There was no time to go back and apologize now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who is reading!  
> I sure hope you are enjoying this story so far :)


	10. Chapter 10

It was almost 9 pm when Alex and Kara finished their dinner. They had made plans to get together with Winn, James and Maggie at 9:30 at the university’s main gate.

Once ready, they walked the long street that separated their dorms from the rest of the university and from the main gate. There they waited with a sleeping sun. The sky was getting darker by the minute and some of its glitter could already be seen.

“I wonder what’s out there.” Kara was looking up at the sky, her mouth slightly open. “Do you believe in aliens?” She asked offering her sister one of her most well-known expectant and glimmer-y open eyed expression.

“Of course.” Alex was looking at the sky too.

“Why?”

“I just think it would be really selfish of us to think we were the only ones in such a vast universe. It seems like a no brainer to me.”

“Yeah…” Kara bit her lip as if she could taste the idea of that possible knowledge. “I think so too.”

Maggie approached them silently like a starving panther preparing to give them a little scare.

“BOOO!” She jumped and screamed which lead her girlfriend to get into a defence position immediately.

“Babe! Oh my god don’t do that! It’s night time. I have a scalpel on my bag!” Alex fixed her short hair that had fallen on her sharp nose with the jump scare.

“Oh, come on babe. I’m a cop!” Maggie said proudly.

“Well, almost” Commented Kara in a teasing tone.

“Yes almost. But I got your backs.” She turned to Alex specifically. “Need not to worry my queen. I am thy knight who shall protect you until the day of my perish.” The shorter woman articulated dramatically with her hand finishing her short speech with a bow.

“Aww babe! I’m touched. Have you thought about going to theatre school?” Alex kissed her little brown nose.

“Haha Danvers. Very Funny.”

Kara took that opportunity to interject. “Where are those damn boys. That ‘oke’ needs its ‘Kara’!” Alex laughed at that. That joke never got old, as cheesy as it was. “Oh, there they are!” Kara waved at them and they all went to the car.

Maggie drove them to the bar in what could be called a little awkward ride for Kara. Thank god Winn sat in the middle. She was not looking forward to anything other than that.

At the bar, they each ordered their little liquid courage and after a few sips over small talk, Kara, ecstatic, organized the four of them in a straight like parallel to the stage. A military attitude was adopted right then and there, and Kara’s expression was fierce and serious. The face of a leader. And as she walked slowly pass them one by one, she spoke with the confidence of one too.

“I know some of you are scared. I know some of you have never done this before.” Closer to Winn her voice got stronger. “I know some of you are ready to get out there and prove yourselves.” She stopped in front of Alex who, swinging her head from left to right, cracked her neck in a preparation mode. Her voice lowered. “But just remember why we do this.” She turned around facing the rest of the bar. “We do this for the PEOPLE!”

The four friends roared a strong “YEAH!” and Kara, still looking fierce but with a hint of a grin showing, turned slightly to face the bartender, swung her arm forward pointing her finger at him and shouted: “HIT IT!”

And so, the karaoke began.

Winn went first. He picked a Justin Timberlake song and showed his pipes. The boy could sing! The song choice was more of a joke than a serious one, but he could sing ‘Sexyback’ like no other person they had ever seen. He pulled and pushed and played with his vocal cords like a goddamn pro.

Throughout the whole song as Winn sang the primary lyrics, the others accompanied him from their seats.

‘I’m bringing sexy back (YEAH!)

Them other boys don't know how to act (YEAH!) …’

 

They cheered and drunk as the loud music and unprofessional singers took on the stage and the space of the bar. It wasn’t a very big bar. It was comfortable and didn’t have a lot of people there besides a couple of lost drivers and some late-night student bloomers.

Alex and Maggie chose a duet. ‘Come What May’ from the musical ‘Moulin Rouge’, their favourite movie together and they sang it with the passion of their relationship. They shared a sweet kiss at the end yanking a collective ‘awww’ from their public.

Their kiss drove Kara back to her dream, filling in the blanks of her mind. She was starting to worry. She hadn’t stopped thinking about this woman. She was so intrigued. Winn knew her, James did too. Obviously. She wanted to get the chance to meet her as well. When she pulled herself out of that thought, James was on stage picking the song he would sing.

Winn cheered for his friend and they all raised their glasses. Not even here James was shy.

He started singing.

‘She had a shiny little beamer with the rag top down,  
Sittin' in the drive but she wouldn't get out…’

Who would’ve guessed that this giant man would pick such a song. Kara was expecting some sort of rap or even indie but certainly not this.

He kept singing the lyrics grabbing the three girls’ and Winn’s full attention on the way. They couldn’t quite figure out what song he was singing.

‘…And I can take you for a ride on my big green tractor,  
We can go slow or make it go faster,..’

These lines got the right to a little dance from James’ part and all. He sang them with his posture slightly curved and with his mic-free hand traveling from his chest to his crotch and then hopping a little to the rhythm of the beat.

“Woooooo! Take your shirt off!” Winn shouted making the slightly uncomfortable girls share a laugh.

Winn was always one to make an uncomfortable situation somewhat bearable.

When James finished his little Magic Mike concert, Winn threw his jacket at him as a manner of showing praise.

He was very fit and attractive, that couldn’t be denied.

They took a small break o refill their drinks and when it was time for Kara to pick her song, she went through the list and tried to find the one that made the most sense to her.

Her mind was fixed on one thing only and she was trying to find a way to get it out without having to really say anything much in particular. For them it could be just a song.

For Kara, it was a realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello guys! I was so excited to post this that I did the beta-ing myself. It's usually my dear girlfriend so sorry babe! I just couldn't wait and you were already asleep.  
> If you find any error or mistake let me know please so I can make this chapter even better.  
> Hope you had some fun reading it!


	11. Chapter 11

As Kara was picking her song, scrolling through the bar’s tablet, James got up to go get something from the bar. He leaned over the bar counter and asked something to the man in the white shirt cleaning a bottle of tequila.

Kara ignored that fact and picked the song, pressing play. The song had a length of three minutes and thirty seconds. As soon and the song began, Alex and Maggie cheered shouting happy wooos and sharing waves of laughter. Winn was playing drums with his fingers on the table.

Kara loved this. Singing, being with her friends and enjoying the time they were sharing as melodies of cheerful songs filled the background.

As she reached the second chorus, someone opened the bar door and entered, putting her head first, intrigued by what was going on inside. Kara didn’t see her get in, she was too focused on the moment to acknowledge anything except the lyrics in front of her, but this wasn’t meant to last. Only seconds later she noticed movement in her periphery. James, who before had been looking at her, smiling, now turned to his left with an even bigger smile. Kara followed the invisible line his eyes were drawn to the woman approaching him.

When she saw who it was, she missed a line.

No Kara don’t let it ruin this moment!

She quickly caught the pace and continued singing as if it hadn’t even happened at all.

Alex noticed this change in Kara. Her shoulders stiffened. Her back straightened. She looked back and saw James interacting with someone and thought that perhaps her sister didn’t like seeing that. Wait. Did she like him?

James pointed to Kara and the woman looked at her. Kara looked at her too. Her face adopted the shade of cherry wine, but the low and alternative lighting was an ally to her this moment. This was an opportunity like no other. Kara filled her lungs with courage, perhaps with the help of the liquid sort she had been drinking and looked the woman in the eyes and she sang, alternating between the woman and her friends but making sure the parts of the song that made sense to her were belted directly at her, as if sending a coded message.

“Here come the dreams of you and me. Here come the dreams...”

The woman seemed to be stuck on this sight. Her eyes wouldn’t leave Kara. They only did twice. To ask for a bright copper shaded drink and to quickly tell James something.

“I want you close, I want you. I won't treat you like you're typical…”

The woman sipped her drink promisingly. Kara felt eaten alive as if those clear eyes were looking at her soul. Her eyes really are clear. Perhaps it was the drink making her imagine things.

Kara was putting on a show. She knew it. She was working the seduction and courage she didn’t quite know she had in her.

“All I want to get is a little bit closer. All I want to know is, can you come a little closer?”

She finished. Her eyes didn’t leave that woman. She felt a hint of shame rising. She was sure she would regret this in the morning. Her friends cheered her with raised glasses and applause, but the woman did not applaud. She simply stood there biting her lip and moving her head slightly up and down.

Alex noticed Kara’s gaze stuck on someone. The blonde woman bowed and cheered too, keeping on her that grin of pride. She couldn’t believe she had just done this.

Miss Luthor turned back to James, leaning forward to tell him something and the jealousy in Kara arose to the surface and before she could stop herself, she left the stage and walked towards the storm.

Winn took to the stage again, as he obviously should. That boy belted God from his mouth.

They didn’t notice her walking towards them.

The woman was laughing again. Ugh! What? She wanted to do that too.

“A water please,” Kara asked the bartender. She turned to the two of them and smiled, then back to the bartender who gave her the water bottle.

“So, you like Tegan and Sara huh?” James asked, playfully.

“Oh um, yeah. I do.” Her eyes alternated between James and the woman’s. Green. They were green and light, like emeralds under the warm sunlight. “I really like them.” The band of the eyes?

James stood there for two seconds looking at Kara and the woman looking at each other. He touched Kara’s shoulder breaking the staring game the two women were involved in.

“Right. This is Miss Luthor. The one I told you about earlier today, remember?” She already knew this was Miss Luthor. She was just frozen by her beauty up close. Close and clear. She could see all her features now.

She could see her eyes, bright green and big, daring. Those were the kind of eyes all the writers in history said they would die for. She could see her nose, thin and yet round. She could see her eyebrows and how strong they were. She wanted to see how they changed this woman’s expressions. She could see her lips. They brought to her possible memories her sleeping brain created after a ‘Come here’. A cold breeze traveled her spine.

Miss Luthor cut James’ words before they left his big lips. Her heels kissed the floor with a loud stump, perhaps almost as loud as Kara’s own heartbeat, as she came closer to her, picking up the glass she had placed on the counter. If Kara weren’t tipsy on liquid and drunk on nerves, she would’ve thought that the woman did this on purpose.

“And who are you exactly?” As she asked her this, her head shook slightly, and her voice trembled. Laughter. Her lips, red as Kara’s cheeks had been previously were parted on a confident smile. She returned to the place she had been, allowing a slight breeze of perfume and femininity to involve Kara.

“Miss Luthor, I already told you.” James tried to step in. He did actually. He told Miss Luthor Kara’s name and how she was studying in the college, but both women completely ignored him.

“I’m uh-” She took a breath, fast and deep. “I’m Kara Danvers.” She couldn’t look away from the woman’s own gaze. For a couple of seconds, nothing else existed expect them. Blues and greens.

“That’s a name I wouldn’t associate with a singer.” Miss Luthor squinted her eyes almost imperceptibly; a slight sarcasm could be heard. “Sounds more like a super hero’s name.” She took a sip and one of her eyebrows became even more arched. “Or the name of a reporter maybe.” James had also told her Kara was in his course.

Kara was stunned by this woman. She couldn’t quite react to her irony.

“Oh um… well” She ducked her head down and fixed her glasses. “I’m not a singer, professionally…” She looked at James briefly.

“You could’ve fooled me.” Miss Luthor’s eyebrows jumped and her eyes widened for a moment. She crossed her arms.

Kara bit her lip and smiled. A compliment. The first ever compliment this woman had told her.

The older woman could tell she had left Kara without ground for a moment. She had that effect on people when they weren’t judging her because of her last name, of course, but she knew. She knew perfectly well she was the living embodiment of sensuality.

Her arms unfolded and she took another sip.

“How’s your hand?”

Oh god.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys liking all the fun little easter eggs from the actual show that I'm putting in this work?  
> I dare you to find them and comment them. Let's see who really pays attention ;)

“How’s your hand?”

Oh god. She knows.

Kara was caught off guard. Suddenly every sound around her was intensified into an unbearable noise and at the same time, she couldn’t hear anything at all. That question had caught her just like that first appearance did. A déjà vu. Somehow Miss Luthor always seemed to take Kara’s words and capability to think or act.

Miss Luthor was expectant. One hand on her elbow above a red jacket. She was wearing tight and black pants that hugged her shape like a perfect glove. Her shirt, with finishing lacing, was bold. Like a statement. I am business and I am pleasure and you can’t have me. Was that a dare?

Green eyes followed Kara’s body from her head to her hand. The blue-eyed girl, although taller, felt smaller compared to this woman’s greatness. Her liquid-induced courage had started to fade.

“Kara,” She heard a familiar voice call. “You’re up!” Alex.

This was the perfect excuse to leave, even if she didn’t want to. She started turning, her topaz blue eyes did not want to leave the emerald green ones but found themselves being drafted to Alex with the microphone in hand, nevertheless.

“I’m-” She looked at the older woman once more. Gosh was she beautiful. “I’m sorry, I have to go.” She quickly gazed at James and turned away.

James and the teacher were left looking at Kara, sprinting to her sister, that then shook her head yes with a worried expression. Alex gently placed her hand on her sister’s lower back and said something to her girlfriend. Maggie gave her the keys to the car. They left the bar without looking back.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Alex sat on the driver’s seat and turned the ignition. “What happened?” She backed the car up, looking over her shoulder as Kara answered:

“Yes, I’m fine, I just need some sleep.” The car window seemed like the only thing Kara could actually face right now. Images of her dream were flashing before her eyes. Images she had created while awake were doing so too. She knew her eyes now. So bright. So gleamy. She could hear a hint of laughter she had provoked on her. She could see her lips and how full they were and her cheeks. Her hair… How she smelled… How she…

“Alex…” Kara called her sister hesitantly. “When you met Maggie…” Her sister looked at the young blonde, she now seemed even younger. “How was it like?”

Her sister’s expression showed compassion.

“Oh, Kara…” Alex exhaled. She thought she understood now. “It was great. I didn’t know I wanted her right away. Actually, we got along pretty damn bad” Alex was proud. Kara’s eyes were smiling, and her head slightly tilted to her shoulder.

“I know. But then how did it feel like?”

“Well… It felt…” How could words describe it? “It was like coming in for fresh air on a hot summer day, or, or like an addiction. She was all I could think of. Every characteristic of her fascinated me. And they still do, the only difference is that now I can process it better.” Kara was paying attention. “But it’s one of those things only the other person teaches you about. But why do you ask, sis?”

Kara bit her lip and returned her eyes to the nightlights of the near city.

“Nothing in particular. You guys are really cute.” She wasn’t ready to share.

The rest of the drive was smooth and wordless. Alex took her sister to their room and made sure she was okay to stay there alone. She had plans to go sleep at Maggie’s tonight.

“Yes, go! Have fun!” Kara winked at her sister. “Thank you for bringing me here, Alex.” She sat on the bed and Alex threw a pillow at her face.

“No problem. Call me if you need.” She kissed her temple and left, closing the door behind her gently.

Kara got up and went to the bathroom. Again, looking at the mirror she recalled the events from tonight. Kara flirted with the woman through a Tegan and Sara song. Putting it this way, she found it quite hilarious. Her chin neared her chest and a smile was on her lips. The best part was, if Kara recalled correctly, the woman had liked it! She thought. And she had flirted back!

Kara did her night routine and got in bed, pulling her soft covers to her belly leaving the upper body exposed.

She had flirted back.

Kara laid there alone in the dark gently caressing her tummy and thinking about Alex’s words.

‘the other person teaches you…’

This phrase echoed in her mind like background music as her eyes, even though they were closed, saw perfectly the most beautiful shape she had ever seen.

Miss Luthor…

She had an idea. She knew people did this.

Her hand slowly started descending, feeling her own skin on the way.

‘the other person teaches you…’

Her legs drifted slightly open, leaving just enough space for her hand to rest calmly on herself. She wanted to learn some things.

Teach me…

She thought. Teach me how to love you. Her mind was rushing. Virgin flesh, undiscovered and untravelled yearned for knowledge. She was done with simple play. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know what she could do and how that woman soaked her underwear. She wanted to understand what was happening and why. She wanted to discover and travel and feel and imagine.

And so, she did. Multiple times that night she looked for the older woman in her own body. Sometimes she reached her.

This was the first time she had been this free. This was the first time she understood what it meant to really desire. She wanted to know more. She needed to know more.

Teach me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I was so excited about this one that i did the beta-ing myself. Let me know if you spot any errors or mistakes! Thank youuuu


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is it like to be in love to you guys?

That week the blonde girl experimented more and more every time Alex was sleeping over on Maggie’s loft. She felt good experimenting. Trying new things and seeing what works or not. She thought to herself ‘Why haven’t I done this before?’ or ‘How did I not think about this?’.

But with the pleasure of that kind of touch came the shame of what her closed eyes pictured. Which hands and which lips she imagined touching her. She tried to make herself think of other things. She tried reading and she tried visuals. Nothing could shake back those emerald eyes she longed to see again. In fact, it only awakened in her more ideas and more desire.

Since that karaoke night she hadn’t seen the woman again. It all felt like a dream. Winn had looked for Kara to check up on her. He had shown up on her dorm after class when she was out of the basketball trainings. He hadn’t understood very well what had happened. Kara told him she had felt slightly sick, that maybe it was the drinks that hadn’t fell well with her dinner. Actually, it was she who fell, but that wasn’t yet at her arms’ reach.

At class, James kept nudging Kara with his elbow or breathing over her about how she seemed distant and dreamy when he was with her. He complimented her vocal skills and he spoke of his crush, yanking Kara’s green monster right from her lungs. Kara had never felt this kind of jealousy. It was like a heartburn mixed with queasiness. She needed to talk about this to someone.

Alex.

That night Kara talked to her sister.

“Alex?” She said looking over to her sister on her right, preparing the bed to get in.

“Yeah?” Alex didn’t look at her sister.

“I need to talk to you about something.” Hearing that, Alex turned to sit on the bed facing Kara.

“Is there anything wrong?” She was worried. Kara looked up to the ceiling.

“I don’t know…”

“You don’t know?”

“I don’t know if it is wrong.” She took a deep breath.

“Kara… Was it-?” Alex was running her mind trying to find any leads to this sudden tone in her beloved sister’s voice. “Is this about that thing you asked me after karaoke?”

Kara remained silent.

“About what it felt like?” The red head thought she understood.

The air Kara had been holding left her longs strongly making her lips tremble.

“Yes…” It was difficult talking about this.

“Kara… I thought so. Are you-” She stopped herself before finishing that sentence. She didn’t want to put it that way. “Who is the person?”

Kara bit her lip.

“Someone… Older…” Kara smiled saying that last word. “I don’t know her age but she’s obviously quite older.”

Alex’s eyes were open wide. She wasn’t expecting that pronoun.

“Wait. She?” Kara looked over at her sister with her eyebrows inquisitive. Partly offended partly confused. Alex understood what her sister was telling her with that expression. “No, no, no. It’s just-” Alex laughed slightly. “I thought you liked James!”

Kara was the one wide eyed now.

“JamES?? Oh my god Alex, what?” She was shocked. “Not in a million years. No. God no.”

“I’m sorry!! It’s just, he said something to Winn and obviously Winn came running to me to tell me and it made some sense actually. I thought it could be true.” A fast pillow hit Alex’s face and Kara pretended to be offended.

“Oh god. Yeah, I can imagine. He’s been nagging me all week about how I’m always different when he’s around.” Kara made mocking gestures with her hand, with a smile on masking a certain disgust of the idea of liking James like that.

“Yeah, I bet. He’s a little too into himself don’t you think?” Kara agreed, not needing words to do so.

“But it is true actually… But only because when that happens it’s usually because she happens to be in the same place…” Her eyes were dreamy, half looking at Alex, half picturing someone else.

“Who is she?” Alex was intrigued and interested. She couldn’t guess. Her eagerness was obvious.

“Don’t mock me.” Alex held her hands to her heart.

“It’s Miss Luthor.” Outing that name for the first time ever, Kara covered her face with a pillow as to hide her grin. It tasted differently letting it out like this. She had been muttering it below breaths as if it were a hum and nothing else. A little tune of a secret song.

Alex was shocked. That she wasn’t expecting.

“Oh my god, the professor?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Well. That is um, that is different. I wasn’t expecting it…” She shook her head. “And are you sure? Do you know her?” She wanted to understand.

“Well, yes and no. I don’t know!” Her voice was strong yet hesitant. “I just, I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced… It’s bigger than it was with Winn. It’s bigger than it was with Carter. It’s just. I can’t stop thinking about her. I just want to see her, every day. I want to know her. I even think she might want the same thing.” She bit her tongue after the last confession, not entirely sure she should have said it as it sounded quite delusional to her. Luckily, her sister didn’t catch that.

“Oh Kara… You are sure!” Alex bit her lip. Not really knowing what to say. Part of her wanted to play with Kara about this but she could feel in her sister’s voice that it was something serious. “Have you guys talked? Has anything happened?” or worse “Do you know who she is?”

“We talked a little in the karaoke bar. And nothing has happened. Expect me making a fool of myself in front of her.” Kara stopped. “What do you mean who she is?”

“Well, doesn’t her last name sound familiar?”

“Oh, right. Luthor. As in Lex Luthor. Yeah, I know.” Kara was hesitant now.

“She’s his sister.” Sister!

“Oh, thank god.” Alex was even more confused now. She asked her sister how come it was a thank god her first reaction. “What? I thought she was his wife. You can’t choose siblings but a husband you can, you know?”

For an extra hour the Danvers sisters talked about what it was like, being in love, if that was what Kara was feeling at all. She didn’t quite know. She knew it was strong and she had the impression that it wasn’t going to go away that fast. They talked about the age difference and how hilarious it was that they thought Kara liked James, and they talked about how James liked Miss Luthor and how that made Kara feel.

Alex knew her sister was in love. Strangely but surely.

After her sister went to sleep, Kara, wide awake, could not sleep yet so she decided to check her emails.

She had a Newspaper little work offering that seemed promising. She just wasn’t expecting how promising it really was.

“Oh my god, the professor?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. Well. That is um, that is different. I wasn’t expecting it…” She shook her head. “And are you sure? Do you know her?” She wanted to understand.

“Well, yes and no. I don’t know!” Her voice was strong yet hesitant. “I just, I can’t stop thinking about her. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced… It’s bigger than it was with Winn. It’s bigger than it was with Carter. It’s just. I can’t stop thinking about her. I just want to see her, every day. I want to know her. I even think she might want the same thing.” She bit her tongue after the last confession, not entirely sure she should have said it as it sounded quit delusional to her. Luckily, her sister didn’t catch that.

“Oh Kara… You are sure!” Alex bit her lip. Not really knowing what to say. Part of her wanted to play with Kara about this but she could feel in her sister’s voice that it was something serious. “Have you guys talked? Has anything happened?” or worse “Do you know who she is?”

“We talked a little in the karaoke bar. And nothing has happened. Expect me making a fool of myself in front of her.” Kara stopped. “What do you mean who she is?”

“Well, doesn’t her last name sound familiar?”

“Oh, right. Luthor. As in Lex Luthor. Yeah, I know.” Kara was hesitant now.

“She’s his sister.” Sister!

“Oh, thank god.” Alex was even more confused now. She asked her sister how come it was a thank god her first reaction. “What? I thought she was his wife. You can’t choose siblings but a husband you can, you know?”

For an extra hour the Danvers sisters talked about what it was like, being in love, if that was what Kara was feeling at all. She didn’t quite know. She knew it was strong and she had the impression that it wasn’t going to go away that fast. They talked about the age difference and how hilarious it was that they thought Kara liked James, and they talked about how James liked Miss Luthor and how that made Kara feel.

Alex knew her sister was in love. Strangely but surely.

After her sister went to sleep, Kara, wide awake, could not sleep yet so she decided to check her emails. She had a Newspaper little work offering that seemed promising. She just wasn’t expecting how promising it really was.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm going to have to post slower. I have a bucket full of works and tests and all of those shenanigans comming up and I cannot get bad grades.  
> I will continue posting though, just not as often. I hope you guys continue in this journey with me regardless.
> 
> Much love :*

Kara would be attending a congress at the university and taking notes and then she would publish a whole page about it on the college’s Newspaper. This was a big deal for her. The bigger article she had written had been on the school’s budget cuts and staff satisfaction and both had been rather small.

The congress was going to be about Contemporary Women in Powerful Positions and Kara was ecstatic about it. She believed every woman had a little super in her and that they should be more seen and given more important and powerful jobs in the eyes of society.

Reading the plan of the assembly she started making a mental plan for herself. She was starting to formulate questions and opinions that could be appropriate.

She was intrigued by which women would be talking at the congress, she wasn’t expecting a certain name but, quite obviously, she thought, of course, it was there.

Lena Luthor. CEO of L-Corp, Teacher at Lake Hawks University, Prime investigator, Engineer of this and that.

So that was her name. Lena.

Kara said it under her breath to feel the texture of it on her tongue, loud enough that it felt real, and quiet enough not to wake her sister. It felt good. She felt it completed the name she had been calling. Lena Luthor. It had a tune to it. Kara felt like dancing to it. Humming to it. Moaning it, even. Lena.

That was it. She planned to attend the conference and face her crowd. She planned to grab that woman’s attention once again and this time she wouldn’t run. That was it.

\-------

The day of the Congress roused, bright and orange like the leaves of those trees she had admired a month or so ago. They had changed as she predicted and, just like her, some began to fall.

She signed the presence sheet and grabbed her notebook and pen, ready to begin the note-taking progress, and she sat right in the middle of the auditorium with a straight line between herself and the name she purposely searched. She wanted to be seen. She was counting on it.

The congress was enlightening, and Kara couldn’t shake the gleam in her glass hidden blue oceans. Women and Power. Those names were meant to be together. They were one.

The names were called one by one and the name Professor Lena Luthor kissed her ears like they had the night before. Lena walked to the stage followed by other three powerful women that were called after her. She was curvy and feminine. Her red and black dress was daring yet professional and her lips, matching the dress, formed a shy smile and she sat down and her eyes, those absinth drunken eyes, spotted the young blond, promising so much more.

Was that it? Or was Kara imagining things?

Lena was the personification of power and it seemed like she knew it. Her walk was confident and professional. Her stance, sensual and dominant. Her voice, painted over with an accent, was sure, intelligent and captivating.

The table had all sorts of women in all sorts of powerful and meaning careers talking passionately about their journeys and accomplishments and giving all the eager young students, especially young girls, real advice about business, career, effort, and sacrifice.

Kara was writing everything she could. Taking all the notes she was capable of. And when there was a pause, she’d make slight notes on Lena’s characteristics. How she stood or if he shook her foot or which ticks and mannerisms she had, her gestures, her looks. Kara counted the times Lena looked at her. Every look was like a blow of fresh air on a hot summer afternoon. Like a slap of reality.

Lena first noticed Kara at the door. Lena had already sat down and happened to have looked that way as if something had called her, which reminded her of that lunch break a couple of weeks ago. She felt something calling her. Someone. And had seen who it was. It was the same person who called her then and now. The same ocean eyes who had sung to her.

Interesting…

So, Kara counted. One, two, three, ten, seventeen, twenty-four… Something was being spoken between the two women and Kara could not exactly understand what it was. A coded message she had still to figure out and discover.

Lena had talked about her upcoming in quantum physics and engineering and about the courses she had to have done and what obstacles someone who wanted to do the same might face.

This woman was amazing. Kara was completely swayed on her words of wisdom and on her story. She couldn’t help herself. She remembered a good question to ask and when the time to ask the questions finally appeared, Kara took her chance.

“Any questions for our strong women in the table? Feel free to ask.” Said the moderator.

Kara was the first to raise her hand.

“Yes, miss?” Kara stood up and grabbed the microphone that was quickly handed to her, with her eyes on the short-haired woman that picked her to speak.

“Hello, my name is Kara Danvers and I’m with the University’s Newspaper.” The young girl’s eyes drifted to the red-lipped woman standing next to the moderator. “My question is for Professor Lena Luthor.”

Lena’s eyes widened with pleasure. She was glad this blonde woman showed interest in her, just like she had thought she had. She bit her lip oh so slightly.

“I’m all ears.” Said Lena, straightening her back even more, not leaving Kara’s blue eyes for a second.

“What was it like to prosper and fight in a predominantly dominated male industry and come out as successful as you are today?” She remained on her feet, with the notebook in one hand and the pen in the other, although she wasn’t planning on writing anything. She just wanted to listen.

“Good question, Miss Danvers.” Lena looked around the auditorium just to break the staring contest, but quickly returned to the eyes she had left. “As you can imagine, it wasn’t easy. Men are competitive. When they aren’t avoiding working with women, they’re competing against them. Luckily, I found every type of man in my fields, and of course, not all of them are like this.” She gestured with her hands “But at least for me, that didn’t discourage me. I came from a family of smart and driven men that challenged me from moment one, so I suppose I was used to it.”

Everyone was silent listening to this woman’s words as if they were an enchantment.

“The key is persistence and commitment.” She smiled a little brighter. “If we believe and want something, for as hard or as unpredictable, or even for as strange or unexpected it is, we can get it.” She looked around again. “It takes sacrifice, it takes challenges, it takes sweat and tears.” She found Kara’s eyes once more. “It takes bravery and desire.” Kara bit her lip, grinning at the same time. “But when a woman commits when we commit. It’s real. And it can conquer worlds.” Her head ducked down, and she fixed the hair that escaped her ear. “So, I can say it was hard. But it was the best thing I have ever done.”

A loud applause filled the auditorium and Lena laughed and smiled shyly gesturing ‘stop’ with her hands.

Kara remained standing and looking at Lena and at that moment she knew she had toppled helplessly into love with her.

At the end of the conference, Lena left the room and Kara rushed to try to find her not quite sure why yet. Lena moved fast so when Kara found her, she was already near the orange trees. Kara forced herself to go and congratulate the woman. Her legs were unsteady.

“Miss Luthor!” Kara called. Lena turned to look at her.

“Oh, miss Danvers, hello again.” Lena had surprise on her voice. “Can I help you with anything?” Kara fixed her glasses and smiled.

“Oh, no. I just wanted to congratulate you on your words back there. They were truly inspiring.” She did it. “It really made me want to know more about you.” Lena’s left eyebrow raised in enjoyment. Her lips curved up and her head followed the motion.

Oh my god Shoot!

“For the Newspaper!” She quickly corrected herself. “For the um-” she gulped and looked around her, anywhere expect Lena’s eyes. “the article… they asked…” Kara’s words were slow, trying to hide her quick heartbeat. She couldn’t believe she had just said that.

Lena was amused by that and opening her smile, she said over a slightly higher pitch shaken by laughter.

“Well, thank you miss Danvers.” She looked at the silver clock her wrist carried. “Right now I have to go, but if you want we can schedule a meeting over coffee or tea to discuss more.”

Kara was caught by surprise.

“Ye-Yes, of course!” Her mouth was partially open in a small O shape. She didn’t know quite how to react. “It’s a date!” Oh my god, Kara again??? Her eyes flew open in obvious regret.

Lena laughed. She found this sight cute and hilarious. Kara’s nervousness was obvious.

“Alright, Miss Danvers. See you soon.” She turned, chuckled and left the younger woman grabbing her own bag as if it were a much-needed oxygen can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, on my original doccument where I write the fanfiction, I use italic to highlight the thoughts of the characters but it doesnt show up here so I'm sorry. I hope it's understandable anyway


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm back. I missed writing and posting. University has been taking too much time and I really could not find time nor mental space to write. but AT LAST I HAVE RETURNED.
> 
> Hope you guys like this chapter. Next one is going to have kara and lena interacting more again, so stay put if ya want to.

Kara’s breathing was somewhat uneven; mismatched as the dancing of the windblown, loose leaves around her. There she stood for two minutes more. 30 seconds after Lena entered the car that arrived for her and left. There she noticed Lena’s curves with more ease, saw them move as her weight was carried from feet to feet as she walked away. She looked back at Kara only during the second the car took to pass by her. Kara could tell Lena’s walk was somewhat lazy. Perhaps delayed by tiredness, perhaps by reluctance. That made Kara want to take her in her arms and carry her wherever Lena needed to go with such hurry. It made her wonder if she could, in fact, do just that. It made her want to work out.

She knew she had a proud smile on. Her eyes glimmered like the ocean at noon as she stood there, half dreaming. She had run after this woman expecting nothing, a simple unplanned conversation exchange, a soft congratulation, and yet she had gotten so much more in return. A promise of a further moment. An addition of another meeting between the two. Lena’s will to even have that other encounter.

This dream-like state was interrupted by the common ring of the phone. Kara shook her head and took the phone out from her jeans’ back pocket to read ‘Alex’ on the screen. She pressed and dragged the green circle and took it to her ear.

“Kara?” She heard her sister call.

“Hey Alex! You will not believe what just happened!” Her voice was higher with excitement. She looked ahead at the pastel pink sky.

“Someone sounds cheerful! But hey, I saw you running. You passed by me in a hurry.”

Kara’s eyes opened wide, but her smile wouldn’t leave her lips. “Oh, where? I didn’t see you! I was on a mission, one might say…” She threw her bag on her shoulder.

“Yeah, it seemed like it.” Alex chuckled. “Hey, are you at practice already?” Kara’s jaw fell. She looked at the clock on her phone and shouted:

“OH MY GOD PRACTICE! See you later Alex!” The call was ended, and Kara turned back in a hurry, completely shoving Lena’s form to the back of her mind and sprinted to the gymnasium. She had totally forgotten she had practice today.

\------------

At the training, Kara seemed distracted and even though she scored four times already, the team-mates could tell. One of the other girls called her out and she apologized.

Today’s practice was two hours long, to compensate the lost hour from last week which had been canceled. The gymnasium was almost the size of a soccer field, one of the many benefits of the gigantic university, so it was being shared by the boys’ basketball team as well on the second hour. They usually had practice later than the girls.

As the girls played, the boys started to enter and crossed the girl’s field playfully, interrupting their game.

Kara spoke up about it, in a weary but jubilant tone. “Hey, come on, that’s not fair!” She grabbed the ball holding it between her hips and her wrist. “We had a good game going.”

“We just wanted to say hello to the ladies, of course!”

Kara recognized the deep voice that followed her comment. She turned around to find James coming to her. “James? You’re on the basketball team?”

“Hey Kara, I thought Winn had mentioned it!” He dribbled his own ball in front of her, winking at one of the girls looking at him. Kara saw the opportunity and took the ball from him and dribbled from hand to hand in a defiant way.

“He didn’t. He only mentioned boxing and the photography studio.” He tried to take the ball back, but she dodged it with confidence.

He ducked the back of his head down and smiled, hiding a hint of shame which made the girls laugh quietly and some of his guy friends yell deep ‘woos’ and ‘oohs’.

“Well, yeah. What can I say…? I guess I’m a talented guy.” He shrugged the shame off as if it were light dust on his shoulders.

“Ooh, you sure must be.” Kara looked from head to toe and then to his eyes again. “Just not quite at basketball, by the looks of it.” She took three steps, dodging his block and shot.

The tall man could not, however, dodge the obvious defeat in this uncalled and unorganized one on one match.

“Alright, alright, maybe not.” He confessed as Kara turned around, making her ponytail flow from one shoulder to another. “But I must have some value. I’m going to be playing at the college’s competition in a month. I think the women play too on a separate court or day, I’m not sure.’

Hearing that the coach, who happened to be standing fairly close to James, took the chance to announce this exactly. He blew his little blue whistle.

“Alright, gentlemen let’s let the ladies pass. Team, come closer please.” They circled around him. “I happened to eavesdrop here on mister Olsen’s conversation, and it reminded me to let you guys know that at the end of next month, we have a competition here at Lake Hawks University. This year it will be home versus the American Eagles.” The girls were attentive of the words and looked at each other with hungry eyes. Kara felt it coming and she wasn’t planning on stopping herself.

“Oooh, so many fly creatures. I hope it won’t be too ‘hawkward’ there on the field.” She said it so calmly, it almost hid the cheeky undertone. She pressed her lips together, containing a smile, ignoring some disapproving looks. “And hey, it must be a fair match. No ‘ill-eagle’ substances.” She held her laugh back, tinting her cheeks a shade of proud pink.

Her teammates rolled her eyes, some laughed, some shook their heads.

“Alright, alright Kara. Good one.” Said the coach. “Can I count on you all, ladies?” They agreed with a loud yes. “Then let’s keep playing!” And he blew his whistle again.

At the end of the practice, Kara took a little longer in the locker room and was left alone by her rushing colleges. She didn’t mind. She had her mind elsewhere. After the shower, while she was drying her hair, Alex showed up and got in, hiding something behind her back.

“Hey, I was waiting for you outside, but you were taking so long.” Kara jumped a little at the sound of her sister’s unannounced voice, but her wide eyes quickly changed expression and her sister revealed what her hands were secretly carrying.

“Ice cream!!! Alex you angel!” She ran to her sister with one hand holding the towel around her body.

“I will only give you ice cream if you tell me what happened a couple of hours ago.” Alex had an eyebrow lifted. “It’s a fair deal.”

Kara grabbed the ice cream and ate two spoons, shaking the cold in her mouth off with her head.

“I talked to Miss Luthor!” She said under a boastful grin. “That’s why I was running. I was trying to get to her.”

Alex’s eyes were the ones who were wide but with curiosity now. “Oh, good! How did it feel? How was it?” She still had her doubts towards her little sister’s feelings, even though she completely understood them. Even she was a little baffled by the woman’s looks. A Luthor or not, the woman had charm.

Kara turned around to put on her bra. “It felt great. I don’t know what came over me. It was a little awkward too if I’m being honest” She then put on her pink shirt and turned around, with her hands on the buttons, fitting each in their specific holes. Alex was licking her ice cream full spoon. “I think I told her I wanted to get to know more about her without meaning to… Even though I meant it…” She seemed to shrink at the memory of her coy suggestion.

“No way!” They heard steps on the corridor. Alex’s voice lowered a little. “What did she say?”

The blonde girl finished dressing up and tied her white shoelaces. “She kind of asked me out for coffee or tea, as she said. To, you know, talk more.”

Alex was incredulous. “For real?” Kara answered with a humming sound. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen her saying yes to dates or going out or anything like that really. Winn told me James has been trying to go out with her for a year or something and nothing. Did you know that?” She knew.

“Indeed, he made sure to tell me not that long ago. But yeah, after she told me that you won’t believe what I answered. Like a fool, I might add.”

“Oh god. What?”

“I said loud and clear ‘It’s a date’.” Her eyebrows were raised at the center pulled by mixed emotions. Shame. Pride. Blissfulness.

“Kara! You didn’t.” The younger sister shook her head yes. “What did she say? She ate a little more ice cream, got her stuff and walked to the door with her older sister by her side.

“She said alright and that she would see me soon.” Kara’s grin was unstoppable. As they passed the men’s locker room’s door, right after the one they had just left, the redhead said:

“Well, who would’ve guessed. You’re actually going on a date with Miss Luthor!”

Kara ducked her head down and fixed her glasses with her free hand and that phrase seemed to fill her surroundings with a sweet air. But that moment was quickly cut short by a choleric and hostile tone.

“You’re going on a date with Lena?”


	16. Chapter 16

James’ bass voice was harsh and insolent, as if what he heard personally offended him. He noticed his tone and stopped it with a confused smile.

“Are you for real?”

Alex and Kara both turned around to look at him. Their cheers and giggles turned to sour seriousness. None of them liked the tone he used. But they chose to deem it a little envy explosion.

Did he call her Lena…? Kara didn’t like the taste of the woman’s name on his tongue.

“Miss Luthor” she underlined “and I scheduled a meeting.” She was defensive.

“Why?” His dark skin and black eyes had a shade of envy-green.

“Probably for the newspaper, James. But it’s not quite our business anyway…” Alex intervened, not quite sure why she was justifying this.

James’ stance was set back a little, but he forced himself to continue walking. And so, did Kara and Alex.

“Oh right. I thought I heard you two were going on a date. I must have heard it wrong. But anyway, she’s not like that.”

Alex instantly knew what he meant by that. “She’s not like what exactly?” She stopped walking and turned to him.

“You know. A lesbian or something. Not that I have anything against gay people, of course. I have a ton of gay friends.” Alex’s eyebrow was raised, and Kara’s arms were folded against her chest. “You’re gay Alex. And I dig you.”

“Right.” Said Alex as Kara rolled her eyes.

“What I mean is, she’s just not into girls. Plus, she’s quite older than you.” He looked at Kara.

As they left the building, James continued rambling about all the possible reasons Lena would not actually go on a date, an official date with anyone but himself, and after fighting for a little, the girls turned to agree with him with mockery filled ‘hmhm’s’ and they parted ways.

Two days later, on a Saturday, after a busy day planning an interview, she was not quite sure when would happen, Kara felt her stomach growl and she didn’t have any food in her dorm. Alex was out on a date with Maggie, which the blonde slightly envied. Not Maggie or anything more, simply the officiality of the name ‘date’ between the two love birds. So, Kara decided to go out to eat.

The restaurants and bars nearest the university were full of laughing and gleaming students, taking drinks and burgers to their mouths. She didn’t feel like sharing that space with them. So, she looked somewhere else.

She remembered the Karaoke bar served dinners, so she made her way there.

At the bar she sat down. A quick employer wrote down her order and told her the food would be ready in about 15 minutes. She nodded yes, thanked and after the employer left her table, she got up to go to the bathroom.

Inside the parted bathroom, she heard a shy cry. Almost indistinct to the unfocused ear. But not to Kara’s. She felt worry over whoever was inside. The stall was closed so Kara knocked on the door twice.

“Hey, are you okay?” She made sure to have closed the door that opened to the rest of the bar, allowing them some privacy.

The other person stopped her cry and took a second to answer.

“Ye-yes. Thank you.” A sniff was heard. The voice, even though it was bathed in tears and a throat knot was recognizable.

“Are you sure? I know you’re crying.” Kara laid her hand flat on the door. “Can I help?” She didn’t want to assume who this was and quite frankly, the notion of recognition unsettled her. Made her stomach tingle with nervousness, not with hunger.

The toilet was flushed, and the woman blew her nose quickly. Kara took a step back and the door was unlocked. One, two, three steps filled the silenced toilet and the door opened to reveal a form Kara knew and had admired completely two days ago. Lena was looking down at the floor, perhaps to hide her misty green eyes now surrounded by red and moist.

The sight of sad emeralds made Kara’s own eyes start to burn.

“Miss Luthor!” Her voice was surprised but sweet.

“Hello miss Danvers.” She sniffed again, lightly touching the paper to her nose as she came closer to the sink to wash her hands.

“Are you okay?” Kara asked again. Hoping for a more honest response now.

“I will be. Thank you for your worry.” Lena smiled tenderly. She seemed smaller as if something were weighing her down, pushing her shoulders to the ground.

“Miss Luthor… Could I help you in any way?” Kara bit her lip trying to contain her worry and her need to reach for this woman’s shoulder or hand.

“No, Miss Danvers. Don’t worry about me. Go back to your friends. They must be waiting for you.” Lena was looking down to her hands. Washing them calmly.

“I’m alone today. Really, can I help?” Kara took a step forward.

“No karaoke tonight? The bar really liked you last time.” Lena faced Kara with the help of the mirror in front of her. It seemed easier to face the younger woman through a hard-looking glass than to look her in the eyes without anything separating them.

Kara smiled. “Thank you. But no. Today it’s just me.” Lena turned around and Kara’s hands held each other. She was afraid she might actually reach for Lena if they were free. “What about you?”

“I’m alone too.” The smile on the smaller woman faded.

“Well, then. Have you eaten?” Kara’s kindness was overflowing through her. She hoped she wasn’t stepping on any limits…

“Not yet. I meant to, but then I got a call…” Lena bit her tongue. She leaned on the toilet’s sink and folder her arms gently. Sadness left her mouth like thin liquid. “…And I came here.”

Kara was frowning. She didn’t like seeing Miss Luthor like this. It stirred in her a sort of maternal side she hadn’t felt before.

“Have dinner with me then.”

The invitation surprised Lena. Her eyes turned from sad and red to an alluring deep shade of green. Her pupils dilated and made Kara blush.

“Okay, why not? But only if you sing after.” She was daring. An eyebrow lifted in amusement, slowly fighting whatever was weighing her.

“If that’s your wish. So, it shall be.” Kara smiled and fixed her glasses.

“Alright miss Danvers.” Lena straightened herself and passed through the younger woman and, opening the door and looking forward, she said: “It’s a date.”

Kara’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She was completely caught off guard. Lena remembered what she had said and used it against her in such a classy way. Kara’s belly was rumbling, and her knees gave in. She leaned over to the wall to catch herself without being too obvious.

This woman… She knows how to work her way.

Kara followed Lena out of the WC and gently touched her back as she passed by her, directing her to the seat she had left five minutes before and there they sat.

“Have you ordered?” Lena asked grabbing the menu.

“I have yes.” Kara kept her eyes on the other woman’s facial features. The most beautiful she has ever seen. “It’s your turn. I’ll call the waiter.” And she broke the focus she had on the woman to find the employer and call him. Lena ordered her dinner and the waiter left them to be alone.

There was an expectant silence between the two for a couple of seconds. It wasn’t awkward. It was actually quite comfortable. But both of them wanted to break it.

But where to begin?

“So…” they each said at the same time.

That made them share a giggle.

The perfect ice breaker.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehehehh FINALLYYYY

“Go on,” Kara said in between giggles.

Lena’s lip corners were weighing down but not by the sadness that still surrounded her inside, it was by timid amusement. A contained little smile.

“I was going to ask you what you were studying. I haven’t seen you in any of my classes.” Lena’s hands were quiet upon the table. One above the other. Her phone on her right, with the screen, turned down.

“I’m taking Journalism. First year.” Kara’s hands, on the other hand, were fidgeting with a paper tissue.

“First year? You’re a baby yet!” Lena’s words were sweet as if indeed she were talking to a toddler.

“I’m not a baby. I’m an adult.” Kara fixed her glasses and frowned.

“How old are you miss Danvers?”

“I’m eighteen.” Was Kara slightly deepening her voice?

“Hmm, I thought you were older, but indeed you are.” Lena looked down to her hands and back up again. “An adult, I mean.” The waiter brought their drinks. A cold lemonade for Kara and an apple cider for Lena.

Kara felt slightly embarrassed by her age, wishing she were a little older to be at Miss Luthor’s level. She sat up straighter in her chair, making apparent their size difference as she stirred her drink with the green straw.

“And what about you Miss Luthor. How old are you?”

“If you had to guess, what age would you give me?” There was a question no one ever wanted to be asked…

“I mean, I read you had all of these PhDs and Diplomas… I’m guessing you must be between 26 and 30.” She hoped she wasn’t too far off.

Lena smiled and fixed her hair. “That’s right! I’m 27...” She looked around the bar and came closer to the table ready to share something she clearly didn’t want anyone else hearing. “…today.”

Kara’s eyes flew open and she swallowed the bittersweet liquid. “Today’s your birthday?!” Her hands splashed on the table making a loud noise.

“Shhhh!” Kara’s hands were quick on her mouth. “Don’t yell! Nobody knows.” Said Lena, taking a sip of her own drink.

“No way.” The younger girl didn’t believe it. “Nobody knows?” She repeated and Lena nodded from side to side. “What- why? Birthdays are so good and fun and exciting!” Kara lowered her voice when she noticed the waiter with their food coming. Lena looked behind her shoulder to the man as well. He placed their food ahead of them and wished them ‘Bon-Appetit’ in a fluent French accent, to which both ladies answered ‘Merci’ in unison. They both could speak French, a thing they had in common, Kara could not ignore it.

“And they can be, I’m sure.” They grabbed their silverware. “Just not quite when you’re a Luthor.” Lena’s little smile deemed, and she took the fork to her mouth. Kara frowned once again and stared at the pink lips in front of her and then at lake green eyes, no longer surrounded by red as they had been in that bathroom.

“Oh. I’m sorry… But why?” The blonde woman felt her hand leave the knife she was holding to reach for the other woman’s arm, but she stopped herself. They didn’t know each other that well yet. Not just yet.

“I assume you know of my brother, miss Danvers.” Lena gently tapped her mouth with the tissue paper and took another sip.

“Yes. Lex Luthor. I think my sister told me about him not that long ago.” There was a hint of worry on the younger girls’ voice.

“Well, his historic isn’t great, obviously. Let’s just say the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.”

“What do you mean? If I might ask, of course.”

“My father, his name was Lionel, made some pretty bad choices as well.” Lena broke her train of thought for a moment as if she were recapitulating memories behind her green eyes, and Kara took the chance to repeat the work ‘was?’.

“Yes. He got himself killed because of them…” The air shifted around them. Lena was impressed at how she was sharing this with this girl she barely even knew. How foolish of her, she thought. “But anyway, that’s not the story for now. I don’t mean to upset you with family drama.” She smiled and took another bite of her food.

“Oh, not at all, Miss Luthor.” Kara reached for the older woman’s exposed arm before she could contain herself. She needed to touch her. Reassure her that this was okay. “You’re not upsetting me, I’m all ears.”

Lena looked at the hand on her arm for a second too long, which made Kara retract her wild limb and hold it under her leg as punishment.

“You’re a kind young woman, Miss Danvers.” Kara looked down and retrieved her disciplined hand to fix her glasses and she looked at Lena again, expectant. “I was saying that my father and my mother – well, adoptive mother, if we’re being clear – were also bad seeds. Not as bad as Lex, I believe that is almost impossible to achieve, but close. Especially my mother, Lillian.” She took another sip to disguise the taste of bitterness and spite in her words. “So, they didn’t really do fun birthdays. Unless Lex wanted a big party, of course…”

Kara felt sad but couldn’t help but notice another connection between the two. Both had been adopted. Only Kara had been lucky. “Did they treat you differently?”

“Yes. But the person who made me feel most welcome in the family was Lex, actually.” Lena’s gaze was on Kara’s hands now on the table, but she wasn’t really seeing them at all. “He was nice to me. As unbelievable as that sounds.”

“It doesn’t sound unbelievable to me.” Of course, it didn’t. Seeing Lena talk about this, watching her mouth move, her hands unsettle, her body’s movements trying to adjust itself on the uncomfortable couch, hearing her voice slightly crack at these people’s names and seeing the shine of her absinthe eyes. How could anyone not be nice or kind to this woman?

Lena smiled at Kara’s comment. She believed her.

“He used to be a nice boy; you know.” Lena contracted one of her cheek muscles and Kara, without thinking about it, did the same. “We used to play chess and I used to help him on his projects, and he helped me on mine.”

Kara’s smile was endearing and sweet.

“What happened?”

Lena looked to her side, searching for the answer. “I don’t know. One day he snapped and became obsessed with this one guy. You probably know the rest.” She did.

“I’m really sorry, Miss Luthor.” Kara felt apologetic. “I’m sure something went wrong with him. Maybe his brain chemistry wasn’t well or maybe it was phycological. But one thing I am sure of.”

Lena returned her emerald green gaze to the ocean blue eyes of the blonde woman in front of her.

“What is that?”

Kara took a sip of her drink and said: “I am sure that he cared for you deeply.”

“Miss Danvers…” Lena took a deep breath. “You really are kind. Luthors usually don’t get this much kindness in a day.”

Kara laughed. “Aw come on. I’m sure you get all sorts of sweet words on a daily.” She blushed.

“No… Not really.” She straightened her back and shook her hands slightly. “But enough about me! What about you, miss Danvers, tell me about your family. You mentioned a sister.”

Kara finished chewing the food she had taken to her mouth and, with her mouth half full yet, she covered it with her hand and said: “Oh, yes, I do! Her name is Alex Danvers. She’s majoring in Medicine in the third or fourth year here.”

“I think I know her. Does she have deep red, short hair?

“Yes exactly! How do you know her?”

“She was my student for two years in advanced biology. A great head, that one. She has true potential.”

Kara was delighted to know this, somehow her sister must have forgotten to mention it. Lena paid attention to her students individually. That, to Kara, seemed truly sweet and impressive.

“Yeah, she’s a smarty pants.” Lena laughed along with her. “She’s actually my step-sister like Lex was to you.”

That seemed to catch Lena’s attention on a different level.

“Different mother?” Lena asked.

“Different parents! I was adopted too.” Kara said it as if it weren’t a big deal. She was used to telling this story. But something in Lena unveiled in Kara the new desire to tell the story differently from what she had always told. It made her want to tell Lena the truth. Offer Lena the honesty she had given Kara. But again, she was aware that they didn’t really know each other. That it might be too much just yet. She wasn’t sure what to do and her mind was running. She hoped Lena couldn’t tell.

“Really? And how was the family that adopted you?” Lena had made the right call in dodging Kara’s origins for now. She knew it was too soon. She had other plans. Perhaps out of respect. Perhaps to keep the mystery that promised more.

And so, until the end of the meal, Kara told Lena about her adoptive mother and father and how great they were. She told her about the morning cookies Eliza used to bake the Danvers sisters and about his father and mother’s work as scientists, which Lena was pleased to discover. Kara told her about Alex and their hard upbringing but how at the end, they had become better than sisters.

Lena seemed interested in the young woman’s tales of happy families, she didn’t know better than her own, so hearing this girl talk about it with such a gleam in her eyes made Lena feel warm. She could feel Kara’s love exude from her with such strength and light. This was foreign to her.

She wanted to know more.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this oneeeee

The bar was darker by the time the two ladies finished their meal and their drinks. Their clothes’ color had been slightly darkened and altered by the weak neon and warm lights. The light reflected in Kara’s glasses and highlighted her shiny blue eyes. Lena took a longer look at them every opportunity she had.

They ordered dessert, well, Kara did. Lena didn’t seem to have a big appetite.

“Are you sure you don’t want a bit of this goodie?” Kara’s eyebrows were high on her forehead. She took the fork to her mouth and pushed the plate forward a little bit.

Lena smiled and waved ‘no’ with her hand. She watched Kara eat the dessert with a sweet look on her eyes. They felt strangely comfortable around each other, which was unexpected having in mind that Kara was sweating profusely under her baby-blue sweater.

Kara was trying her best not to be clumsy or make anything less ‘grown-up’. A part of her, a big part of her, wanted to impress this woman. Kara wanted Lena to see her as the adult she could be.

“Miss Luthor, about that meeting you mentioned a couple of days ago” Kara finished her dessert. “I don’t know if you remember.” Lena smiled.

“I remember.” She moved slightly on her seat.

“Right.” The younger woman blushed and thanked the stars the lights were deemed. Lena Luthor was in front of her. She looked so good under these lights. Her eyes had a different shade of green in them. They didn’t seem quite real. But here she was, talking to the woman who made her drop her tray in the lunchroom and who she had been thinking about during the nights. Who she had had in mind when she had been touching herself on the nights Alex slept out. And she had no idea of this. She felt guilty.

Focus Kara!

“Yes, um… Well, I was wondering if we could schedule a meeting so I can interview you for the Newspaper. If you’d be willing to accept it.” She smiled at Lena who sat up leaning against the couch.

“Well, sure. I’d be delighted to.” Something puzzled Lena though. “By why do you want to interview me?”

Oh god. Why?

“I just think you should have a whole article written about you. I mean, you’re the most accomplished 27-year-old I know.” That made Lena smile, genuinely.

“Well, thank you miss Danvers.” She stopped for a second and bit her lip almost indistinctively. “You are really kind, you know?” And some more daring words left her before she could think twice. “Your adoptive family was lucky to have you.”

Kara’s head tilted to one side and she fixed her glasses. She almost couldn’t believe the sweetness in Lena’s voice. It was also covered by a dusky cloud. An overflowing sadness that seemed to have taken over Lena again, returning to her features the same weight she had in that bathroom.

Kara felt the need to do something. It was Lena’s birthday. She wasn’t planning on letting this blue prevail.

She spotted the bar’s old billiard table. Nobody was using it.

Bingo.

“Miss Luthor, your family was lucky too.” She returned the green eyes a smile. “They just failed to understand how lucky they were.”

Lena felt those words like a slap on her cheek. But not the kind of slaps her mother used to give her as a child for her defiant intelligence or stubborn pout. This felt better. Not like a slap at all, actually. It felt sweet and warm, like a loving hug. Exactly. It was a sweet, warm, loving verbal hug. Her words were stolen from her. She just looked at Kara, baffled by this long gone feeling.

“Come on.” Kara left her seat and got up holding her hand out to Lena. “What do you say to a friendly pool match?” Kara’s hair, long and tinted pink and orange by the bar’s light was loose on her shoulders and back. It framed her face like a masterpiece.

Lena hesitated. “Oh, I don’t know. I haven’t played in such a long time.”

“They do say it is just like riding a bike.” She tilted her head. “You never really forget how it is done...” She bit her lip, expectant.

Lena seemed to ponder. Two seconds, three seconds…

“Alright, let’s do it.” And she grabbed Kara’s hand, stood up and they let go of their hands.

Kara instantly missed the shape of her hand. She barely got to feel its weight on her own. She unintentionally wished she’d be able to hold it again soon.

They made their way to the pool table and as Lena set all the balls in their right positions and took out two cues Kara hopped eagerly.

“Ooh hold on! There’s a jukebox!” She made her way to it, picked a song called S.L.U.T. by Bea Miller and returned to the snooker table loosely dancing.

Lena’s eyes flickered open and she lifted her head from the colorful balls, still bent over the deep green table. She found Kara cute and witty. Her excitement was contagious, and she found herself tapping her foot on the hardwood floors.

The bartender danced too and, between background music and waves, middle ground shots and screams of triumph and foreground giggles and looks, Kara and Lena had fun that night. The blonde woman drank a sweet caipiblack and the brunette sipped the famous ‘sex on the beach’ as they made their ways around the table. Gwen Stefani’s Sweet Escape made the girls sing a little too, in the same of the ‘00s.

“Is that good?” Kara asked one time Lena passed by her.

“What? The taste of victory?” Lena’s voice sounded victorious; she was winning by three balls.

Lena teased not only with her deep green eyes or her Irish accent but also with her walk, her stance, like a model on a known passarelle.

“Ha-ha. Very funny.” Kara was learning how to play that game. “I meant the drink.”

“Do you want a taste?”

Of you? Yes.

Lena came closer and turned the pink straw toward Kara’s lips. She thought she could see the younger woman’s lips tremble as they opened to surround the tip of the plastic.

Kara’s knees couldn’t handle much more. The drink tasted fruity, strong in orange, but the vodka couldn’t be ignored. It was strong. It made her spine shiver and the hairs in the back of her neck stand. Her tongue salivated but she played it cool.

“So?” Lena’s stance was slightly tilted, her head moving to find the answer. “Did you like it?”

Kara chuckled and shook her hands. “Yes. It’s a bit strong for me though.” She said.

“Let me taste yours.” Kara obeyed and reached for her dark drink, offering it to Lena, who drank a sip like it was thin water. “So sweet!” She returned to the game. “Fits well.” She mumbled under her breath.

They played the rest of the match and Kara gave Lena her well-deserved victory, applauding her at the end as she watched the older woman take a small bow.

Lena checked her clock. 23:36 it read.

“Wow, we have been here for some time.”

“I didn’t even feel the time pass!” Kara tidied up the pool gear.

“Neither did I.” Lena sipped the last bit of her drink and returned her gaze to the girl in the blue sweater. “You still owe me that song you promised.” Lena probably wouldn’t have said this if the alcohol weren’t kicking in. Kara was unaware of the two glasses of whiskey Lena had had before Kara found her in the bathroom, and, being the lightweight she is, even with food on her stomach, she had to admit the lights seemed blurrier and brighter by now. “I’m not leaving till I get it.”

Kara turned red at the tone in Lena’s voice. So dominant and determined. She couldn’t say no.

Kara shrugged and her hands lifted in front of her shoulders. “A promise is a promise.” Kara took to the stage and Lena followed, sitting in one of the dark brown chairs. “But only because today is a special day.”

Kara scrolled, once again, through the tablet’s list and tapped twice on the perfect song for this moment.

‘Night go slow’ by Catey Shaw.

She always felt better when she was singing.

‘When you take my hand, there is no time. Every moment that passes by with you I wish I could rewind…’

Her feelings came through clearer.

‘It feels like we are the only two people that left in town…’

And tonight was the perfect night for this song.

‘When we are here alone something inside you shows…’

And although Lena’s vision was already blurry, she understood the message clearly.

‘Doesn’t the night go slow?’


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes I had a bit of a crisis on the making of this chapter. I got really confused on how I wanted to continue and which paths I wanted the story to take but I think I have figured it out.  
> Tell me what you think of this chapter and if you like getting to see a little more of Lena's perspective!

Lena paid the taxi car’s bill after it dropped Kara off and then herself. It was 00:16 by the time Lena entered her house.

Her home was a 10-minute drive from the university. 15 from the karaoke bar Lena used to go to. She wasn’t going to let the young woman walk back to the dorm at that time of the night, so she had offered to share the taxi with her. The girl had refused at first, but Lena reassured her it wasn’t any trouble and that she was headed the same way anyway.

Lena’s house was futuristic. Sharp outdoors edges and shapes, conjugated with curved shiny forms. Big windows covered many walls allowing the clean-cut view of her terrace maintained to perfection by experienced gardeners.

The first thing Lena noticed as she closed her door was the shine in the living room’s ceiling. The water’s reflection of her backyard pool – neon blue and white. The second thing she noticed was how dry her mouth felt. She was dehydrated.

She took off her shoes and made her way to the kitchen feeling the cold underneath her feet as a much-desired shock. She grabbed a glass of water and dragged her tired shoes to the living room. She sat on the couch for a little to relax. But the one thing her mind didn’t do was relax. Still impacted by the drinks she had had, her thought process, now even more delayed by sleep, seemed to ramble and continuously go back to the gentle fingers on the bathroom door. The contaminating smile and blue topaz eyes that had looked at her and seemed to see a Lena she hadn’t embodied in a long time.

Lena was never one to quickly open up about herself to people. She was not taught how to do that. Her family were masters deceivers and manipulators and didn’t bother showing her was actual love felt like, plus her unlucky past relationships had failed her at that as well.

However, she felt lucky to have found a couple of people in her life that were able to give her the idea of what love, true unconditional love feels like.

One of them was dead now, the other had been her childhood pet. A dog she had had with her since she had been adopted. Her father got a puppy a few months after she was welcomed in her new house. Lena had been responsible for it.

 

The dog taught Lena unconditional love and responsibility. She was devastated when the dog died, twelve years later, at the hands of her brother.

Now she settled on her own emotional protection by keeping people at arms-length.

Just maybe, not tonight.

Lena had received a call from her mother Lillian that left her disarmed, once again, like she used to be growing up. And she had been weak enough to let it get to her in the middle of a bar.

Foolish.

Lena knew how her alcohol intake affected her. One drink and she would be fine. Two drinks and the sadness – or if she were already feeling low that day, the depression would kick in, if it were whiskey as she took them, it would kick in faster and stronger. Three and she’d start to see things a little in slow motion, lights would start to blur and her eyes would dry. Four and the balance would leave her body, leaving her dizzy and unhinged, so to speak. Five and the paranoia episodes would take over her. She usually didn’t make it to six, she was afraid of what it could mean.

However, she wasn’t a heavy drinker. Only a few things made booze attractive to her and half of them had to do with her family.

Kara had helped her though. She let go of that sadness with a little more ease this time with this strange girl.

Lena had noticed her before in the cafeteria. She remembered the episode clearly. How clumsy, she remembered thinking. It reminded her of herself in school.

The girl was cute. Lena didn’t think anything more than that. A cute clumsy girl.

It was only at the congress Lena saw the potential in this blonde girl and, while they were exchanging looks, something Lena had made sure they did, she saw the woman in Kara take over.

She found it amusing, how the student followed her to seek more, and her choice of words, again, clumsy. It was fun for Lena. She liked the attention she received.

That wasn’t news to her. She knew she was a very beautiful woman and she behaved accordingly. She knew some of her students felt attracted to her exactly by that reason. That reminded her of James. The sophomore had been trying to invite her out for two years now. But she wasn’t interested. She wasn’t interested in anyone, really. And neither did she feel ready to have any relationship. Not after how broken the last one had left her.

Plus, she felt they didn’t actually know her. Most flustered students asked her about her brother. She heard some conversations of those who had taken a step back after realizing who she really was.

The legacy of her surname haunted her. She struggled to be someone out of her last name. She felt stuck with it and in it.

She recalled her attempts to alienate herself from the weight of her name. Renaming her family’s company after Lex had been sent to prison. Help persecute her mother and testify against her publicly as well. She felt better after doing so. She wanted nothing more but the good to prevail. Yet some people still took her for another evil Luthor. Or for a threat or someone untrustworthy. That shattered her.

But that was one thing that surprised her in Kara. She didn’t seem bothered or surprised at the revelation of her connection to Lex.

She had made it a habit to tell people who weren’t aware that she was his sister as a protection strategy. The sooner they knew, the quicker they left and the easier it was for Lena not to get close and hurt.

But Kara hadn’t even flinched, which was rather strange to Lena. All of Kara’s questions had been drifted to Lena and not her brother. They had been about her.

How strange that feels.

Lena brought herself back to her white and grey living-room and decided to go to bed. She took off her black jeans and hung the green jacket on the nearest chair. She took off her shirt and bra and grabbed her folded silk pajamas. The freshly washed rosy scent pleased her. She grabbed her phone and entered her king-sized bed.

She laid there awake for what seemed like 10 minutes. She relived tonight. Her thoughts seemed to return to the woman’s gentle fingers on the toilet door, on her back, on her arm, on her drink, on the cue, on the microphone.

She sighed. She hadn’t noticed how aware she had been of the girl’s motion. She felt silly.

That’s completely inappropriate and unprofessional.

She shook her head and turned to her side. She checked her phone. 1:25 am.

‘Jesus, so late.’ Lena’s voice cracked because of how quiet it was. To make herself heard was not only pointless but also an effort.

She closed her eyes and in the emptiness of her room, (an allegory for her heart she had underlined once), and wished for sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here have this pretty song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=juKGjUGPyHs it's really cool


	20. Chapter 20

Sunday’s morning sun beamed through Kara’s bedroom window waking her from her slumber slowly with a warm lover’s kiss.

She hummed at the touch and realized her mouth was dry. The regards of last night’s beverages. A husky good morning.

Lazily she sat, focusing her weight on her hands and then on her legs since her hands were now in a mission to find her glasses.

With the glasses on, she checked her clock. 9:30. It was rather early. The night before she hadn’t been able to sleep until around 1:30 am. She had been kept awake by an electric feel. The remains of the jukebox’s vibration, or the sugary darkness of her drink. Her mouth on Miss Luthor’s straw.

Her hands were shaking with the number of emotions they grasped. It was going slow, that night.

‘Night go slow…’

A smile grew on her lips. Light beamed from her as she pinpointed the memory of baby-green eyes on her and rhythm and melodies exuded from her.

It was all still recent and yet she looked at last night’s events just as if they were a sweet childhood memory, filled with love and endearment.

She started making a mental trail to outline last night’s memories. First, she had seen Miss Luthor’s teary eyes. A sharp pain crossed her heart and stomach then and now again. Second, they had dined together, they had talked about each other’s families with genuine interest. The older woman had paid her a kind of attention she hadn’t been expecting. A sweet and truly interested, curious yet respectful one. Reciprocal to her own.

She checked her phone and gasped loudly, opening her eyes at the sight of 5 missed calls and 12 text messages from Alex, 3 from Winn and one text from James?

“Shoot!”

She looked to her side and saw her sister’s body move weakly in the bed next to her, taking one hand to rub off the sleep in her eyes. Kara’s eyebrows were aiming upwards and her alarm was apparent. Her lips were parted and contracted aiming the opposite direction from her brows and her teeth were clenched.

“Oooh, sorry Alex….”

That seemed to wake her sister abruptly. She turned completely, faced Kara and held herself on one elbow, pointing at her sister with her free hand.

“Kara!” The grouchiness in Alex’s tone was obvious. “Where were you? I called you a million times!?”

“I know, I’m sorry” She jerked her legs off of the bed and her feet touched the ground. “I only saw them now. I think I had the phone on mute. I’m sorry!”

“I was worried! You didn’t leave a note or a message. Winn didn’t have a clue either-” She mimicked her sister and sat up as well. “I didn’t hear you come in last night.”

“I’m sorry, Alex, you’re right…” She tied her hair up. “I guess I sort of had an unexpected date. I was at the karaoke bar.”

“Oh, a date?” Alex was surprised. “Really?”

Kara smiled and rocked herself back, covering her mouth with her hands as a child does with a new secret she couldn’t yet share. She filled her lungs with air and as she was about to talk, a knock-knock jingle was heard.

Alex got up and grunted an ‘I’m coming!’. On the other side of the door, there was a professional humming mixed with an amateur whistling.

“Hey! I’m glad to see you big Danvers. How are you in this jolly morning?” She rolled her eyes. Yep. Definitely too much energy for big Danvers at this time of the day.

“Good morning Winn.” She made way for him to enter.

“Hey have you heard from Ka-” He followed the direction Alex’s finger was pointing. “Oh, Kara! You’re here. I texted you, girl.” He knew this smile of hers. “Wait, wait, wait, wait.” He looked at Alex and then at Kara again, then at Alex and then back again. “I know this fetal position.” He squinted his eyes and came closer to her. “Miss Danvers…” He took a dramatic sniff. “Who’s the guy?”

Kara let go of her knees pretending to be outraged. “What do you mean you know this position and why was it accompanied by that question?!”

Alex went to the small bathroom to brush her teeth.

“Oh come on. I know you.”

Kara raised one eyebrow demanding an explanation.

“Okay, okay. Well, for starters, every year you have a little crush on somebody.”

“No, I don’t!” Kara interrupted

“You kind of do, sis” Alex intruded, her neck and head pushed back to gaze at the two, her mouth drooling with white foam. Kara’s jaw dropped. She closed it, gusted out some air in between nervous laughs.

Winn pursed his lips and hummed a ‘hmhm’. “Second, you’re smiling wider and brighter than usual. Which is saying a lot. And third…” He looked around. “Well, I don’t really have a third…”

“That’s because there isn’t one.” She walked towards the wardrobe and started picking out the outfit of the day. “And there is no guy, Winn.” She turned her head to him, winked playfully and said: “You’re the only guy for me.”

She enjoyed that she could play with Winn like this. Their confusing upcoming had passed like calm currents. They loved each other and would forever appreciate being each other’s firsts in so many categories. But whatever happened didn’t really hurt their friendship. Sure at the beginning, it was hard for them to understand what the hell was happening, but Winn, always a charmer, (and even though he seemed a little immature at times), had been the best friend Kara could have dreamt of. He had been understanding and kind. Above it all, he was kind to her, and she had offered him kindness back. The honesty only real kindness can hold.

They had bent each other and broken certain parts. She had realized with him that men were attractive and inviting, interestingly different. They kissed well and could be secure providers if raised right. Obviously, she hadn’t been aware of this at the time but time itself had been generous enough for her to lead her to that understanding. She loved men. She loved Winn, and, if Winn weren’t such a brother to her, she could have been with him very easily.

Winn still loved Kara, romantically, and she was aware, but above it all, Winn loved their friendship and their mutual love and respect for each other. She appreciated his will to keep it normal and friendly and he appreciated her honesty and her ability to not change. He didn’t want her pity or her to love him back out of duty or only because he wanted. He loved her too much to do that. All he really wanted was for her to be happy and he knew he played a bigger part in that by being her friend. That was enough.

So these sorts of jokes and plays were a safe space. As long as they could take it, they were okay. Within limits.

“There isn’t?” He questioned again, hoping to reveal something more.

“Nope.” Said the blonde girl and she looked herself in the mirror with a plaid blue shirt held against her torso.

Alex left the bathroom to grab some clothes of her own and as she was entering the small room again, she loudly but flirtatiously said: “It’s a girl.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am interested on doing some experimentation. I'd like to know what you guys would like to see happen in this fic. Share with me your ideas and desires!


	21. Chapter 21

So for a couple of hours that morning, Kara told Winn about how she was having a crush on a teacher. Regretting the cliché leaving her mouth as much as she regretted having cut her bangs alone back in fourth grade. It sounded so dated to her if she thought about it, but at the same time, the newness of it, the fluttering butterflies in her stomach or the tiny drops of sweat forming under her armpits made it seem beautiful and acceptable.

No, it wasn’t acceptable right? 10 years a difference seemed gigantic right now. True, it would be worse if she were 10 for example, and Lena was 20.

“Ew, so gross.” She said. And Alex and Winn agreed. “But then again, if one person were 40 and the other 50 the difference wouldn’t be as big.” And she came to the conclusion that it wasn’t about how old you really were. It had little to do with that, perhaps. Other variables had a bigger part. For instance, maturity. And frequency.

“That’s true.” Winn pondered. “But are you, like, planning on doing anything? I mean, nothing against it, really. I’m all down for it.” He smirked the way only Winn does when he’s about to take one of two paths, he would either make a really dry, not funny (except to him) dad joke or a nasty, out of character, controversial remark. “Who doesn’t love two beautiful ladies getting it on, am I right?” It was the latter.

“I mean…” Alex agreed with one eyebrow raised.

“Ugh!” Kara strongly threw the hardest of her pillows at the boy and a shocked gaze at her sister. “I am not planning on doing anything!”

Alex pursed her lips unconvincingly. “Hmhm.”

“I’m NOT!”

“Kara, you have always been a little pretty ballzy about approaching people in that way. We wouldn’t be so surprised.”

“The only question is that she is in fact, a teacher. And you’re a student. Isn’t that illegal?” Winn asked, half concerned, half curious.

“First of all. There is no ‘that’. We barely know each other. We had one dinner together and it was only because we were there at the same time. It happened. It’s normal.” She was defensive without really understanding why exactly. She thought about it a few moments later in the shower. She didn’t want to create her any kind of expectations. It was delusional to think she had any chances with such a woman as Lena freaking Luthor. She didn’t even know if she wanted that chance. She didn’t know anything. Yes, Lena was beautiful and yes, she was super intelligent for what it seemed. She was kind, Kara could tell now, because of the night they had shared. And she had been wronged and mistreated, and because of that Kara had the urge to kiss her forehead and hold her close to let her know things, whatever they were, would be okay. And yes, maybe she had liked seeing Lena walk leisurely around the pool table, she had really liked seeing her bend and stand, arch her back, fold her arms, swing her deep dark brown hair over her shoulder, shining a light on a whole new part of her neck Kara had never given much thought to, yet in Lena seemed so important. And perhaps she had shaken a bit every time Lena had looked at her.

But so what? It didn’t mean anything. Kara had always been very sensitive to beauty. And perhaps she had a little crush sure. But a crush was a crush. It didn’t mean anything more.

Plus. She was a teacher. And 10 years older. And a woman. Kara couldn’t dodge that fact, just like she couldn’t dodge that it was highly unlikely Lena had any interest in women. It would be too good to be true. So Kara opted not to think much about that. Let her dream about those ivy green eyes and gentle and soft skin, she couldn’t control dreams neither those feelings. But she could not think of them like that. She could face her interest in this woman as nothing but that. And as nothing important nor possible.

She would not make efforts to be with her. It would be weird. She’s nothing but a baby. She couldn’t even get close to the immensity of Lena. CEO Lena. 27-year-old Lena…

Right?

“Second of all,” she continued “yes, it’s likely it is illegal but it doesn’t matter because it’s not that big guys!”

Winn was doubtful. Alex was that as well but also amused. “Sister, not everyone ends up having dinner and a pool game till late in the night with a teacher. I mean, she must have liked you in the slightest.”

Winn’s eyebrows arched upwards.

“Maybe, but she seemed like she really needed a good time. And I’m a nice person. Anyone would do that. It’s not that big. And it doesn’t mean any more than it does. Let’s not make a party, okay?” Who was she convincing? Alex and Winn? Herself?

“Uh, speaking of a party!” Winn grabbed the new topic quickly. “James invited us to a party next Friday. It’s in a warehouse near the river not too far from the university. I think he knows a guy that owns the place and it’s mostly going to be a college party, really.”

“Sounds a little scary.” Kara answered. “But I’m down!”

Alex also said yes, and asked if she could bring Maggie. To which Winn responded with a shake of his head and a shoulder shrug “Sure!”

“Kara, James told me he texted you with the invite.”

“Oh, right yeah. I haven’t checked my phone. Let me see.” She reached for her phone and unlocked it. She opened the messages and clicked first on Alex’s name so she could clear the inbox. Then Winn’s and then the local news’. Finally, she opened James’.

 

‘Saw u yesterday night arriving the dorm. Pretty l8 4 a gurl to walk around alone.  
There’s gonna b a party next week have u heard of it? Would b cool if you and Alex showd up. I’ll talk 2 Winn.  
I’ll walk you guys o ur room after.  
Can’t let the damsels feel distressed, after all.  
Cya in class blondie.’

 

“Yup, it’s here.”

“I’ll tell him you guys said yes.” And he left their room, giving each sister a fast hug and receiving ‘see you later, alligator’ in return.

That Saturday Kara planned the interview she wanted to do about Lena Luthor for the college newspaper and she wrote the column for the upcoming week. Truth is, focusing was rather difficult and her mind kept going to that snooker match and the taste of Lena’s fruity drink. And to Lena’s teary eyes. How sad they were. How sad they made Kara feel.

She shook her head with passion as if shaking it would shake off these intrusive thoughts.

And in that state, she spent her week. In classes, in basketball training, during lunch and dinner… She kept trying to make herself stop, unsuccessfully. The more she thought about stopping, the more she thought about what was making her not be able to stop.

“This has to stop” She’d say to herself. “You’re not a child anymore. Control yourself.”

But in the nights she allowed herself to think, otherwise, she would not be able to rest. Thinking helped her fall asleep. Some nights she thought about Lena’s sadness and how she had managed to help her deal with them for a while. That made her sleep a little more peacefully. Some nights she thought of how silly and childish and desperate she felt about herself. And so she would read, which helped. On two nights though, she let go. She let her thoughts ramble and fall on Lena’s curves, and she allowed herself to feel her own curves as if they were hers. And she experimented the pleasure the same woman had brought her to. She searched for it half self-conscious half unrestricted, letting herself come close o the abyss. But then her thoughts ran further down and she stopped and slept and hated the woman for not leaving her mind.

How strange that was, to love and to hate so easily someone you did not quite know. How confusing it was.

Friday night arrived at a slow pace and Kara was more than ready to feel loud music running through her and to sing along to whatever radio song would play. She was yearning for dance and craving a drink that wasn’t water, milk or soda.

She and Alex met Winn, James, and Maggie in the students’ gigantic hall and headed to the party in Maggie’s car, but first, they made a stop at the Karaoke bar that happened to be on the way. They started the party right then and there with a round of tequila shots, except for Maggie, the assigned driver.

“Let’s get WASTED!” Winn screamed and they all cheered. They licked the salt, downed the honey shaded liquid and took a bite of their limes, making funny expressions and shaking their hands due to the acid stinging their tongues.

Kara was ecstatic. She was ready to have some real, old fashioned college fun and get a grip of the moment.

They stayed there for an hour before actually going to the warehouse. They sang, starting a tradition that would hold for years, Karaoke parties before actual parties. They laughed, telling each other funny stories of their past experiences with alcohol. Well, James, Alex, and Maggie told the stories. Kara and Winn had little experience yet, but they were ready to begin today.

Another two rounds of shots were asked for and this time they were one with white vodka and then the other with a mystery mix, the house’s special. It was sweet, that pleased Kara. 

After the bar, they went straight to the warehouse. They were laughing at a story James had been telling about his failed attempt at dancing in a stage. All he said, as a conclusion to the story was ‘I was pretty drunk guys. At least I got a couple bucks in my belt.’ None of them were surprised that he had stripped at least once in his life. He sure had a body that most girls and women would give bucks to (and for). 

Kara could feel her pulse in her ears, or was it the music from the warehouse? It was loud, that it was. She was understanding she was a lightweight, but that wasn’t going to stop her. If anything she felt more comfortable and open to go in, despite the shady and sketchy look it had.

She took a couple of sips of the small water bottle she had brought with her, finishing it and tossing it in the trashcan beside her. She came back to the front of the warehouse and held Winn’s arm and the group approached the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, college has been really hard and time consuming, I haven't been able to write as much as I wish I could. Today I managed to have a couple of hours with inspiration so I wrote (instead of studying like I should eheh) Anyway, hope you like this chapter. It was a little hard for me to find the path. I wrote two versions of chapter 21. I thank my girlfriend and my dear friend iara for helping me choose the best one.  
> Hope you liked it as much as we did eheh


	22. Chapter 22

The tiny windows the warehouse had were allowing all sorts of light to be seen. They flickered and spasmed at the beat of the low music that was noticeable from outside. James knocked on the door which opened a tiny window with a big guy peeking through.

“Password.” he said loudly.

“Loki’s flamingos.” The window was closed abruptly.

“No way. Really?” Asked Alex incredulous.

Winn and Kara laughed at the randomness at the name.

“Why?” Asked Maggie.

“I think the guy likes flamingos.” James shrugged.

“And Marvel.” Said Win, catching his breath. He too was a lightweight.

The door was open and it freed Loud 00’s music. Flo Rida’s ‘Low’ was coming to is ending.

They entered and Kara was instantly astonished by the amount of color inside. The polar opposite of its exterior. There were indeed some flamingos. Hanging from the ceiling and on the walls. A dude dressed as a flamingo as well in the dancefloor.

“Why are there so many flamingos?!” Kara asked James.

“Like I said. He likes flamingos. I don’t know.” He turned to walk and said over his shoulder. “Rich people..”

Rhianna’s ‘Disturbia’ had started and Alex and Maggie went straight to the dance floor.

Kara stayed put for a little watching the place. It was far bigger than it seemed from outside. It had what seemed like a passage to a different room in the back. There were two stories. Kara could see a bar, a dancefloor, obviously, a few scattered couches and low tables next to them. There were fake tropical leaves everywhere and most people were wearing a piece of pink clothing. Winn looked back and handed his hand to her gesturing a ‘come on’ with his head.

This was a new environment for Kara. She took a stronger breath in, filling her lungs with some sort of thin smoke that circled these pink people. She puckered her nose and lips and started walking towards Winn and the rest, relaxing her facial muscles as she took her friend’s hand.

“What are you having?” James asked placing his heavy hand on Kara’s shoulder?

“A sex-on-the-beach for me.” The request left her mouth before she could actually think of what drink she wanted. She used to always go for a caipiblack, but ever since she got a taste of Lena’s drink, her own choice seemed predictable and childish. And, although it had been James’ question, her voice was directed at the bartender.

“Mmm, is that an invitation Kara?” His hand slipped from one shoulder to the other, trapping her under his immensity. “I didn’t take you for that type of girl.” His weight suffocated Kara for a moment until she pushed him back politely and said: “Ew James.”

She took her orange drink and joined the others on the dance floor, aware of his steps behind her. He made her feel uncomfortable but she chose not to let that spoil the night for her.

Music and her friends. That was all she needed to feel at home, and there on that dance floor that took her every step and moves, she felt at home in a strange new way.

They danced together, they danced apart and they danced with strangers daring enough to respond to their body talk and eye contact.

Maggie and Alex were dancing together and Winn, James, and Kara were in a smaller circle until a guy broke it and pulled Kara in to dance. She would have never imagined she would ever dance with a flamingo guy but here she was; empty drink in her hand, slight dizziness in her head, a smile on her lips and a guy in a flamingo costume in front of her syncing his rhythm to hers.

Eventually, she tired herself from all that dancing and decided to explore the place, leaving Alex and Maggie in one of the couches and Winn and James at the bar.

She started walking and swaying around tipsy youth and loose adults. All those colors were starting to make her eyes burn a little. She felt dehydrated but the alcohol was masking that for her. Somehow, someway and for some reason, she felt a pull. Something telling her ‘explore’, ‘look for more’ and even ‘experience everything’. Her gut was conducting at this point. She was an orchestra and this feeling was the conductor.

She discovered a passage near the back of the bar with light neon pink plastic curtains that hung in stripes from the ceiling. There was no one there to stop her from going up so she did, steps with a light green or blue velvet seemed a little too much but they were indeed impressive. She held herself on the railway at steadied herself as she bowed to touch the softness her feet couldn’t feel.

“Wow!” She muttered astonished by the work flamingo guy had put into this. She pursed her lips and made her way upwards.

The sight there was close to the one downstairs. Flamingos and leaves were still strong, the main difference was the main lighting. Here it was bluer and greener. There was another dance floor, this one seemed slightly bigger or perhaps it was the lack of people in it; there were more low couches and tables, and there as a bar.

The bar yes! She suddenly remembered her drink was empty and her mouth yearned for more liquid.

As she was walking, neon lights low, she had to again sway among the people cluttering near the bar. She had one hand holding the empty cup and the other in front of her, mapping the way ahead of her.

As she cruised through the place, people looked at her. Eyes fell on her as easily as a children’s gaze falls on candy. She had grown since last year. Shy womanhood poured from her now. She fixed her shiny glasses, focused her eyes as much as she could on the bar ahead of her and returned her hand to the merciful duty of finding her way through some of the people.

Suddenly as she was about to touch a man’s shoulder to pass she felt a hand on her own that removed her from her map trance.

“Hey,” The blonde looked at her own hand in distrust. “over here.” And with that her eyes followed the fair hand and arm now guiding her, only stopping in the other woman’s eyes. In that exact moment, she knew what drove her to explore and why.

She smiled wide not being able yet to out a word and took two steps, small and quick to come closer to her.

“Sorry I grabbed you like that, you seemed a little lost.” A smile greeted her back

“Miss Luthor!” Kara’s voice was breathy and overrun with relief and happiness to see this woman here.

“Lena, please.” She chuckled almost unnoticeably. “There’s no need for hierarchies here.” Her hands were still together, none of them noticed it. Lena was the first to become aware and with a strange jerk, she let go. “It’s good to see you again, miss Danvers!”

“Well, if I’m calling you Lena-” Kara said lifting her now free hand at the first word and dropping her instantly.

“-Kara it is.” Completed Lena, not missing a beat. “Drinks?” She noticed Kara’s empty tall glass she was holding near her thigh.

“Sure” She was able to get out from her smile. “I was actually headed to the bar.” She pointed with her index finger.

“Sorry I stopped you. Come on. I’ll grab one too.”

They got to the bar and Lena rested her naked forearms on the counter. And Kara took the chance to see the woman, her eyes falling perhaps where they shouldn’t. Lena caught her through the small mirror in the bar and Kara lifted her head to encounter just that. Lena’s eyes and genuine smile on that reflective surface. The older woman chuckled as the younger’s cheeks caught on fire. She fixed her hair, diverting a lock from her field of vision and fixed her glasses, returning an embarrassed chuckle.

“It’s a crazy place” Kara came closer to the counter, letting her empty glass rest on it and enjoying the cold wood of the bar on her thin jeans.

“Yeah, it is.” Lena looked down to her hands and back up again to meet Kara’s eyes. “Cocktails here are really great.” She called the bartender with simply a flick of her wrist with two erect fingers that caught Kara’s attention more than it should have had.

Kara’s emergency plan was to ask a question. Divert her attention elsewhere completely.

“Have you ever been to a flamingo themed party?” She was still a little nervous.

“You know, I cannot say that I have, no.” She grinned, diverting her eyes to a flamingo balloon a little to Kara’s left and pausing with an estranged expression. “I have no idea what went through the organizer’s mind. Have you?”

“Oh no, this is my first ‘real party’.” She bit her tongue and hated herself for such a childish remark. What use was there in telling this grown woman that happened to just have asked you for drinks, that this was your first party, thus emphasizing your ingenuity and lack of experience and age? She avoided Lena’s clear eyes and clenched her teeth, opening them only to try to save the situation. “I mean, with, you know,” she coughed. “flamingos. In a warehouse…”

Lena understood Kara’s embarrassment and awkwardness and decided to not feed it and instead offered her a comfortable space.

“Well, that makes us two so don’t worry. I hope you are enjoying it so far?”

“Oh, yes, I am.” It just got a whole lot better with you here, she thought. “What about you?”

Lena said yes with her head, closing her lips tightly together and lifting her eyebrows.

“How did you end up here tonight?” She gave Lena the smallest nudge, holding a smile.

“I ask you the same! Thought you might enjoy dark alley bars with Karaoke and a Pool table a little more.”

Touché!

Kara laughed at Lena’s playfulness, proud of whatever connection they had created over that night’s events that allowed them to now play like this, even barely knowing each other.

“A friend invited me.”

Lena lifted only one eyebrow now. “A friend?"

Kara bit her lip and quickly answered that yes, only a friend.

“You know him actually. It was James.”

Lena made eye contact with the man approaching. “Oh, he was the one who invited me as well.”

“He did?” That triggered Kara. She was about to ask her what she meant and how he asked her and what it meant for Lena and James. The alcoholic rage in her was emerging in her.

“What can I get you, ladies?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I miss having time to write!  
> School is going great though, so It has been worth it :)  
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Did you notice the 'Dates' easter eggs?


	23. Chapter 23

“I’d like a Cosmopolitan, please. Strong.”

Kara was still holding on to the fact that James had invited Lena to this party but Lena’s drink choice yanked her out of that state for a while.

“I’d like another one of these.” She pushed her empty cup a little forward, feeling a slight hint of embarrassment for so clearly having drunk this beverage because Lena had drunk it a few nights before. “A sex-on-the-beach, thank you.” The bartender took her empty cup and started preparing their order.

“You really liked it huh?” Lena’s tone was flirtatious but correct, not giving too much, but also not holding back.

“I did. Thank you for letting me taste it. I don’t think I would have tried it if it weren’t for you, really.” Her mind was going to that night and to their amazing time together. She liked that Lena had shown her that drink. It made her feel fuzzy inside. It made her want Lena to show her more.

“Well, I’m glad I did that.” They took the drinks and touched their glasses with a small ‘cheers’. Lena liked that Kara had asked for that drink because of her. Something in this girl made her feel incredibly warm and comfortable. This feeling scared her and excited her in a strange way.

They took a few sips and turned around to face the place and its pink dancers for a moment in shared silence.

“Could I taste that one?” Either alcohol in her or the messy courage Lena aroused was starting to take control of her and she wasn’t planning on stopping that.

Lena’s drink left her lips as she looked at Kara, who was holding her gaze and gave her her glass. Kara took it making sure her hands touched which made Lena’s neck hair erect and her own legs shiver. Lena broke the eye contact for a moment of clearance and rest but quickly returned them to the blue oceans of this younger girl. Kara took the cup to her lips making sure the cup touched them in the place Lena’s had drank from. This was beyond daring and they both were aware of it, just not at the same magnitude.

This time Lena didn’t break the eye contact, the most daring part of her wanted to see how far the blonde would take it.

Kara returned the cup to Lena as she licked her lips.

“It’s strong.” She hadn’t liked it. “And tart. But also very refreshing.”

Lena chuckled, grabbing Kara’s own drink to savour its known and fruity sweet flavour.

“Want to go sit down for a bit” She started walking, not giving Kara time to think about the request. Kara was pleased, her legs were needing some rest. It had been nearly 2 hours on her feet and with a fair amount of alcohol in her. She really needed to sit down. Her quavering legs and glossy vision were needing it. The twirling sensation in her stomach as well.

She touches a hand to her belly and as they were sitting down Lena saw it. She asked one of the circling workers if they could bring them a dose of vegan quesadillas and some sweet fries.

“Oh, Lena, you didn’t have to do that. Thank you.”

“You seem like you need some food in you. I’m happy to offer.”

They smiled at each other and small talked until the food arrived. After it did and Kara devoured 3 quesadillas and Lena ate part of the fries, they kept on drinking and talking.

“So, James invited you, you said…”

“Yeah, he did. One of his many attempts at something.” Lena lifted her eyebrows and sighed.

“Something?” Kara frowned. “What has he attempted?” Her voice was a little too demanding and jealous for her liking so in regret she put a fry in her mouth in efforts to shut up.

“Oh you know, I’m sure you have heard of it. He’s very obvious about his…” she paused. “how could I describe this?” She paused again, “About his wishes, perhaps.”

Kara pursed her lips but savoured Lena’s tone. She understood Lena didn’t feel the same way about James, not even close.

“I have heard about it yeah.” She took another sip under the bluish lights that carved her features like Michelangelo carved stone.

“What do you think about it?” Lena questioned, inching over to grab the sexy pink drink on the table and leaning back to take a sip.

“I mean, I get it.” Kara looked around until she realized what she had just said. “I get the, um, his pursuing, let’s say.”

“How so?”

“When you like something,” She hiccupped which made Lena smile. “Sorry.” She said within the smile she returned the woman. “When you like someone, I don’t believe giving up is an option.”

“Even if the other person clearly doesn’t feel the same way?”

“That’s different. I think you should always try. Trying doesn’t hurt and could do a lot for you. Plus, there’s always the unlikely chance they will like you back, isn’t it?” She ate another fry. “You should try, and that’s what he’s been doing. But I also think that past a certain point you should stop and respect the other’s feelings, or else it’ll become a very uncomfortable situation.”

Lena bit her lip almost indistinctively. “How old did you say you were again?” 

“Oh, I’m 18, almost 19.” She finished her drink.

“You’re very mature.” They shared a lingering look, a moment too long perhaps.

Kara ducked her head down and fixed her glasses laughing off her blush but Lena kept looking at her with an intrigued expression. Kara was feeling awkward and ecstatic and that she couldn’t stay still for any longer or she would combust at the hands of Lena’s intensity (a good and exciting one, nevertheless).

She ate the last quesadilla quickly and finished it with a shake of her hands, to wipe off any crumbs. She let a strong breath out and got up in a flash.

“Wheew, I need some dancing.” She instantly regretted getting up that fast as her head seemed to spin uncontrollably for two seconds. “Would you like to join me, Lena?”

Lena. Damn, that name sounded even better now. It didn’t feel weird calling her by Lena. But it should. She was a teacher at her university and she was a student. What did this mean? Did she allow everyone to call her Lena? Did James call her Lena? She bet it didn’t taste as nice on his tongue as it did on hers. Lena.

The older woman took Kara’s outstretched hand and gladly answered yes. She wasn’t much of a dancer. She never had been. But she felt she couldn’t say no to Kara. Should it be the alcohol in her or should it be something more, she wasn’t too worried on figuring it out just yet. She was needing some partying and a good company to party and be with for a while and here in front of her, grabbing her hand and surrounding her body it was just that. It didn’t have to mean more than it did. It didn’t have to be complicated or strange.

They walked together to the shiny, silver dancefloor that was now being used and danced on by around 10 more people. The late 00’s music was an excellent choice, both women knew them. It was easy dancing carefreely to these beats, it was like dancing to old memories. To lyrics that helped you grow.

Lena’s best memories had been with music and books and she could enjoy any sorts of music. She had a tune for everything. Her home had music at every corner most times. Certain songs for certain people. Certain genres for certain occasions. She had fun with music, she cried with it as well. From Tchaikovsky to Fleetwood Mac, to Elliot Smith or to Rihanna. They all had a part of her.

They had been a part of her life, present and consistent when her parents and adoptive family weren’t. She couldn’t sing or dance but she could savour to the melodies and their sweet impact.

Britney’s Toxic played its first beats and it had Kara screaming.

“Oh my god! I LOVE THIS SONG!” Kara took a few steps back and started a whole routine she seemed to have planned for a long time. Lena’s eyes flicked open and stayed wide and amused with such sight.

Kara’s shoulders were moving and her arms were framing her and accompanying her legs as they moved together. Her hips were swaying from side to side as her hand caught her hair and her chin turned. Her hands glided on her torso and neck, showing her belly whenever her arms were up which caught Lena off guard.

Lena thought she was seeing a whole new person. Kara had undergone a transformation and she was clearly different. Suddenly she stopped being a cute, funny, college girl and metamorphosed into a mature, sensual woman under these lights that had turned bright red and purple.

Lena made the effort to continue moving not to be so obvious about her staring and tried to stop her brain from doing what it was doing right now. These thoughts weren’t appropriate and she needed to stop them now.

Kara kept on dancing, unaware of Lena’s thoughts but aware of her looking. She felt different. She had never danced like this in public. She had never had the courage to do so, really, but for some reason, she felt free right now. She felt light and dizzy and brave and she couldn’t help dancing to Britney her all-time celebrity crush, for Lena, her real life, looking back at her, crush.

She sang the last few words “Intoxicate me now, with your lovin’ now, I think I’m ready now.” And finished her dancing waving her loose hair with her hands and letting it fall messy and stunning on her shoulders and with one of her feet drawing closer back to her.

She lifted her eyes to look at Lena who had her lips slightly parted and a strange expression on that she hadn’t seen yet. It seemed contained which made her feel self-conscious and shy. She let a hand fix her hair and the other adjusted her glasses that had descended on her nose a little. She came closer to Lena and stuck a few strands of hair behind her ear.

They didn’t say a word for a couple of seconds, they just stood there looking at each other until Lena broke the tension with a peal of laughter.

“Wow.” And clapped, teasingly. “I have no idea what just happened, but that was great.”

Kara laughed back, ducked her head and held her elbows with her hands, “Well, you know Britney.” She let go of one and gestured with her hands. “I’m surprised you didn’t join me. I thought Brit had this effect on everyone.” Her words were slow and slurred.

Lena grinned at that and played back: “Oh she does, I’m certain. I just couldn’t let myself steal that moment from you.” Her hand fell on Kara’s forearm and she gave her a little wink. Kara instantly blushed.

She started turning “I’m going outside. I need some fresh air on my lungs.” And retrieved her warm hand from Kara’s cold arm. “Wanna come?”

Her drink was almost over so she placed it on the tray of a young man who passed by her and whispered something in his ear Kara couldn’t hear.

Kara’s tongue felt slippery on her mouth and she couldn’t help but notice how Lena’s eyes seemed purplish an out of this material world reflecting this light. How could anyone say no to this woman or refuse to accompany her anywhere?

“Of course I’ll come.” They both smiled and Kara took a step, letting out of her mouth the words “I’m honoured.” Before she could stop herself, feeling instant regret over the corniness of such remark.

“Honoured?” Lena repeated with enjoyment on her beautiful Irish voice. “Such chivalry.” And she turned away, ignoring the younger girl’s deep reddening, pretending she wasn’t aware of the effect she had on her and denying the effect this girl had on her.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a long one! Haven't posted in so long I thought I might as well deliver a big one.  
> Hope you guys like it!
> 
>  
> 
> Happy pride month!

Lena’s walk was sure and confident and Kara couldn’t help notice the sway of her hips and her high heels’ tick-tock through the hard floors or her hand on the stair’s handrail, sliding on it as if the iron was silk. She couldn’t help but wonder if what she was seeing was actually real or an image created and augmented by her drunken brain. She focused harder to try to understand it.

“Kara, there you are!” She felt a hand on her shoulder that broke her focus and she saw Alex and felt her wet touch from the toilet’s sink water. “I was wondering where you had gone.” And when she returned to look for the woman she was already gone.

“Shoot.” She said under her breath.

“Are you okay? Where have you been?”

“I was um, upstairs, with-” She looked around again. “with Lena.”

“Lena Luthor?” Kara returned her eyes to Alex’s and shrunk in her feet, her neck contracted and a grin on her lips, the joy and excitement pouring from her like fine water. “Oh my God, Kara!”

“Hmhm.” She started giggling, abruptly stopping to look over the heads of the people in that space. “I’ll tell you later, she asked me to go outside with her.” And she giggled again, contracting her neck again and turning around to find Lena, almost unaware of Alex’s plead for her to wait received with no avail and her sisterly ‘Be careful!’.

Kara couldn’t find Lena but kept going also to find some fresh breeze. She was beginning to feel the alcohol’s capacity to turn legs into soft and weak tissue.

Outside it was dark, a few orange lights showing the way minimally. The thump of the warehouse was again like a heartbeat keeping the party alive, in charge of it.

Kara took a moment to adjust her eyes to the new lighting and her earing to the new, muffled sounds. She looked around for the woman she knew she’d follow everywhere and didn’t quite see her well.

She took off her glasses and wiped them clean with a piece of clothing and put them back on, squinting her eyes to try and see and she saw, finally, that Lena’s figure was sitting on a bench in front of the river line, about 20 meters from the warehouse’s entry.

She started walking without needing to think much and because of that, stumbled down the street’s sidewalk edge.

“Shoot!”

Lena turned around, smiling at Kara’s curse. “Somebody’s had a little too much to drink perhaps?” And in a fraction of a second, her eyebrow jumped.

“Who, me?” She touched her index finger to her chest and looked over her shoulder, pretending to search for other guilty parties. “No, not at all.” She let out, with a far bigger intensity and air than she intended. “Nope. Not me. The sidewalk tricked me.”

“Well then, I hope you don’t mind that I got another drink for us.” She gave Kara a cup. “Caipiblack for you and a pure whiskey for me.”

“Whiskey? I didn’t know you liked whiskey.” She said as she sat next to Lena.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know about me, missy.” And she touched Kara’s knee very gently and quickly.

“I know…”

The water from the river glittered moonlight and stars. Reflected disperse lights and enchanted one’s eyes and there they stood for a moment contemplating the beautifully darkened view and breathing the clean air, digesting the words said just now, aware of the tension they created. Kara looked down at her restless hands that were trying to get a grip of something, a thought, a feeling or a moment.

She turned to Lena, trying to steady her heartbeat and freezing her now deep blue ocean eyes on Lena’s profile while she took a sip from her light copper drink, noticing how her eyes stayed open until the glass cup reached her lips, at which point she would close them and tilt the glass to allow the liquid to move and enter her mouth. A small blind sip perhaps to let herself feel the intensity of the drink without any visual stimuli, intensifying her sense, taste, like her earing intensified.

“I would like to know more…” She heard it clear. Her eyes opened and she dropped her hand on her lap, holding the hard cold glass against her black jeans and turned her head to Kara, finding her ocean eyes with her emerald greens.

Lena was completely caught off guard by that. She felt a door in her heart open like it hadn’t opened in a long time but what did it mean?

She broke the eye contact with a shy smile, gazing over the river again feeling her pulse intensify.

“You’re very sweet, Kara.”

She felt nervous, a thrill run through her spine. She felt scared of what this might mean and the inappropriateness of whatever she was feeling before even being able to categorize it.

She took another drink, eyes open, then close to savor its taste and feel it burn through that feeling, then open again.

“I’m sorry.” Kara felt awkward. “I didn’t mean to-”

“No, don’t worry. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Lena placed a hand on Kara’s thigh to reassure her. “Nothing at all.”

She took one more sip, this time a bigger one, more liquid, more burning, fewer thoughts, and feelings perhaps. Kara imitated and took a long gulp of her own sweet drink.

All it did was make both women tip over the tipsy edge. Kara fell completely. Her legs became wobbly and her vision completely blurred. She became hyper-aware of Lena’s hand on her leg and each of her body movements all the while seeing them in slow motion. She felt a huge desire to reach over and grab Lena, hold her close so she could stabilize herself and so she could feel her body close, touching hers as they did in her dreams.

Lena decided to be bold, what did she have to lose? Nobody was there to condemn her. This young woman was showing her things she hadn’t seen and making her feel things she hadn’t felt in a long, long time.

“You know, you can stop by my office whenever you’d like.” She retrieved her hand and took it to her hair allowing the river’s light to highlight her cheek. “For a cup of tea or just to talk, whatever you need.”

“I wou- I would like that very much yes.” She hugged herself, soothing the fire combusting within her.

They broke the tension with a shallow conversation about the school which was boring both of them since they were too drunk for that anyway, so it quickly deepened.

Suddenly they were discussing topics neither of them had ever really discussed in such a vulnerable way and so comfortable to be that vulnerable.

This time Lena let Kara ramble and served as a moderator, inciting new points of views or ideas or little notes and Kara would think on them for a while and then think more out. She was growing more fascinated with this young woman by the minute. Each thought and each look Kara gave her so willingly and freely were cultivating in her certain feelings she knew she shouldn’t be experiencing.

“I don’t quite understand the origins of emotions, behind the response part they have in interactions, what are they, you know? Is addiction an emotion? Or does an addiction uncover emotions in you, or do you become addicted because of emotions you get from certain stimuli?” Kara moved her hand around allowing the tiny ice in her cup to dance. “Or mystical experiences!” She stared blankly at her hand in front of Lena.

“Go on…” Lena incited, wondering what the blonde woman was going to say.

“If divine love, passion, desire, and bliss, for example, are emotions, so are mystical experiences or the feeling of oneness with something. But why, or how?” She looked over at Lena, believing this wise woman would clearly have the answer.

“They all generate neuropeptides and neurotransmitters that flood the body and alter the conscious mind and consciousness itself. Just like power, survival or sex.” She had an answer. “They also generate a change in the person that they can’t come back from.”

“It changes them… and the world is never the same again…” Kara was bewildered. Ever since she met Lena she didn’t feel the same. She felt strangely different, perhaps even connected to this woman or to whatever feeling she evoked in her. But she wasn’t ready to dive that deeply.

“You know, people do have mystical experiences, I believe. And I also believe that it affects the body and the mind. It is something very real that affects us.” Kara could only think about the meaning behind Lena’s words.

‘Us’ as in, you and me? Gosh, I hope so…

“I think so too,” Kara said after two seconds of silence releasing the hand she had clenched under her left leg without noticing. “And I think I can’t wrap my mind around the possibility of certain emotions and experiences being only on the brain, a simple neurological reaction to chemistry and stimuli.” Her words were starting to slur a bit more sip by sip. “I think that’s bonkers. It can’t be.” She looked at Lena and the older woman saw something in her eyes. She saw desire and warmth. Openness and promise but also danger and caution. It left her inquisitive.

Kara, involved in her thought and eager to share it, getting slightly upset at how she didn’t understand it as well, came closer to Lena’s body with a fast jump, leaving her cup next to her, safe from her movements and placed her hands strongly on her legs, grabbing them strongly in a matter that could leave a mark.

“Because then how can anyone justify when two people feel a connection that goes deeper than any thought, communication or emotion? There are some people that simply seem to leave such an impact on you that you can feel their eyes on you even when you can’t see them, or-or” She leaned back against the hardwood bench and made big gestures with her hands. “Or when you feel their presence in a room you share but are unaware you’re sharing it? Or how you can travel to someone’s dreams before any encounter or how you can feel bad when they feel bad from miles away or-”

She stopped and bit her lip, and her hand landed next to her leg, slightly brushing against Lena’s cold hand, a touch that instantly made it warmer. She scared herself and Lena stopped her breathing at the same time as Kara retrieved her hand, pretending she had any intentions on grabbing her drink before this. Lena retrieved hers and landed it on her lap, serving as a tray to her other hand which she fondled slowly with her thumb.

“Or when you feel an incomprehensible pull dragging you to an unknown destination simply to discover it’s the other person…” She looked at her again, after her monologue, and saw Lena’s eyes shine differently, not understanding how exactly.

“A spiritual connection…” Lena said under her breath and bit her lip.

They shared a lingering look that alternated between eyes and mouth and Lena felt incredibly desperate and lost yet altogether found and understood.

“HEY KARA!”

They jumped together, and Kara turned her torso and head towards her name frantically, kicking and spilling her drink on her ankles and feet and feeling nauseous because of the quickness and startlement.

“Shoot.”

Lena turned back as well and the younger woman stood up and grabbed her cup that had yet some drink in it.

“BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU GIRL!” It was James, his big arms opened and dark being lit by the warehouse’s open door. Winn appeared behind him and called for Kara as well, but only making it to the first syllable, since he threw up where the last syllable would be. He grabbed his knees and bent down and puked with intensity. They heard the vomit hit the floor from where they were.

“Oh, God.” She started walking stopping after two large steps to turn around and face Lena apologetically. “I’m- I’m sorry, I’ve to-” And she turned back, after Lena’s “Of course!” and rushed to meet her friends to try and help Winn.

Winn vomited everything he drank that night and it took a while to get it all out but as soon as he finished he straightened himself and patted Kara on the back.

“He- Heey guuurll, it’s -um- it’s good to see you blondiee. You smell like vod- vodka and coke.” He turned to James “Doesn’t she sma, smell like vodka and Coca-Colahhh” Emphasizing the beverages’ pronunciation which made Kara laugh hard and pat him on the back as well.

“Sure buddy sure she does.”

“How much has he had to drink since I left?” She asked James, holding one side of Winn’s body and holding her belly as well, half to hold her laughter, half to hold her nausea.

“Quite a lot.” James nodded.

“Clearly.” She held the door open still chuckling. James entered in front of her with Winn with one arm over his thick neck.

“Hey, who was that there with you?” James asked passing through her, stopping and looking back at the darkened bench.

“Oh, it was, um,” She looked back as well, looking for the woman. “It was Lena Luthor.” But she wasn’t there anymore.

“Lena?” He questioned with an offended tone.

He entered the warehouse and for a second longer, Kara held the door open. She questioned herself where Lena had gone or if she had been there at all. She drank the last bit of her drink and shook her feet to try to release the little cubes of ice stuck in them.

She entered the sea of pink, had another shot and after that the night became a blur. Remembering what was said after that was a talk she couldn’t quite grip her hands around.

The last thing she remembered was an awkward encounter with her sister, and perhaps the others, she really couldn’t tell. She remembered Alex ‘hey’ing her and answering something like “Hey! Hey, you look like my sister!” to which Alex had answered, “Are you slurring your words?”

“No. Am I?” She answered, turning forward to count syllables. “Chooo-coooo-lattte.” Each syllable a finger. “Cho-co-late” But she completely failed, inciting an amazed smile in her sister.

“Wow. Kara Danvers drunk… That’s-that’s a first.”

Kara shrunk again, forming some folds under her neck and pursing her lips together, containing a big laugh. She was as red as a tomato.

“Have you seen-” She looked around. “You know, I’m driving you home!” And she started walking towards somewhere.

“I’m not flying that’s for sure!” She giggled. It made so much sense to her.

Everything else was a complete blur and even her conversation with Lena seemed distant and unbelievable as if it were a dream and nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some parts of the conversations were inspired by the book "What the bleep do we know" which is a very nice book on quantum physics and spirituality. If you wanna dive in a rabit hole read it!


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!  
> My first year of college is over! Ooof, what a ride! These last couple of months were insane! I can finally start dedicating more time to writing this story. Thank you for reading still and for your patience, it makes me happ
> 
> I'm going to be posting more now, so buckle up guys!

Had it been real or a simple dream?

Kara kept on wondering this throughout the week that followed her party encounter with Lena. Small flashes rushed through her mind in the little things she did or she saw. The fact that she hadn’t seen Lena in that full week had helped whatever had happened in that party besides a certain point not come to her in strength. Only in dreams she had a better vision of those flashes and buried memories, but then, could she count them as exact representations of what it was if they were dreams? No, so she kept them there and appreciated the butterflies they left on her belly and the embarrassment they flourished.

Alex and Winn had talked to her about her being with Lena, demanding for more details. Alex could see that her sister was already head over heels, she had no doubt, and she had seen how Lena sometimes looks at her so deep down, she had a feeling of expectancy like something could actually happen, yet she didn’t want to lead her sister on, just in case.

Winn was a different case, he didn’t believe it could be possible for a second. No way. Student/Teacher relationships weren’t a thing for him, only a book or a movie type of thing. But at the same time, he believed in James’ words when he told him that he would make Lena date him one day… A strange comparison Kara pointed out at some point.

“It’s, you know, James. Big, charismatic James.” He tried to explain. “He’s all over her every time he sees her anyway.”

Kara felt furious at this comment. She didn’t know. She couldn’t see it. She didn’t believe Lena gave him a second thought by any chance.

“What do you mean? I’m me, I’m charismatic and smart, and she and I get along.” She felt a need to win this argument and fight with every fiber in her about it but at the same time, a wave of ‘just prove him. Let him be and just fight for her instead.’

“Yes, I know Kara. And you’re seriously the best person I have ever met. But I don’t know…” He paused, not really wanting to finish his sentence. “He’s a dude.”

This angered both of the Danvers sister’s. “So what?” They said at the same time.

“Nothing!” He coughed. “Just think about it. How probable is it that she likes women?”

“It is just as probable as her liking men.” Alex defended.

“Yes, okay.” He faced his defeat. “Fine, okay. I hope it works out. I just don’t want you to get hurt, Kara.” The friendly tone in Winn’s voice returned them all to their calm state. He grabbed Kara’s hand. “You’re too special to be hurt like that.” Which made her smile dearly, placing her free hand on top of his.

“Thank you, Winn, for your concern.” She paused for a moment, pondering his words of worry. “I won’t get hurt. Everything is under control.”

Expect it wasn’t. It would’ve been if she could remember everything past the toxic drunken dance she had done in the middle of that shiny blue up floor, beside flashes and dreams.

Not seeing Lena felt like a relief and an ache at the same time. Part of Kara needed desperately to see her, part of her avoided her and the utter shame that she carried for not knowing, for dancing, for slurring words and, if her dreams were right, mixed with a strong desire and anxiety, the lingering look they shared lighted only by the orange street light.

She avoided the places she knew Lena could be in during the week and sometimes, with waves of courage, she would trot the halls looking for her, never finding her and leaving her chest small with disappointment.

After morning basketball practice and after delivering the week’s column on college parties, Kara remembered she needed, with urgency, a book for the next class she would have so she, after grabbing a croissant at the nearest little school bar and leaving it hanging halfway out of her mouth stuck by a strong bite, sprinted through the halls to the library. She spent way too much time looking for the book she needed and when she finally found it and validated its leaving from the establishment, she noticed the time. She was 5 minutes late for class.

Some croissant still hanging from her mouth and now with a book under one arm and a loose bag over one shoulder, she took off again, banging the library door shut and shouting a muffed ‘I’m sorry!’.

One of the cleaning ladies was doing her job in a hallway that turned left, at the end of that path, Kara’s class waited. Kara passed by her in a hurry, holding her bag tightly and looking over her shoulder to the lady and yelling a ‘Hello Miss Claire!’. Miss Claire didn’t have time to finish her sentence, a warning.

“Kara be careful! The floor is w-”

Kara slipped on the wet floor and slid across it a meter, stopping only with a bang on a trashcan and a thump of her butt on the floor.

“Wet…” Miss Claire continued, starting to walk towards Kara.

“Kara! Are you okay?” But it wasn’t Miss Claire’s voice this time, it was another voice, far sweeter, far more recognizable voice with a slight accent and an obvious weak try at containing a smile.

“Shoot.” She said under her breath and looked up, facing the green emeralds staring at her coming closer and closer to her.

“I’ll help you.” And she started gathering Kara’s scattered belongings, squatting down next to her, as she still sat, ignoring her butt getting wetter by the second. Lena’s knees were pressed together in a womanly posture with such class only she could possibly pull it off, her dark dress pressed against her let Kara see the curves she now remembered seeing at the party, sitting next to her, being hyper-aware of their shape and closeness.

“I tried to tell her to be careful!” Miss Claire’s voice broke Kara from her recent memory and pulled her eyes towards her. “You need to pay more attention to the signs!” Miss Claire said placing her hands on her hips like Eliza used to do when she’s upset at anything Kara or Alex had done, or her own mother when she was worried about something.

“Yeah. I know.” She laughed, starting to turn on her bottom to get up.

“Here.” Lena’s white hand was extended towards Kara, offering her help, and she took it.

“I’ll pay more attention next time Miss Claire. I promise.” She shook her clothing and retrieved her things from Lena except the book, which had slid slightly farther away than the rest. She looked around for it and Lena did the same. Claire returned to her mop a few feet away.

Lena squatted again, knees tight, back straight, which made Kara blush with her shame, the difference between her back to her waist to her butt pressed hard against the thin black sheet of clothing. She gulped and fixed her glasses, turning around at the exact moment Lena started to stand up so she didn’t catch her staring.

“Are you looking for this?” And she extended her the book.

“Yes, thank- thank you,” She looked around. “Miss Luthor.”

“Oh, Kara, we discussed this, you can call me Lena.” Kara took the book and pressed it against her chest trying to contain her breathing as it was beginning to get out of control.

“Of course! Right! Lena.” She smiled wide and her chin went up, her eyes down and then up again.

“Haven’t seen you around much lately.” Lena said, expectant and jolly, with a shy smile and a confident tone.

“Oh, well, you know,” She blew one thin strand of hair from her face, shaking her head to help. “Classes and stuff…” She smiled again, swallowing her nerves.

“I know.” A pause. “I had a lot of fun... the other night...” She smiled and looked Kara with slightly wider eyes, hopeful for a mutual response.

“I did too. It was great. It is always a great time when I’m with you.” Oh god. The words left her mouth faster than she could catch them. Her eyes widened and her head turned fast, trying to be hidden from the woman.

Lena laughed a small laugh at that and her own head went down as if she were flustered by what the younger woman said. She crossed her arms and continued smiling, looking slightly over, and around, finally meeting Kara’s eyes.

“I hope that wasn’t the last time we ‘hang out’ together, as the kids say it nowadays.”

Kara chuckled and bit her lip. “I hope not either.”

A moment passed and it became tense, their eyes started shifting again, a triangle was starting to form between their gazes and it made Kara panic, reaching her arm up to check her clock. 12 minutes past her class’ start.

“Shoot. Lena, I’m sorry, I gotta- I have to get to class, I’m already late.” She offered her a smile and started turning away from the brunette.

“Kara, wait.” Lena’s hand reached over to Kara’s elbow, grabbing it softly. “I have something for you.”

Now she felt a little nervous, which she didn’t like. She pulled herself together as fast as she called it out.

“Something you said at the party reminded me of this thing and I’d like to give it to you.”

Kara was caught off guard and thought of what a horrible moment for the wetness of her jeans to grasp her skin, sending a shiver down her spine. It was the jeans after all, wasn’t it?

“Oh Lena, you didn’t ha-”

Lena didn’t let her finish the sentence. “You should stop by my office sometime, I’m there from 5 PM to 10 PM, sometimes till 11 PM.”

She turned away and started walking, telling the blonde woman the block and the room as she walked away.

Kara started to think she did this on purpose, for Kara to watch her leave, watch her walk and leave her desiring for more.

Lena’s walk brought new memories to Kara as her hips swayed like boats sail thin waters. She remembered their walk through the crowd, Lena’s drink and the image of them leaving to go somewhere…

As soon as she was alone, or at least, as soon as Lena wasn’t at hearing lengths, Kara smashed her hand on her head and mouthed: “What did I say???”.

She looked again to Miss Claire whose eyes encountered Kara’s, and she touched her clock three times and Kara jumped.

“Shooooot.” She tossed the rest of the bread that had fell on the ground at the same time of her own falling, on the trash she had collided with and waved goodbye to the lady, running the rest of the way to her class.

Being late was already disgraceful when you sat near the front row, doing it with a messy ponytail and a dark round wet mark that covered all of your butt area was even worse, and she could feel the stares and hear the guffaws that sounded after she made her way to her seat. She shrugged in her seat, trying to be as small and unnoticeable as she could and trying to pay attention to her class, but her mind was elsewhere completely.

She started counting the minutes until 5 PM. If only time could speed by faster…


	26. Chapter 26

Kara’s classes ended half an hour before 5 PM. She spent forty minutes walking around Lena’s block, making time not to seem too desperate or anxious to meet her. She felt seen, as if she were at the receiving end of a microscope, but figured it was probably the group of girls in one of the benches who stared at her every time she passed by them or near their location.

She looked at the clock once again for the millionth time that day and it marked 5:18 PM. She decided to head in.

Each step made her strong legs tremble and her palms start to sweat, which she wiped on her jeans as she got closer to the door. As she was about to knock, she heard a laugh inside the room which made her stop and not move a muscle, allowing herself to take in the sound of Lena’s laughter and the fact that she was, indeed, inside. Only now she didn’t know if she was accompanied or waiting for her. That thought made her even more nervous. She didn’t want to interrupt if there was indeed someone inside and she didn’t want to enter like this, trembling, sweating. She turned away and, in a fast pace, quickly found a bathroom, about 50 meters away from the door, right next to a broom’s closet with the door open wide.

She paced back and forth a little bit longer and washed her face with the cold sink water, taking the opportunity to fix her hairdo and pinch, or more accurately – slap – her cheeks a little for a natural blush. Her hair was up in a half ponytail which let her long bangs hug her face while not bothering her vision, a Bordeaux coat, a baby blue turtle-neck and a pair of simple jeans. She looked at herself, not even close to Lena’s level, she thought.

Now fresh and pink, she bit her lip, fixed her glasses and walked to Lena’s office door with determination. As she was just about to knock, the door opened and a deep voice left the room. Kara saw James, big and tall, holding the door, both their eyes widened and confused by each other’s presence in the room.

“James?”

“Kara?” they chanted at the same time.

“Miss Danvers!” Lena’s voice was jolly and excited but Kara thought it was weird that she was calling her miss Danvers instead of her name like they agreed and like just this morning she had underlined. Her brow furrowed a little but she quickly found herself. “I’m glad to see you. Please, come in.” And that invitation forced James to open the space between the door and the room so Kara could pass.

“I was told you wanted to see me, Miss Luthor.” She lied. “Hi, James. What are you doing here?” Her question left her in a calm tone, not accusative, a simple question of curiosity but hiddenly filled with distrust and green jealousy. She connected the dots. She had been laughing, loud enough she could hear from the other side of the door. What could he have said that she never did to make her laugh like that? If she had anything like heat vision, there wouldn’t be James left to explain.

“I came to see Miss Luthor. I wondered where she had been last week at the party. Hadn’t had the time to come here ‘till now, you know.” He said with his cocky expression. “To see if I had any luck this time.” He turned back to Lena, still holding the door with his hand high, lifting his overly tight shirt a little, showing his lower abs definition, which caught the attention of both women but making Kara’s eyes roll discreetly.

“Come on, Miss Luthor, a dinner.”

“Very charming James, but no, as I told you, I can’t possibly. I work late.” This response made Kara’s chin fall to her chest to try to hide the smile her lips were conveying.

“That’s fair, that’s fair. Lunch?” He persisted.

“Mister Olsen, that is also an unfortunate no.”

“You know you can call me James, Miss Luthor.” He looked left and down, returning his gaze back to Lena, in an attempt at flirting, Kara pinpointed. “A coffee and I’ll go.”

Lena crossed her arms and leaned back against her desk. She laughed and shook her head no. He pleaded and erected one brown finger, mouthing ‘One, just one.’. She sighed and said:

“Fine Mister Olsen. But only at the end of the semester. I have to work until then.” He quietly yelled ‘Yes’ closing his fist in victory and turned to leave the room.

“And that’s how it is done, little Danvers.” His hand patted her back twice.

“Congratulations.” She answered, with a big smile, and he winked at her. She closed the door behind him.

“He finally did it.” Kara said, holding her arms in a shy hug, walking closer to Lena.

“He’s been nagging me for 2 years and the last 20 minutes. I thought, fine, just one and he’ll drop the pursuit.” She came closer to Kara and gave her a quick and soft hug, not yet close but also not one armed. More intimacy.

“Yeah, I don’t think he will drop it that easily.”

Lena’s eyebrows jumped and she sighed, saying “Perhaps.” and showing Kara where she could sit.

“But onto more important things now.” Kara sat on Lena’s white couch. The office was gigantic. Two or three times bigger than her little two-bedroom she shared with Alex. “Little Danvers?” She asked, with a teasing tone which made Kara laugh.

“Yeah, I’m the younger sister so I am therefor the designated little Danvers, even though I’m taller than Alex.” She placed her bag on the floor next to her and watched the older woman as she went around the room.

“Well, that’s only the fairest. I could be the little Luthor.” She paused seemingly questioning her own words. “But then again that doesn’t sound nearly as cute as little Danvers.” They both giggled and Lena grabbed a teapot. “Would you like some Tea? Maybe coffee?” Kara accepted the tea the Lena came with the tray, setting in on the little table in front of the couch and serving it.

“How’s your butt?” Kara chocked on the unexpected question, the hot tea burning her lips making them a deeper pink. Her cough made Lena laugh. Endearing, she thought.

“Sorry” Kara apologized not really apologizing and laughed as well. “You always make something like this happen.” She dared.

“Me? Like what?” She sipped her tea, the light coming in through the large windowed wall parallel to them making her china set gleam.

“Like this. Choke on tea, stumble on my feet, let trays fall…” She sipped her own tea.

“Oh, I remember that tray.” Lena said, placing the tea on the small table and leaning back, crossing one leg over the other.

“You do?” She was perplexed, she wanted to hide. “Really?” She chucked trying to hide the shame and the nerves. Another thing Lena used to make happen a lot, matter of fact.

“I do Kara. It startled me, and your hand…” The older woman touched the blonde’s palm, with only one fingertip, tracing it where the cut had been, which hit Kara on a sweet spot of confusion and mystery. She knew exactly where it had been, and which hand too. Lena paid a whole more of attention to Kara than she had thought. This revelation unleashed something between them. They lingered in that moment for a while, smiling at each other and looking away once blue oceans and green emeralds became too much. Lena took a deep breath and slammed her hands just above her knees and exhaled as she stood up.

“Anyway, you probably have to leave to go study so here,” Kara stood up as well. “this is what I told you I had for you. It’s a book I think you’ll like.”

“Oh Lena, thank you. You really didn’t have to.” Kara took the book and looked at it. “ ‘Physics of love, A quantum love story’. ” She read the title out loud.

“Something you said at the party reminded me of this book. I think you’ll find some answers in it or at least some thought-worthy material.”

Kara blushed because she didn’t quite remember what she had said, and Lena, seeing her blush, blushed herself, feeling unprofessional butterflies waking from dusty cocoons.

“Thank you, Lena. This means the world. That’s very kind of you.”

“Of course, my pleasure!” They were standing awfully too close. “Just ignore or don’t mind too much any notes you might find across it. I usually write on books.” Kara made an offended look and they laughed a little over the treasure or sacrilege writing on books actually was.

“You must have a pile of work to get to, Lena,” saying her name would never not leave this sweet flavor on her tongue, “maybe I should leave you to it…” But she didn’t want to. That was the last thing she wanted to do. The clock hadn’t even made it to the 6 PM digit.

“I um, today I actually don’t.” She did. “If you don’t have anything to study or do you can stay a while longer if you want…” And she sat back down.

“I’d like that!” Kara bit her lip and followed Lena, sitting next to her on the couch, leaving their knees at a dangerously close distance. She placed the book on her lap and held it strongly, looking at it, inspecting every corner, every letter in the book cover. Lena noticed Kara’s interest in it and took advantage of it to continue the conversation.

“What do you know about quantum entanglement?” She asked, with her long hair now falling around her shoulders, with a slight wave, much different from the morning’s hairdo.

“Quantum entangliom…” She slurred her words, with a confused look on her face, announcing that she, in fact, knew nothing of such matter. Her expression made the older woman laugh and her bright red lips open. She lightly licked them driving Kara’s full attention to them.

“Well, just so you get an idea of how amazing and fascinating it is, some of the best brains in the world still think this is crazy. When the idea first surfaced over 80 years ago, even the great Einstein considered it pure nonsense. He called it “spukhafte fermwirkung”.” Kara was interested and baffled by Lena’s storytelling, her beautiful accent strong and completely gone once her German kicked in. ‘Holy cow, of course she can speak German’ she thought to herself.

“Spooky action at a distance.” She finished. “Even Einstein couldn’t grasp it. It’s amazing.” Lena felt the love she had for this subject on every word she said as she was captivating Kara like she captivated her students with such ease. “This to tell you that quantum entanglement seems a phenomenon more emotional than physical, an attraction more of mind than matter.” Her words brought some flashbacks to Kara, but nothing clear enough that she could grab or deem as a true memory. “And that’s what that book covers. Amongst many other fantastic theories.”

“That sounds really interesting and promising, I’m eager to start it!” Her words were genuine, pure and filled with delight as one could possibly be. Kara leafed through some pages and a photo fell on her lap, an old Polaroid of a slightly younger Lena (the difference noticeable only by the looks of her clothing (Lena had been a goth, who would’ve thought!), her gorgeous features continued the same) with two people, a beautiful red-headed girl and a charming, clean-cut man bending down to fit on the photo.

“Oh, sorry.” Lena grabbed the photo from Kara’s lap, making sure she touched her leg too. She looked at the picture and said: “Wow. I had completely forgotten that was there.” She remained looking at the photo for a moment longer.

“You look so happy there!” Kara came closer to look at it. Their knees finally touched making them both shiver unnoticeably. “Who are those people?”

“It’s funny actually.” Lena scooted herself further back in the couch and leaned in, still holding the picture, laughing quietly and covering her mouth with two gentle fingers, running them over her lower lip like one does when thinking of something pleasurable, which awakened in Kara a fit of certain jealousy. “These two are my exes. Both.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one be loNG

“Oh!” Kara’s floor suddenly escaped from below her, leaving her with no support to take this new information. Her eyes were opened wider and her hands started sweating, so she let go of the book and it fell down on her feet. She bent over to pick it up it but that task added to the difficulty she was finding breathing right at that second made her way up slower and harder. “Shoot. I’m sorry.”

Lena was aware of the girl’s reaction and found it slightly triggering but she wasn’t falling on the worst possible explanation, she couldn’t do that again. So she deemed it flustering or surprise, pleasant she hoped. But a part of her was crawling inside still, afraid this girl might reject her because of her reveal. Had it been too soon?

“Can you tell me more? What happened?” Kara pulled herself together and like Lena, she scooted in her seat to try to sit comfortably, or at least not as apparently shaky. Her heart was fast with the news. She was overjoyed.

Lena’s romantic story had ups and downs and she wasn’t used to telling it. She had never told it now that she tried to think of the words to put it. They had been one of the most revealing and upsetting parts of her life, not entirely family related, that is.

“Well…” She hesitated, bit her lip and pondered again where to begin. She took another look at the picture.

‘Don’t go in too many details, Lena.’ She thought as a way of protecting herself, yet, she felt incredibly comfortable with Kara and like she could really trust her 100%. A proof of this was Kara’s discretion about her motive to come in the office when James had been there. A very subtle way of keeping it between them. Not that it was morally or ethically wrong, or any of James’ or anybody else’s business, but still. She took another look at the photo, grabbed her tea, took a sip, placed it down back again and started to open up and unveil to the blonde sitting next to her, expectant, curious and receptive.

“A few years ago, when I was 21, I moved from my parents’ house and got my own place. It was a student home and I had to share the house with this other girl, the one you saw in the picture, Isabella, or Bella as most people called her. Bella and I became close. Very close.” She paused. “We got together romantically not after too long of meeting. It was fast and easy with her, and it quickly escalated. We were already living together…”

“Anyway, she was a sweet girl, but naïve. She hadn’t seen much of life yet, I had.”

Kara nodded in agreement as if she knew exactly what Lena had gone through, which she didn’t. She could only imagine. Lena took a deep breath after a pause and she made eye contact with Kara for the first time since she started the story.

“So when my mother found out, she didn’t approve.”

“Why?” Kara asked, sensing the pain in Lena’s tone.

“You know, Kara, to this day I’m still not sure why. I don’t know if it was because she was a woman or if because I was finally leaving that mansion of misery of theirs and finally finding some real happiness…” She rolled her eyes and made an inquisitive expression, filled with obvious disdain and anger. Wounds of a past that takes a while to pass.

“God, I’m so sorry Lena…” Kara placed a hand on the older woman’s knee lightly, reassuringly.

“It’s okay now, I’ve made peace with it. She will never be satisfied with whatever I do or whoever I am or sleep with so I just became used to it. Found my way despite her roadblocks.”

Lena took another sip of her tea and hoped it was whiskey instead. Talking about her past relationships and her mother was too heavy for her. She moved a little on her seat, fighting the obvious anxiety in her and trying to settle instead with Kara’s calm spirit.

“I’m sorry you had to get used to it in the first place. You didn’t deserve that.” Kara said, squeezing lightly Lena’s knee and retrieving the hand, followed by the older woman’s eyes.

“You’re kind, Kara.” Their eyes met again and there all of both woman’s nerves and emotional barriers were broken down.

“What happened next?” Kara asked, wanting to know more. She reached for her own cup of tea.

“Well, as I said, Bella was quite naïve and didn’t know better, I don’t blame her for not staying.” Kara’s furrowed forehead painted exactly what she was thinking.

“How could she not stay?”

Lena chuckled at that and blushed a little, and Kara noticed it. She felt proud and powerful.

“My mother blackmailed or threatened her into leaving me. Leaving the state actually. Something about the evilness in Luthors and how she was in danger by being with me. I couldn’t really get the story straight.”

Lena tried to tell the story how she knew it, from the perspective of the girl’s panicked goodbyes, since she hadn’t gotten much out of her mother. Not recognition, not responsibility, let alone an apology.

“Jesus, that’s vile. Despicable.” She was up on her feet by the end of the Bella story, perplexed. She shook her head no and took her hand to her head, she looked outside the window. Lena found her annoyance endearing and she felt understood. Seen for the first time in a long, long time. “I can’t believe anyone would do such a thing. Jesus. And here I thought I had had it rough around the edges.”

“What do you mean, Kara?” Lena asked, leaning forward in her seat, interested in whatever story Kara could have to tell.

Kara turned around startled like she turns when Lena shows any interest in her, since the very first day.

“Oh, nothing!” She said, leaning against her desk. “Nothing at all, compared to your story.” She could admit that compared to Lena, in all aspects, she was nothing, but Lena cut that thought immediately.

“Don’t say that.” She asked in a sweet tone, slightly sadder even. “Now yours. Tell me.” And she sat back down, inviting Kara to sit back down next to her.

“I feel silly now.” She ducked her head down and fixed her glasses. Lena noticed Kara had started to do that way less with each encounter they had and found a deeper meaning in it than the superficial one, which she liked, she couldn’t deny it. She could feel slightly bad about it, but deny, that she couldn’t do.

“Oh no, please!” Lena giggled a little, which made Kara giggle too.

It was beginning to feel too warm, Kara took off her jacket in smooth motions that Lena followed with her eyes, ducking her head sideways a little at some point. Kara’s biceps were slightly noticeable through the thick blue sweater. The younger girl sat back down and crossed her leg under her butt, sitting comfortably on top of it, but always careful with her sole not to touch the couch.

“Eliza was always very supportive. My sister Alex came out before I did even though she had more trouble with it than I did.”

“Why was that?” Lena asked.

“Well, I think she always felt like Eliza wished for her to live a regular life. Me coming to the family was a big change and Eliza always wanted the best for her kids. So Alex thought being gay was included in the ‘unregular’ category. And she also just really felt the need to be normal, however that was to her.” Kara told recalling her late night conversations with her sister ever since they understood they could be different.

“And you?” Her eyes were expectant.

“For me, it was easier to come to terms with the fluidity of it all. It took me some time but still, smooth sailing, I think.” She coughed. Realizing she was coming out to Lena and that every move or things she could do now would 100% confirm to the older woman her feelings and intentions, whatever they were, with her. She swallowed in dry.

“I had Alex to look up to and an accepting family.” Lena was content with what she was hearing and seemed endeared and amused by the happiness in Kara’s eyes and voice, but then it deepened. “I think the only trouble I had, and that’s where I thought I had it rough, was in high school.” She trailed off. She didn’t love talking about this either but it was easier for her, for sure, than it had been to Lena, so she kept going.

“Joanna, or Carter as she was known by her peers, had been the target of my devotion for a year and a half. We had volleyball together and she was the first person who showed me the potential of my loving interest in people. I was her puppy, now I see, but I thought I was in love with her.”

“And were you?”

“Right now I’m not so sure, it’s nothing compared t-” She stopped herself and bit her tongue. Lena tried to follow Kara’s gaze which had fell on the younger girl’s lap.

“Anyway, Carter was older than me by a year and she was captain of her team and the only one that could beat me at the game. She was everything I wanted to be. But it went downhill quickly, which taught me how much watching someone circle down the drain could hurt…” She stopped and felt a knot in her throat at that thought. Lena sensed it and reached over to grab her hand and hold it in hers as she said, in the sweetest voice:

“Kara, you don’t need to continue if you don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay. Thank you.” She placed her free hand on top of Lena’s and offered her a smile.

“The first eight months of our friendship were great, fast and calm. Then I started hanging out more with her friends.” Kara told her how she didn’t understand what this was, this feeling. She just thought she really liked her friend. It is normal to love your friends, and she, being the late bloomer she is, didn’t think past hand-holding and fluster or butterflies. It was normal for girls to behave sweetly and touchy-feely with each other. It wasn’t inappropriate, so she thought that yes, of course, Carter feels exactly the same way. She surely showed her. Their plays and their conversations, mostly rather shallow, she had to admit all seemed to hold a deeper connection between the two.

She didn’t think she was like Alex because she had liked Winn and she knew she fancied some boys here and there, so it was rather confusing.

Lena paid full attention, taking sips from her still warm tea and nodding yes at Kara’s words.

“Anyway, Carter and her friends started dabbling into some drugs and alcohol which had always scared me, but one night I thought, what the hell. And I tried a blunt.” Lena deepened her focus on the blonde’s lips, imagining a blunt between them, finding it morally horrible but sensually appealing.

“What happened?”

“We were passing the smoke, or trying to, between lots of laughter and,” She paused and touched her lips thoughtfully.

“You kissed her.” Lena finished.

Kara ducked her head down and fixed the hair that fell from her ear, then her glasses.

“Yes…”

“That makes sense to me.”

Kara lifted her head and looked Lena in the eyes, not sure what she meant. Lena realized this question in Kara’s expression and proceeded to explain.

“Knowing what I know of you, seeing what I have seen. It makes perfect sense to me that you would have tried.” Kara felt suddenly even more exposed at the same time as this warm feeling of recognition and connection waved through her. “Plus, it wasn’t that long ago that a very wise young girl told me, and I quote, ‘I think you should always try. (…) There is always the unlikely chance they will like you back, isn’t it?’.”

Lena was smiling dearly and with an electric aura Kara could feel from a mile away.

“That sounds about right, I think” Not understanding what Lena meant by this. “I agree with that, yes.”

Lena let her head fall down a little and laughed genuinely, not as loud as the laugh James got out of her, Kara noticed, but a far more appealing and true sound.

“What?” She asked, confused but charmed.

“Silly. That was you! You told me that the other night!” Lena got up and started walking around the office, stopping next to the window and gazing out through it to the beautiful view. The sky was turning pink and purple.

“Come see this, Kara.” There they stood for a minute more in silence, starstruck by the sight and by each other too.

“But what happened next?” Lena asked, turning to her, leaning with one arm on the parapet of her window. Kara sighed.

“She pushed me away, physically, called me a bunch of names, accused me of ‘eye raping her’ every time she and I had changed clothes together, used words and expressions that really hurt me at that time, then she pushed me away emotionally and just like that, without any other word, our friendship was over.”

Kara shrugged like it didn’t matter much at all.

“I’m sorry, Kara. Losing someone like that must have been really brutal and confusing.”

“It really wasn’t anything I hadn’t felt before, you know…” She smiled, “With my parents.”

“Of course!” Lena felt stupid for not remembering that important factor right away. “I apologize.”

Kara felt bad for her and waved tiny No’s’ with her hands. “No no no no! Don’t apologize!” She laughed a little more, ducked her head down and fixed her glasses. “The difference is that instead of loss, her leaving like that taught me the possibility of prejudice, hatred and how fragile a relationship can be, to evaluate the other person a little better before diving.” She contracted only one cheek and shrugged again, seeming slightly smaller than before.

They turned to the view again and Lena placed on hand in between Kara’s shoulder blades, caressing it gently.

“I think you were definitely made stronger and sweeter by that.” She turned her head to the left to see the younger woman, her skin beaming pink shades of sky and blush.

“Yeah… Perhaps.” Kara answered, looking at Lena but quickly looking turning down, smiling big and wide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tomorow is my gramma's birthday eheh


	28. Chapter 28

Lena was the first to break that silence, slightly nervous to do it and without really knowing the best way to do it either. They had been staring out the window for a long moment, appreciating the pastel colored sky and following the changing waves of clouds. Their hands rested awfully close on the parapet and their pinkies classically spread further apart from the rest in an unconscious attempt of contact.

Lena had started thinking about Kara a lot and had beaten herself up for it just as much too. She could see how unprofessional and dangerous any feelings towards a student could be, let alone a much younger student, and a woman.

She didn’t speak about it to anyone, but again, who had she to talk to anyway? She had never really had anyone in her life to play the true friend part.

One time she thought she had, but, as she should’ve been expecting, it turned out to be a sweetened idea and expectation she had created upon someone.

She tried to push the young woman away by avoiding her on campus, not to hurt her and to protect herself too. But those tries came to no avail. She felt the need to see her, to tease her and to know more about her, which scared her and kept her up at night. But that desire also controlled her and drove her to look for Kara and try to leave a mark on her, draw her in and tease her.

She was fighting a battle within herself. To let go, not worry and try; try like Kara had told her one should always do, or be careful, deny, avoid, ignore and push away these feelings that were growing within her…

That’s where her mind went to as she looked out of that window, hyper-aware of the girl next to her, looking out the same window, making her very best attempts not to look at Lena.

Truth is none of them knew exactly what to do or what would happen, and none of them were precisely thinking about anything in particular, just their presence, their bonding.

Lena couldn’t hold the silence anymore.

“Kara, are you hungry?” She asked, retrieving the hand close to the blonde’s and touching her own abdomen. “I’m starting to get hungry.”

Kara turned to her and smiled, answering yes, she was starting to feel hungry, and her belly roared.

“That’s as honest as it gets.” they laughed. “What would you like?” Lena made her way to her cellphone, resting on the other side of the office above the small table.

“Um, ah... What do you mean?” Kara followed her, confused.

“I’ll order us something to eat. Just tell me what you would like.”

“Oh, I’m not sure. I really like Big Bel-”

“Big Belly Burger?” Lena smiled at her. “That’s my favorite burger place! I’m so glad you picked that!”

Lena ordered the food and not too long after, a knock on the door broke their conversation about which near campus restaurant was the best. Kara was on a quest to trying them all, she decided right there.

They ate their meal together, sharing their fries and sauce. Lena sat on her couch with her shoes off and one of her feet under her leg, a detail Kara couldn’t help but notice, and Kara sat on the chair facing the couch separated only by the small table.

The first five minutes passed slowly and silently, none of them knowing exactly what to say. They started talking at the same time which made them laugh dearly, looking down at their hands or food, anywhere but each other for a brief moment of embarrassment until they missed each other’s gaze or needed it to confirm something and looked up again.

Kara waved with her hand so that Lena could talk first.

“We always end up eating fries or drinking alcohol when we’re together, have you noticed that?” She pointed out, chuckling.

Kara’s eyes widened and she covered her mouth not allowing her gasp to be heard with the intensity it left her body.

“You’re right!” She answered. “But I guess that’s a great excuse for us to get ourselves in new situations and restaurants like the ones you mentioned.”

‘Did I just ask Lena Luthor on a date?’ Kara thought.

Lena widened her eyes quickly with the promise left in the air as she bit her lower lip. She didn’t have to answer to that. Kara knew what it meant.

Another moment of silence followed until Kara said with one of her cheeks full of bread and meat. “Lena,” She covered her mouth with her hand and made a conscious effort to chew faster and swallow so that she didn’t lose Lena’s attention, which a second ago had been on her but now it drifted back to her own hands holding a chicken burger. “you told me about Bella,” She took a breath.

“Hmhm” Lena lifted her eyes to meet Kara’s.

“But what about the guy?” The blonde asked this question hesitantly, her intuition telling her that this was a far more sensitive area to touch than her story with Bella, as unbelievably horrible it might have been.

Lena finished chewing her own bite but instead of doing it faster, like Kara, she took her time, savoring each second, or using them as firepower for her next words. She swallowed it and paused letting her eyes fall down to the left, away from Kara.

“Chad was…” She placed the burger down as if recalling these memories were a task energy-consuming enough. “He was my biggest lesson, let’s put it that way.”

“What do you mean?” She was intrigued. She didn’t know what to expect, only that she was not expecting, at all, the story that followed.

“He was my kryptonite.” Lena put the other foot up on the couch and leaned back, holding her head with one hand, her elbow resting on the arm of the couch.

“But kryptonite hurts, Lena.” Kara put her food in the bag on the table and like Lena, leaned back, letting her brows furrow and her eyes rest on Lena’s eyes.

“Exactly.” She answered, weakly winking at Kara which made the younger girl’s body flood with a current of iced blood, making her tremble and her hairs stand.

“Chad and I were best friends, or so I thought.” She began, hesitant still. “I met him a few months after getting together with Bella. He was in my advanced physics class and he was as charming and funny as he could be.” Lena fidgeted with the rim of her dress with nervous fingers.

“Just like with Bella, our friendship grew very quickly and soon we became a sort of a trio.” Kara was listening attentively. “He was my science partner in classes too. After Bella started acting strange, Chad was always on my side, trying to talk to her, calling her out, and being there for me.”

In between Kara’s eyebrows, there was a deep vertical line that used to appear when she was either focusing really hard or not enjoying what she was hearing. In this case, it was both. She was nervous to know the rest.

Lena told her a story spared of details like the story before, or the first story she had shared with Kara back in that karaoke bar on Lena’s birthday.

Chad had once been her savior. He had picked her up from a deep blue hole she had fallen into after her mother, her brother, her father, and Bella. It had all happened at once it seemed to her.

“Lex was arrested not long before what happened with Bella.” Her words weren’t as fast as they used to be. Each and every word and phrase was pondered as if measured not to say too much, or to show too much which made Kara sad. “As much as I wanted it not to affect me, it did, quite a lot… Chad was there to lift me up through that.” She swung one leg at a time over the couch to sit up straight and then crossed one leg over the other.

Kara continued focused and in silence, waiting for more.

“After Bella left me, soon after my father died due to some sketchy schemes.”

“I remember you telling me that, about your dad, I mean.” Kara said after Lena paused for some seconds. Lena was upset by those memories, it was as crystal clear to the younger girl. “Gosh Lena,” Kara couldn’t stand being so far away from Lena at this moment. She got up and sat next to her. “I’m really sorry. It was all together.” They were close but not as much as they had been before dinner, but for now, it had to be like this. Kara didn’t want to scare her away or seem pushy. She was there to listen.

Lena gasped a peal of small laughter, saying “Tell me about it!”

“But Chad was there. That must have helped?”

The older woman laughed with irony. “Chad helped me a lot but he was the worst of them all as well.”

Lena and Chad dated on and off for 2 years and then for another 3 years without breaks. She told Kara how after she got over Bella, she started having feelings for Chad. He was the only one there and after it all, she was aware, it was expected.

“Anyway. To spare you the details and an awful headache on my part,” Lena said quickly, more naturally it seemed to Kara. “he became very controlling and crazy throughout the months. He was overprotective to the point of not letting me meet other people or even, sometimes, locking the door and not letting me outside of the house.

“Oh my God, Lena!” Kara’s hand flew to Lena’s knee. “I can’t believe it. It must have been awful for you, I am so sorry!”

Lena bit her lip and tried to swallow the knot that had formed in her throat.

“Thank you, Kara.” She placed a hand on Kara’s but stood up after, and took three steps, crossing her arms and facing the window, not Kara, “I should’ve done something before. I know I should have, but I felt powerless, completely stuck in that relationship. It started a dream until it wasn’t and he finally showed his true colors...” She walked towards the parapet where the city light shined like blurred fireflies.

“No, Lena. It wasn’t your fault!” Kara stood up after her.

“In a way, it was.” She heard Kara’s deep ‘No’ but ignored it even though it warmed her heart. “I should’ve seen it coming. There were red flags. I was just too needy and lost to do anything.”

Kara’s eyes were starting to tingle and become red with the thought, but she fought back the tears.

“He took advantage when you were at your most vulnerable.” She walked towards her. “He was in the wrong. There must have been something very, very wrong with him. Not you!” Her tone was a mixture of concern, grief, and wrath. “It’s not your fault you were abused however he abused you.”

Lena smiled dearly. The knot on her throat a little softer.

“I don’t know… It’s been a pattern throughout my life, so I don’t know.” She looked away but Kara reached for her hand on the parapet which made her look back at her again.

“How so?” Kara bit her lower lip, her brows still close together in worry and discontent.

“Every single person in my life, every relationship I’ve had, no matter how well and dreamy it began, always seemed to fall down the drain, for one reason or other. Just like a tightrope. Unstable and doomed to break.” Lena looked down and Kara saw a sudden tear fall which surprised them both. Lena jumped to wipe it away with two gentle fingertips, turning slightly away from Kara. The blonde felt a burst of sadness and courage and need, need to do something, not to stand there, not to lecture her or show her any kind of pity. She only wanted to show her love and acceptance. Stability.

“Lena, no…”

She couldn’t control herself, neither did she want to. Before she could stop to think, she reached for Lena’s hand, grabbing lightly on her wet fingertip which turned Lena’s attention back to her, and reached forward, pushing herself against her, allowing her lips to press to the older woman’s gently and yet hard, determined.

Lena’s eyes flew open wide with startlement and her breathing stopped for the whole time their lips touched but she didn’t pull away, she didn’t move.

Kara held her fingers still. Her heartbeat pounding fast and loud. She felt it everywhere. Everything in her rushed, trembled, pounded. Their mouths opened slightly and Lena kissed her back, moving her head rhythmically with hers and ripping a very soft moan from Kara’s core.

Kara stopped herself and pulled away and took a step back, drawing back the hand that had been grabbing Lena’s and covering her lips with it.

Lena stood there, confused like her, not really knowing where to look or what to do after that. She licked her lips and furrowed her own strong brows.

Kara’s mind rushed on 100 possible reasons as to why what she did was completely wrong. She felt the taste of Lena’s tear on her lips.

“I’m s-” She gulped and with the same hand that touched her lips she fixed her glasses. “I’m sorry, Lena.” She started to turn away and rush to grab her things. “I shouldn’t have done that.” She grabbed her coat and the door handle.

“Kara wait!” Lena said, stopping her but not moving from the same spot. “The book…” But she couldn’t finish her sentence.

Kara looked at the sofa and quickly grabbed the book, whispering another “I’m sorry.” Before leaving and closing the door behind her.

Lena sat down at her desk slowly, feeling the rush in her body start to settle. She took a hand to her face and rubbed her forehead with a guilty expression.

“Fuck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELL YES FINALLY!
> 
> Plus, you guys, can we all stand as one and comment, to my dear friend Maggs who hasn't yet read my work as she said she would do multiple times (including on my birthday, tsk tsk shady), 'MAGGS STOP BEING A FAKE FRIEND AND GO READ THIS'. I need to make a point.  
> thank youu ♡＾▽＾♡


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. Thank you so much for all of your comments. I read and apreciate each and every one of them and I thank you so so so much for all your kind (and some hilarious) words. You guys really keep my flame for this alive.  
> Last chap I got more comments than usual so I couldn't respond to all but know that I see and read them and that they fill my heart with a thousand butterflies.

“I can’t believe I did this”

“I seriously cannot believe I did this!”

Kara’s glasses were fallen on her pillow while she paced back and forth on the tiny double bedroom. Her voice was shaky and with it, she shook her hands on either side of her body.

“Kara, would you stop for a moment and tell me what the hell you did?!” Alex was sitting on the chair on the foot of her bed, one leg up with her feet rested on it and she sipped water from her green plastic bottle.

Kara didn’t stop.

“Kara you’ve been walking around like a mad person for fifteen minutes. Tell me already!” Alex had seen Kara like this only a few times. Either when the younger sister felt she really, really messed up or when she was really nervous about something. “What happened?”

Kara stopped and stood still for a couple of seconds only to quickly sit on her bed and drag her feet up, resting her forehead on her knees and start crying.

Alex was startled by the sudden sobbing coming through her little sister. She quickly got up from her chair and went to her, grabbing her and massaging her arms in comfort.

“Hey, hey, hey. Kara?” The younger girl let herself fall on her sister’s arms, rested her head on her shoulder and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “I’m here. Just tell me what happened. You’re really worrying me.”

Kara sniffed and said with her voice breaking, “I kissed her. I kissed her, Alex.”

The older sister’s eyes flew open and her mouth fell.

“Oh my God!” She was excited and bewildered and turned her head to Kara forcing the little sister to look back at her, but her expression quickly changed to one of care and expectancy of bad news. “Oh God, did it go wrong?”

Kara shook her head no. “I don’t think so.”

“Did she reject you though?” She asked.

“No.” ‘Definitely no’ she thought. Alex was confused.

“What? Okay, then why on Earth are you crying like this Kara?”

Kara sniffed again and got up to look across the window like she had looked across Lena’s, but it didn’t feel the slightest like it had. Not even close.

“She was telling me stories of hers and how she was in abusive relationships. How she had gone through all of these awful, awful things that terrible people had done to her.” She clenched her fist with rage. “All of these people in her life took advantage of her and used and abused her in all sorts of ways. They hurt her and played her when she was at her most vulnerable, taking advantage of that.” A tear fell from her eye and she cleaned it, taking a look at Alex but quickly looking back at the window, not being able to face anyone, and she shared this truth that to her felt worthy of punishment.

“She was opening up to me. She was vulnerable and she was crying and I kissed her.”

Alex remained silent listening to her sister's words, trying to understand them as best as she could and trying to think of something right to say.

“I can’t believe I just did that to her. I don’t want her to feel someone took advantage of her and I did that!” She banged her fist on the window’s parapet with such strength that it tore her flesh on her knuckle. She grabbed her fist in pain, clenching her teeth together. Alex got up and grabbed her wrist, bringing her back to her bed. She grabbed a tissue and gently pressed it against Kara’s newly opened wound.

“Kara, I think those things are different. I don’t think you took advantage of her.” Kara looked small in her tall, lengthy body with these big crying eyes. “You kissed her out of true, genuine sentiment. It’s obvious you already care so much for her.”

“But I kissed her still. I shouldn’t have done that. Not like that. Not at that moment.” She cleaned her nose again and Alex reached in her backpack’s front pocket where she had just put her tissues. Kara blew her nose loudly.

“How did she respond? What did she do?”

“She kissed me back. I think.” Kara laid her head on her sister’s legs and stayed there with Alex’s fingers on her scalp making circles, calming her like she’s always done.

“You think?”

“She did. I don’t know. I felt so bad for kissing her that I just, I ran…”

“Oh, so that’s why you were so accelerated when you got here…” Alex was laughing now.

“Alex, please don’t mock me. I am in pain. I think I might be dying from panic or, or even worse, from stupidity! Check my pulse.” Kara grabbed Alex’s hand and placed it on her neck.

“You’re alive missy. You’ll get through this one.” Kara grunted and covered her eyes.

“It felt so wrong for many, many reasons.” She left her sister’s lap and looked out the window once more. “But it also felt so right. So, so right.” She couldn’t help but smile, but that smile was broken by the shaking of her head from side to side. “No.” She got up and hit the floor with her foot as if she were stepping on some bug. “It was wrong. I have to apologize to her.”

“Kara… But if she kissed you back…”

“I don’t know anymore. My head is racing. I need some rest.”

‘How will I even find the courage to look at her NOW? Gosh Kara, why must you be so impulsive!!!’ She thought.

So they went to sleep. It was near 11 PM by then and an hour later, Kara was still awake. She couldn’t turn off the electricity flowing through her and every bit of memories and flashbacks from that day’s afternoon. Their stories shared. Their hands together and looking to comfort the other. Their lips together.

Despite loving the fact that they had kissed, and that Lena seemed to have kissed her back, Kara dwelled on the belief that she had taken advantage of her in her vulnerable state, and for that, she couldn’t forgive herself.

She felt the need to reach over to that woman and apologize to her, to call her, send her an email. But she then noticed that she didn’t have any form of contact with her but chance. They’d always met by chance. That notion made her belly tingle. She felt it was destiny or some sort of it. She didn’t know. She just knew and felt this extremely strong pull towards this woman, the same pull that had pushed her against the brunette’s lips not three hours ago and that still vibrated in her.

She felt a mixture of pleasure and guilt, of happiness and sadness, of love and hate.

She bit her lips as she muttered the F word without really saying it. Profanity had never been her thing. Her hands wandered to her eyes and rubbed them shut but as she did that, her elbow glazed against an object and made it almost tumble to the floor, but Kara caught it in time not to wake her sister. She turned on the small light on her bedside table.

“‘Physics of love, A quantum love story’ ” She read in a sighed whisper.

She opened it and started reading it. She didn’t put the book down until 3 AM when she was completely caught by sleep.

Lena didn’t sleep at all that night. Perhaps an hour or two only. Talking about some of her ghosts had brought back nightmares and bad memories, yet, the only thing soothing her night was the afternoon she had spent with Kara. Their conversations and how Kara had actively listened to her warmed her heart. She could feel Kara’s truth and authenticity like she had never felt in anybody else her entire life.

But most importantly, what kept her awake, above it all, was that kiss. That short-lived kissed they had shared. That Kara had given her and that she, despite her shock, had returned even for a slight moment only.

But her mind too was racing faster than bullets. Every possible reason as to why Kara had cut it short was passing by her. Why she had ran. Every justification to how she let herself be kissed like that too, how wrong it was, morally and ethically. How it shouldn’t, no, couldn’t happen again.

Lena poured herself a glass of whiskey to help her think. She ought to stop this drinking, she thought. She was noticing that she had started doing it more and more.

She was confused. She was angry at herself for letting herself fall for a student so young and pure, but she was also angry at the world for not allowing such a crush, a passion, to be accepted. She didn’t know. Her mind was racing.

She couldn’t figure out what to do next…

During the first period the next morning, Kara fell asleep on her desk still grabbing the book Lena had given her. The class was stopped and everyone’s attention was on her, once again.

Kara was dreaming of Lena’s lips and her soft touch on her hands, on her legs. It wasn’t the first time and she never knew quite how to feel about those dreams while in them and after waking. In them, she usually experienced whatever happened to the fullest. She let herself go, let the woman command her, command the woman, bend and stand and lay and move as they pleased. But in the morning she felt shame and guilt for creating such disrespecting images about Lena that left such a sweet taste on her tongue.

She felt a nudge on her arm. Something pointy. She opened one eye and felt it again, she looked to her arm and found James’ finger poking her.

“Wake up, sleeping beauty. Everyone’s looking at you.”

She jumped with James’ whisper and let her belongings fall on the ground, breaking the silence the room was emerged in.

“Shoot.”

“Good morning Miss Danvers.” Said the professor.

“How does he know my name?” She questioned quietly. “I’m sorry, Mr. Johnson. It won’t happen again.”

“So,” James began. “Big night last night?” He tapped his index and middle finger on his notebook.

“No, um” She fixed her glasses. “I was up late studying.”

He hummed.

“So,” he continued. “How was your meeting with Lena.” He wasn’t looking at her. He was facing the blackboard and the professor.

Kara found this question to be strange and filled with second intentions. She squinted her eyes.

“It was good. Thank you for asking. How was yours?”

“Mine was great. We are going on a date.” She looked at him but only through the corners of her eyes, blinked twice and looked back ahead. “You were there, you heard.” He said.

She fixed her glasses.

“She said she’ll have a coffee with you. That doesn’t necessarily mean date, but you know.” ‘Whatever you need to tell yourself’ She thought to herself.

He frowned and laughed a nervous laugh.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say someone is a little jealous.” He had a threatening look on. Intimidating, but only a stubborn boy’s tantrum, Kara intuited.

“Who, me?” She played clueless. “No.”

“I mean I get it, Kara, I do.” He placed a hand on her knee. “I’m irresistible.”

“Oh god.” She eye-rolled and took off his hand from her leg, grabbing it with only two fingers which made him laugh.

At the end of the first period, they got together with Winn and Alex to have lunch.

“Hey, guys. Know who didn’t show up for class today?” Winn asked. Alex asked who while Kara sat down at the table, followed by the others. “Miss Luthor.”

“What? Why?” Kara’s fast tone was obviously worried. Her fists even closed shut and hard around her tray without her meaning to. James noticed this.

“They said she called in sick today. Which is weird. The other guys said they heard she was one of the teachers who had like, perfect attendance. She never misses a class.”

“That’s right.” Said James like he knew her better than everyone else.

“That’s… weird.” Alex and Kara shared accomplice looks. A visual conversation only they could understand but that the guys tried to, anyway.

“What is that look?” Asked James.

“Nothing? Just weird, I mean, to break such a perfect attendance strike. But I guess it happens. Just hope everything’s okay.” Said Alex.

“Yeah. Me too.” His voice was dry and suspicious.

Kara spent the rest of her lunch in silence, claiming to be distracted, just as she was for the next week without seeing or hearing from Lena or even about her. She had returned the next day, but they hadn’t seen each other. Kara made all efforts to avoid her and Lena barricaded herself in her office or in her home as much as she could to try to think herself through.

But Kara kept reading the book Lena gave her. She read it twice and completely missed her basketball practice and forgot about her newspaper column weakly delivery, which ended up making her have a serious knock on her door from Siobhan, her colleague, demanding it.

She made a half-hearted little column about the latest hot topic. Just something she could dispatch without being complete garbage.

After that, it was her and that book, her dreams, the memories the book started to unveil, and the thought of Lena’s lips for the rest of the week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND WE DID IT! we have persuaded Maggs, my friend, to read this!!!  
> Thank you so much TvT


	30. Chapter 30

The book opened some doors Kara hadn’t been expecting and that at first when Lena gave it to her, she hadn’t quite understood the meaning of, but reading it throughout that week made her understand just why exactly.

As she read through entanglement theory, atoms, molecules, particles and waves, emotions and mystical or spiritual experiences she understood what Lena was showing her. And she remembered what they had talked about in that dusky night lit only by the weak orange street lights and the reflection of the moon in the river.

But she had to read it twice. She couldn’t jump to conclusions about this. It was too grand. Too intense to take lightly.

With the book, clearer memories from the party night came to her and she remembered completely now what they had talked about. The moments they had shared. How Lena understood exactly what Kara was talking about and how she made Kara understand her own idea a little better too.

The thing is, it wasn’t a simple idea. It was a feeling that had been growing in Kara ever since she saw that woman. But it also seemed so unbelievable.

Kara, again, as she usually does when she does not know what to do about something or someone, avoided encountering Lena during the week she read the book.

The guilt from kissing her had been too great and she just couldn’t yet find the courage that in her sometimes inflames and bursts.

Not seeing Lena, though, was like seeing the seasons change from afar, without being able to feel them, to smell the spring or to feel the summer sunlight on your cheeks. It was like watching children play and hide in autumn leaves or winter snow without ever being able to touch them or to play along. Not seeing Lena was like a heartache she didn’t know she was able to have, different from all the ones she’s had. That week, for Kara, had been intense, filled with memories, longing, and guilt.

Lena, however, experienced a different kind of week, mostly barricaded in her office from 5 PM to 11, in the blind hope the girl might show up again, she didn’t know what for, nor what she wanted to happen. She wasn’t sure. But she too felt the need and desire to see her again.

She was still battling with her desires and her ethics. She wasn’t sure what she should do. I mean, she knew what she should do. Ignore this. Don’t get involved. You’re going to hurt her anyway. All your relationships end in pain. You’ll end up hurting. You could get fired if anybody knew what had happened…

These were some of the voices that sung in her head as she sat in her white and silver chair, looking over the horizon or at papers. And they were the same ones that told her exactly what she wanted to do. Go after her. Look for her. Where is she? She’s special. Don’t waste this. Look for more. You want more. Give her more. It can be done. Let yourself love again.

It was a hard choice and it was weighing on and absorbing Lena like thick quicksand.

At the end of the week, Kara had that burst of courage. She’d finished the book twice. She hadn’t talked much with her sister or Winn and they were starting to worry. But still, in one of her classes, scribbling down thoughts instead of notes, she wrote something she had told Lena once:

‘When you like something, when you like someone, I don’t believe giving up is an option. I think you should always try. Trying doesn’t hurt and could do a lot for you…’

And what made her change her mind:

‘There is always the unlikely chance they will like you back.’

And that was it. She got her things, shoved them in her bag and stood up. In the middle of the class and left. Just like that, without a clear thought besides those words, she walked like a bullet towards Lena’s office.

It wasn’t yet 5 PM. It was 4:25 but Kara knocked regardless. Three confident knocks that echoed into the hallway and made her ears buzz.

A few seconds passed without answer so Kara lifted her hand again, closing her fist to knock again when she heard, ‘Come in.’

She grabbed the handle and entered.

Lena was inside sitting at her desk with her hands on the laptop. Seeing Kara, she stood up slowly, her eyes stuck on the younger woman’s. Her motion, slow and steady seemed to last forever and only a second. Kara didn’t understand how this could be, but looking at Lena, startled by her appearance, made her forget what she had to say. Now she was just standing there, wordless, mouth slightly open, blue-oceans on emerald-greens.

“Kara!...” Lena broke the silence but didn’t move past her desk.

Kara was still in silence, without knowing what to say.

Lena looked at her hand and back at her and that gave Kara an idea of where to start. The book.

“I’ve- I’ve come to give this back to you.” But Lena didn’t answer, she just kept on looking, waiting for something more. “No, I didn’t.” She squinted her eyes and gave a weak smile. “I did, but, that wasn’t why I came...” She looked around. “Frankly, I don’t know for sure why I came.” She noticed Lena’s expression change with her last words which made her bite her tongue and purse her lips together. “No, I do know.” She sighed a thick wind of air and shook her free hand to get rid of her nerves. “Jesus! Why is this so hard.” She said more to herself than to Lena.

“Kara…” Lena intervened or tried to, but Kara started a monologue, trying to tell Lena something and clear it out to herself as well.

“I read the book you gave me. I read it twice. And I get why you gave it to me, I think.” Her words were fast and calm, a contradiction Lena had trouble reading. “I read it and I get it. Or at least I feel it…” She took a step forward, a single step and Lena did so too but the distance between them was still greater than they both could tolerate for much longer.

“Lena, I feel it with you. Ever since the first moment we met, the first moment I saw you, I felt a connection with you. Like you’re light and I’m a moth. Drawn to you. I’ve felt this way since the beginning.” Now her words were fast and it surprised them both as they left her mouth without any means to stop or slow down.

“You’re my mystical experience. The ones we talked about two weeks ago. The ones you told me people have. I have it with you. And I know this is totally nuts and unethical and I’m risking a lot here, but you’re it!”

Kara’s heart was beating fast, so fast she felt she could fall at any second and Lena’s wasn’t far behind. Slightly slowed down by shock.

“You said these experiences and the feeling of oneness with something change people. A change they can’t come back from. Remember?” She paused but not to wait for an answer, which Lena didn’t give, but to think on what to say next. “I feel different when I’m with you. I think you changed me or at least whatever this is between us, and please don’t tell me there isn’t something, whatever this is conducted a change in me and I think you feel it too.”

Wow, Kara, bold. She thought, and she was starting to feel the gigantic need to back down, turn around and runoff, but she was fighting it with every fiber in her, for at least a little longer.

“You’ve affected my body and my mind. And you’ve affected how I look at things, how I see myself and how I can be… Jesus, damnit.”

“Kara…” That’s all Lena was able to say, all she had said since Kara entered.

“I’m still not sure how this thing works, frankly, I only really understood so much of the book. But I think that the love and the attraction they talked about on it exists. I think that connection exists because I feel it with you! It’s the only way I could justify how on Earth I feel so drawn to you. How I went to look for you in that party without knowing it, or how I seem to have a compass with you as north or how I get so weird with you around, dropping trays and all…”

She was breathing fast. She took another step forward but Lena didn’t do the same this time. She held herself, leaning over the table with one hand on her belly just resting there, gazing at Kara without a break, taking in everything she was saying, taken aback by such a demonstration. One she had never received before. It was new, just like this feeling, like this, particularly.

They stayed there for what seemed like forever, looking at each other from afar without moving, breathing thick and trembling.

Kara said it all, She felt lighter but something was still weighing on her.

“And Lena, I’m sorry for what I did last time I was here. I shouldn’t have done that. I want you to know that I didn’t mean to take advantage of you, at all. I’m so, so sorry…”

Lena didn’t answer. She was trying to manage all this information. So that was it. That’s why she had run away like that. That made her think and feel even more fondly of her and it made smile dearly, but Kara was looking down at her shaky hands and missed it.

“Kara…” She said, but her voice came out weak and shaky. She took a step forward but her hand still rested on the table but only with the tips of her fingers now.

Kara’s breathing was harder and louder now. She couldn’t take being there anymore and all her courage was gone, like a battery after working too hard.

“There.” She walked to place the book on Lena’s coffee table. “Thank you, Lena. I’d better- I’ll go now.” She said, fast. And she turned away, quicker than Lena could stop her, and she left, leaving the door open.

Lena, still baffled, took a deep breath, unsure of what to do but as she felt her lungs fill, she decided, “What the hell!” So she went after her.

She could see the blonde woman’s hair neatly in a sort of a bun, her walk determined and hesitant at the same time. She didn’t call for her, not that it was needed. Kara knew she was being followed due to the echoing of the sound of Lena’s high heels against the cold wooden floor. But she didn’t look back, she couldn’t, and she didn’t stop, but her walk was slower, near the bathrooms.

Lena walked faster, looked around, and in a quick move she reached for Kara and pulled her into the closet room just before the bathrooms, pushing her against a cabinet and closing the door shut behind them, locking it behind her back in a flash, so that she could get to Kara as soon as possible.

Kara let her bag slide from her shoulder and fall next to her and her hands searched to grab Lena’s waist that somehow was now within reach of her. Lena launched herself to Kara, holding her face with both her hands and sealing their lips together without much wait, taking the wheel this time, not hesitant, without any doubts.

The kissing started strong but slow, not breaking in but with intentions to do it. Lena was glad she chose these heels for today cause right now she was just at Kara’s level, their lips perfectly aligned, destined to share a touch. Kara couldn’t help letting go some little moans, of pleasure sure, but mostly of happiness, of lack of air.

Their lips worked around each other, their heads followed with ease, Lena’s hands traveled to Kara’s neck, her shoulders, her arms, gripping her tightly, not wanting to let go, afraid that she ever would have to.

Kara’s hands were less daring, not sure where they should land, not sure where she could land them without breaking or overstepping. The last thing she wanted to do was push her away. So she pulled her in closer, by the hips, so that they touched. So that they were as close as they could. She grabbed her waist, which she noticed was starting to move in motions she had never felt move against her before, and she pressed against her back, moving her hands eagerly against it, sometimes grabbing Lena’s Prussian-blue shirt, pulling her away from her skin and letting go so that she could grab her hips again.

All Kara could think of, if she had been thinking at all, would be the repetition of ‘Oh my God’ or ‘I can’t believe this’. Feeling Lena so close to her felt like a magic trick. Unbelievable and amazing. Lena’s motions, her lips and her tongue that had started trying to make its way in, touching Kara’s lower lip first, very lightly in a kiss, and then in other, as they parted for some air, she licked the center of her upper lip, in what Kara could only describe as a ‘Come here’ motion.

Kara returned the kiss just like Lena was asking for her to do, despite her little experience in that sort of thing. But Lena didn’t complain. In fact, her motions became more sure, harder, stronger, closer and looser all at once and gradually.

They stayed there, in each other’s embrace for a while, until it wasn’t enough for Kara anymore and she made Lena and herself turn and with conviction pushed Lena against the cabinet Lena had pushed her moments ago, as a payback perhaps.

Kara kissed her deeper, made Lena gasped and moaned a little louder than Kara had been doing. She pushed herself against the brunette, holding her hands back now, her legs intertwined, which made Kara hyper-aware of Lena’s crotch on her upper thigh but she wasn’t planning on doing anything, she wasn’t expecting anything either, but Lena, without really realizing it, started pushing against Kara’s leg, little motions, forward and back, circles from left to right.

That made Kara lose all her strength and her legs started to give in, forcing her to retrieve it, which made her part their lips and made Lena feel slightly bad and apologize.

“Sorry.” She said, completely against the cold cabinet.

“No, no, no. I just,” She couldn’t finish the sentence, she chose to seal their lips again, which made Lena bang her head against the hard surface.

“Oh my god! I’m sorry!” Both women’s eyes were wide open, but Lena closed them and started laughing. Kara laughed too, genuinely.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.” Lena said. And grabbed Kara’s face again, barely seeing it because of the low light that entered only through under the door. Lena backed away from the cabinet and Kara took a step back. “We really shouldn’t be doing this, you know?”

“I know,” Kara said and grabbed Lena’s hands, kissed one and then grabbed her hips firmly. “But doesn’t it feel so right?”

Lena looked at her right in the eyes that glowed even in this darkness like some crazy, unbelievable, magic creature. “Hmhm.”

And at that Kara made them rotate again so that Lena was now between her and the door, parallel to the cabinet and pushed her against it by her arms but not aggressively. With desire. A flame she couldn’t, nor wanted to put out.

But Lena’s watch banged against the door and made a loud and thin voice on top of the muffed sound of her body that could certainly be heard from outside.

Their eyes flew open again and Lena covered Kara’s mouth with her hand because Kara was starting to laugh. They stayed there for some seconds, trying to listen for some noise, hoping they wouldn’t. And they didn’t, not until they started kissing again anyway, at which point they heard someone trying to enter the room. The door handle being turned and the door itself being forced against its lock.

They stopped startled and Lena covered Kara’s mouth again, their eyes widened, and their bodies were now far from the door.

“Shit!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!!!!
> 
> I'm on vacation and I don't really have internet here so answering your comments is hard but I see them ALL when I hit the café (that has free wifi eheh ) and they literally warm my heart so much you guys have no idea!  
> I hope you like this chapter. It ended up slightly bigger than the other ones I have written but I'm sure it won't be a problem ;)
> 
> Happy readings and much love to you all who have been reading and supporting me <3


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! It's great to come back. I had the biggest writer's block and I procrastinated getting out of if a whole lot but i am back. Thanks for being so patient. :'{
> 
> Love, Bruna (Mafruna)

There they stayed panting for a couple of seconds, unable to move or figure out what to do next, so they just waited.

“Oh God, what do we do now?” Kara whispered, secretly hoping Lena would shush her with a new kiss, allowing their kiss to dance in harmony again. But Lena just stood quietly after letting out a quiet “shhh”. So Kara stood still too, feeling the touch of Lena’s fingertips on her stomach where they laid with a comfortable pressure. “Wait”.

Someone tried to open the door again and a couple of seconds after a voice followed.

“Hi, Mr. Johnson!” Lena gasped.

“Who is it?!” Asked Kara, feeling Lena’s hand tense up.

“It’s Jess. Shit.”

“Who’s Jess?” Kara asked with a hint of jealousy but mostly nervous curiosity.

“My assistant.” She removed her hand and looked around for something, anything. The girl Lena identified continued talking.

“I can’t seem to get this open.” Now keys were heard as they tingled and hit each other.

“Shit, shit. Fuck. Okay. Think Lena!” The older woman said to herself.

“It’s probably just some kids… something inside.” The janitor’s deep voice was hard to hear through the door.

“Okay.” Lena straightened herself up and started fixing her hair and clothes quickly, trying to soothe any wrinkles or proof of any fuss that might have happened. “Kara hide.” Her voice was fast.

“Hide? Where??” She looked around in a rush, barely being able to see anything, even if there were enough light in that room.

“Jesus, these people. Can’t seem to get it in their pants, right?” Said Jess in her nasal voice.

Mr. Alfred laughed. “Tell me about it!” And now the keys were in the lock, turning once…

“Lena?” Kara asked and Lena turned on the light switch which made them flinch and close their eyes shut. Once back open, in a matter of seconds, as the key was being turned a second time, Lena pushed Kara toward a wall next to the door and the blonde woman stayed there behind the opening door, only a few inches from it.

“Meet me by the main gate in 10. Let’s go to the beach.” Said Lena, kissing Kara’s lips so, so fast, leaving a taste of almost anything at all, and turning even faster to grab some lost documents that happened to be hidden just beside a cabinet.

“To the beach? Lena, it’s freezing!”

They pushed the door and Lena shushed the younger girl once again.

“Miss Luthor?” Said Jess. As the door opened all the way, trapping Kara and missing her by only a little, Lena turned around as if startled.

“Oh God, Jess. You scared me!”

“Oh hello, Miss Luthor. How 'you doing?” Mr. Alfred, a rather old man, took his hand to his hat, lifting it only a little, greeting Lena with respect.

“Hello, Mr. Alfred, how’s the wife?” Her voice was slightly trembling. Kara was holding her breath as if her life depended on it.

“She’s good, better even, thank you, Miss Luthor.” For a moment they stayed looking at each other awkwardly.

“So um… the door was locked.” Said Jess, flinching her eyes.

“It sure was indeed, Miss Luthor, but it might have been just a weird accident, sometimes these old doors seem to get a life of their own, locking, creaking. I swear sometimes I open one and the son of a- ” He stopped his rambling and looked at the two women. “Pardon my speech, ma’ams. But what I was saying is that sometimes they seem to laugh even. God knows.”

Lena nervously laughed, Jess followed suit.

“Indeed, Mr. Alfred, it might have been that. I came here to get some documents and I probably must have locked it out of habit, I can’t even remember” She smiled and stood up even straighter.

“Can I help with those, Miss Luthor?” Offered Jess.

“Sure, Jess, thank you. Anyway, let’s not hover here, shall we?” And she left, walking through the door and into the hallway like nothing happened, but secretly letting out a sigh of relief.

She wished a good day to the janitor and instructed Jess to follow her into her office.

“She’s a good one, this Luthor.” Said Mr. Alfred under his breath to himself. “Not like that brother of hers…” Then he left, but Kara heard him and couldn’t help but smile.

As soon as she thought the coast was clear, she took that deep breath she much needed and stepped away from the wall and toward the opened door, still confused as to what Lena meant exactly by ‘Let’s go to the beach’. But despite that, she peeked to see if she could go, and seeing no one, she ran for it.

Already in her office, Lena saw Kara running and chuckled a little, ducking her head down and shaking it slightly from one side to the other.

“Everything alright Miss Luthor?” Asked Jess, finding her boss’ behavior a little out of the ordinary.

“Oh, yes, yes, thank you, Jess, you can leave those right there.” She went to grab her coat and her bag and made her way to the door and she put on her scarf. “Jess will you clear the rest of my schedule for today? And tell that annoying lawyer that I do not have any intentions on testifying.”

“Certainly, Miss Luthor, right away.”

As Kara made her way towards the main gate, she bumped into Winn, dropping her bag on the floor.

“Oh my God, Kara!” He got down on one knee to help her grab her stuff. “Or should I say, stranger?”

“Oh, Winn, I’m sorry.” They stood up and she fixed her glasses.

“You’ve been… absent. Are you okay? I have been talking to Alex but she says you haven’t really talked much to her lately either. What is going on?” He held her bag in his hand, not letting it go.

“I’m good. I’m sorry for being so absent lately, I really am.” She looked down and moved her foot from side to side. She had been so lost in Lena that she now saw that she seemed to have ghosted her best friend and her sister. She felt bad for it. “I guess I just lost myself a little in a thing, I’ve been focused on other things. I’m sorry Winn.”

“It’s okay Kara, we were just worried…”

“Aaaah I feel so bad!”

“Oh Kara, come on,” He drew her in for a hug. “It’s okay really. Are you okay though? What thing is this you’re so into?" His face became inquisitive on Kara’s shoulder with a certain fragrance he was catching. It wasn’t Kara’s for sure, but it was familiar… Strange.

He didn’t really think to mention it until later after Kara told him she would tell them all about it soon, as she walked away from him in a rush.

She looked at her clock and it had already passed 8 minutes since she left the closet room and now she waited by the main gate for Lena.

Lena arrived just a few moments after, saying only “Shall, we?” and not stopping to look at Kara.

They walked in silence to Lena’s car, which Kara seemed to find interesting. Already inside, she commented “This is a beautiful car, Lena. I didn’t know you drove.” They buckled up.

“Well, I guess I am full of surprises then.” They chuckled together after Lena gave the younger girl a promising look which made her blush and shiver. “No, but the reality is,” that caught Kara’s attention, drawing her eyes back to the woman’s. “I more often get driven. I only drive sometimes.”

“Oh, okay. Why though?”

Lena started laughing quietly, her cheeks now rosy too. “I won’t say.”

“Not fair!” Kara protested. “You have to tell me!” Her eyes didn’t leave Lena’s which were focused on the road now.

“Only if you promise not to tell anyone.” She quickly looked at Kara, which was once again completely caught by surprise by the woman’s beauty.

“Of course I won’t tell! Girl scouts honour.” She had a smile on that wouldn’t nor couldn’t leave her face.

“I usually end the nights with a drink. Occasionally the afternoons…” Lena bit her lip and lifted one eyebrow, expecting Kara’s mockery.

But Kara didn’t laugh, not right away. She pursed her lips close despite the eagerness to laugh. Lena noticed it and giving up, finally said. “Okay, you can mock…” And Kara gave in as well, laughing a little, finding it endearing, but also slightly worrying.

“I don’t think that’s very good for you, you know.” She said, placing her hand on Lena’s forearm.

“I know, come on. It’s only sometimes. I also, very, very often, am too tired to drive. It’s not like I have a drinking problem or anything.” She defended herself.

But Kara couldn’t help it. “Yet.” And she started laughing again.

“Oh come on!” But she laughed too. “Listen, young lady, I am older than you and deserve some respect.” To which Kara answered just by lifting her hands in the air and saying she was sorry, but still laughing.

They remained like that for a couple of moments, enjoying the atmosphere around them, how comfortable it felt to play with each other like that, and also how queer that feeling was, given the fact that they didn’t really know each other that well and given the fact that a minutes ago they had been doing, what they had been doing.

Kara didn’t want to put a tag on whatever had happened in fear it might jinx it. She just wanted for it to happen again, and again, and again. She started thinking about it, every moment, every little aspect of it as her eyes were on the road ahead of them, and she started feeling that warm and fuzzy sensation in her stomach traveling all the way to her lungs, her hands, her toes, her legs and to her core. She crossed her legs in hopes to contain it, which didn’t really work, if only, it accentuated the feeling combined with the car’s motions, so she forced herself to take her mind off of it.

“So you’re taking me to the beach?” She asked Lena.

“Hmhm.”

“In the middle of November?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm” Kara frowned, trying to think why on Earth Lena was taking her there at this time of the year.

“You are aware that it’s very cold outside, right?”

Lena chuckled her words “I am, Kara.” They paused at a red light. Lena took the chance to look at Kara. “Just wait and you’ll see.”

A few minutes after they pulled up at a sandy parking lot and left the car. Lena went in the back and grabbed a bag. “Come on.” She motioned the way with her head.

As they reached the beach, Lena stopped to take in the perfume of the sea and the light breeze that made her ears feel cold. The sun was starting to set, painting the sky a deep shade of orange and yellow. Kara stood by her side and did the same.

“I get it.” At that Lena turned to her slightly and smiled. She knew she’d get it. She somehow knew.

Lena took her hand and walked toward the sandy shore, Kara behind her holding her hand passionately, not wanting to let go.

“Why does your hand feel so much like home?”

Kara bit her lip and felt nervous over Lena’s silence. Had she said anything that could’ve upset Lena? She didn’t know what to do so she caressed Lena’s hand with her thumb and let it go, retrieving it to fix her glasses and to grab the thick wool of her shirt to cover her neck and chin.

Lena noticed this and the absence of Kara’s hand in hers. It was a strange feeling for her, to miss someone’s touch as much as she missed Kara’s. She hadn’t experienced this in so long, she thought she had forgotten how it felt .

“Here.” She took off her scarf and wrapped it around Kara’s neck, freeing her hands.

“Oh Lena, what about you? I don’t want you to be cold.” Kara said worried, grabbing the scarf ready to give it back.

“It’s not a problem, really. I have thick hair.”

Kara sunk into the thick scarf, smelling the fragrance in it, a sweet, sweet fragrance. So feminine, so soft and also so grown up, so powerful. Just like her, she thought.

They walked and walked and they spoke of many things. They spoke of the sand, of the sea, of the sky and its new pastel colors, the pigment of light left behind by a sleepy sun just before the line that divides sky and sea becomes a blur. They spoke of their love for winter and for autumn, but also for spring and summer. Kara was a summer girl, favoring the heat of the sun and the smell of vacation and of long, beautiful and peaceful days. Lena preferred autumn and winter, and the transition between the two when she can be home in her peejays, wrapped around a warm blanket drinking hot tea and reading.

They spoke of their passions as they were swallowed deep into the night and they spoke of their classes, of Kara’s colleagues and of some of Lena’s student stories, the ones that were most funny or warming or heart-breaking. And they spoke of Lena’s first years as a teacher and why she actually decided to become one.

“But why teaching?” Asked Kara, as she began to make a small fire next to them so they would be warm and have some light, intrigued over why Lena, with her talents, chose this life over the life of an investigator or a scientist searching for the cure of cancer or physicist looking for the secrets of time travel.

“I just thought that the best way I could be of use to the community was by helping it be better, but at the root of it. If I can inspire one student, one pupil, to be a better human, to be more hardworking and to learn to question things, I believe I have helped them in the truest and most important form.” They were sitting in a big beach towel Lena brought with her in the bag, just beside some rocks hiding from the breeze. Kara lit up the fire which illuminated Lena’s face, making her eyes sparkle even more and giving her a sort of romantic aura.

“Coming from where I came, with a family of people who used their unbelievable knowledge to hurt people, to hurt society and to create destruction, I could only use that same knowledge I had but for exactly the opposite things. Instead, I chose to create a name outside of my family, or try to, as best as I can, and to help people and societies to become a little better. That’s all I really want.”

Kara’s eyes were now full with emotion, a tear fell and she quickly wiped it as Lena looked at the fire. She knew then she had fallen completely in love and there was no way of backing down now. She was sure. She loved this woman and all she wanted to do was hug her and let that love grow.

So she did, She sat by her and pulled her close into a tight hug, telling her “You are the most beautiful soul I have ever met.” And “You really are special, you know that, right?”

But Lena didn’t know that. She didn’t really think of herself like that and taking in Kara’s words was a hard task, but she wasn’t able to fight them right now, she was just able to let herself be consumed by this joy she was feeling as Kara’s strong arms held her and as her breath brushed against her ear.

She drew back slightly, allowing their noses to touch and her eyes to meet too, and then they both pulled in for a kiss, which remained between them with a strength and will of an army and which created more kisses.

Their lips danced around each other and their tongues invited for more, so they complied, kissing further and deeper, allowing their hands to feel their clothes and to touch their faces, to hold each other.

“You really are, Lena” Kara parted their kiss to tell her once again. She felt Lena didn’t believe her and so she promised herself that she would tell Lena how special she was as many times as she could, for as long as Lena let her.


	32. Chapter 32

Alex was waiting for Kara in their dorm room. Winn had talked to her about their encounter and now she definitely wanted to know what on Earth Kara had her mind on. She waited and waited, only to fall asleep moments before Kara walked through the door with her feet cracking the little grains of sand it still had stuck in her shoes.  
That woke Alex up and she took the opportunity, despite being really tired. She let Kara enter and go to the little toilet they shared. 

Kara made efforts not to wake her sister. It was already around 2 o’clock in the morning. She and Lena had stayed in the beach until late, but when it got too cold and their coats weren’t enough to keep them as warm as their hearts felt, they decided to leave and go somewhere. They ended up in Lena’s car in a lonely parking lot that served as a viewpoint, looking down at the city lights and its slow, gloomy and seldom living.

They talked their hearts out about everything that came to mind. Kara felt continuously surprised and amazed by Lena and she knew that she would not lose that feeling anytime soon. And Lena allowed herself to be open and vulnerable, talking freely like she wasn’t used to anymore. Being Lena without the Luthor, being Lena, herself. Not as a teacher or a mentor, not as a boss or a businesswoman. Simply Lena in all her complexity. Something she could only really do once she stood in her home, protected by her walls. But even there she has responsibilities and duties, even there her emails reach her and her work follows her. But not there, with this girl she was so open to get to know. With this younger girl, cute and funny girl. A woman, a young woman, not particularly a girl anymore. A kind young woman that extended her hands towards her with affection, with such amazement that made her think she was truly as special as Kara had told her she was.

But this was extremely wrong and Lena was aware of this. And with this awareness came the fear of losing whatever this was turning out to be, but above that, it came the fear of actually hurting Kara. Taking away her brightness from her, just like a Luthor does. Take away the life and joy from those who pass by them. She was terrified by this. Each kiss, each hug, each entanglement of their fingers, of their feelings aggravated this fear of hers, but at the same time, they gave her this immense strength and hope that this could actually not go so bad. If she allowed herself to simply let herself feel and go with the flow, always careful but also always by her side, how wrong could it go?

Kara flushed and with wool feet, she returned to her bed. She took off her coat, her shirt, her shoes and then her jeans and quickly put on her pyjamas. As she was entering her bed Alex turned on the light switch and held herself up by her elbow.

Kara jumped startled. “Jesus, Alex! You scared the living daylights out of me!”

“I’m glad it’s night then.” Commented Alex, never one to miss an opportunity at a dad joke.

“Haha. Very funny.” Said Kara ironically as she covered herself up and turned to her face her sister. “Did I wake you?”

“Yeah, sort of. I was trying to wait for you but I fell asleep for a second.”

“Oh.” A moment hung. “Why?”

Alex sat on her bed, still half-covered by the thick blanket. “I talked to Winn. You have been kind of weird lately… I want to know what’s going on?”

“Oh, Alex, I-” She didn’t know quite how to address it. She hadn’t had the time to really think about it.

“Is it Ms. Luthor? You dropped that bomb the other day about your kiss and you didn’t talk about it more. I thought you were sad or like, you wanted your time so I didn’t really ask you anything more. I should have, though…” 

“No Alex. I should have come to you, please!”

“Okay… then tell me now. What has been going on?” Alex’s expression was worried. She was worried her sister would end up with a broken heart. She knew how these things worked.

But Kara was not heartbroken. She started smiling, grinning even, and fell back on her bed covering herself to with her blanket to the head and moved her legs in a frenetic manner.

“Kara?” Alex asked, getting up from her bed and moving towards her sister’s. She grabbed her blanket and yanked it from her. “Tell me!”

“Okay!” She was still grinning. “Yes. It’s Lena.”

“Gosh, I knew it!” 

“You did?” Asked Kara.

“I mean, duh. But I don’t think anyone noticed. Except maybe Winn but only because you told him. And Maggie because I might have shared it with her.”

“Oh my God, Alex!” Kara pretended to be offended. “Okay. But you have to promise that what I’m about to tell you stays between us. ONLY us.”

And Alex promised. And with a squeak, Kara sat up, grabbed a pillow, held it tight and told her sister every event from the last couple of week.

“No way! Kara!!!” Alex almost didn’t believe it. “You’re joking me. You’re delusional!”

“No, I am not. It’s very, very true.”

“So she’s bi?” Alex pondered.

“I mean, we didn’t really discuss it but she certainly likes both.” Answered Kara, thinking about it for the first time as well.

“Damnit. I could’ve had her first.” She pouted.

Kara threw her pillow at Alex in an offended way. “You did NOT just say that!”

“Oh, come on. The woman is gorgeous!” And they both agreed. “Hold on.”

“What?” They paused.

“Poor James! “ Alex said. “I mean, not poor, but you know. Oof.”

Kara became very serious all of a sudden. “Yes, about him. I don’t trust him. I definitely do not want him knowing anything about this. I smell trouble when he’s around, I don’t know. Plus his weird crush on her… Let’s just please, keep this between us.” She pleaded, actually worried about it, now that she thought of it.

“Totally. Cross my heart.” Alex promised. “But are you guys a thing? Do you guys have a name for what you’re doing?”

Kara fell back down and put the pillow on her face and grunted. “I don’t know. We didn’t really talk about it. We talked about everything except that, it seems. So I don’t know.” Alex removed the pillow.

“My sister,” her words were slow, “little Danvers,” with dramatic pauses between them, “Dating a teacher. Wow. Just wow.” And she started tickling Kara who, always very ticklish, started laughing hysterically and begging her to stop as she tried to get the words out.

“We’re not dating.” She protested, actually excited about that idea. “I just told you I have no idea what this is.”

“Fine, okay. You are definitely something. I’ve never heard of her opening up to anyone or even her doing anything off the rules. This means something indeed.” Alex stood up. “Just, please. Be careful. You know this is risky, risky business…”

“Yeah… I know…” She remembered that this was, in fact, the reality. This was actually very true and she had to have that in mind. But she was so overjoyed by all of this, all of these feelings, all of Lena that she was getting to know. She didn’t want to waste time fearing what could possibly go wrong when she had this great thing happening right now that felt so, so good.

The next morning Kara was finally able to be productive. She went to practice and wrote 3 little columns for the next three weeks. The basketball game they had scheduled ended up being postponed to the end of the semester due to some irregularities with training and all the bureaucracies it involves, but this was okay to Kara because now they had more time to practice.

But the afternoon seemed to be lacking something, and that something was Lena.

Kara made her way to her office in hopes of finding her there. Lena had been there waiting for Kara to show up as well.

Kara knocked on the door twice.

“Come in!” There it was, Lena’s soft Irish accent. Kara felt weak in her knees.

“Hi there.” Kara entered and closed the door behind her.

“Hello, Kara.” They both felt a strange wave of shyness around each other.

“Hi.” Kara ducked her head down and smiled, looking up again. 

“Come on in!” Lena was hesitant. “Want something to drink? Tea, water?”

“Water, please.” She followed Lena. “I couldn’t stay away… I’m sorry for appearing like this without notice.”

Lena turned around quickly, her brows slightly furrowed and a glass full of water in her hand.

“Don’t be silly. I’m glad you came.” Kara took the water and Lena made her way to her white desk. She grabbed a small paper and wrote something on it, bent over the table with her heel slightly lifted from the floor. Kara took the cup to her lips and gulped the water to freshen up her warming body. 

“Plus, how would you possibly contact me beforehand if you don’t have my number or my email?” She turned around and came closer to Kara with that little paper stuck between her middle and index finger. “Here.”

Kara smiled as she took it, biting her lip as she looked at it. “Thank you, Lena. I thought about this the other day.”

“Me too. Now you can text me anytime you want.”

“I will take you up on that offer, for sure!” Kara put her bag down and took Lena’s hand, a step forward and she leaned in. Lena hesitated at first. Kara stopped and apologized, drawing back a little.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no. It’s okay. It was a reflex.” She looked over to the large window of her office. “Come here.” And she kissed Kara dearly. “I’m not used to this.” She confessed.  
“Neither am I.” She kissed her again, but it had to be fast. Jess could come in at any minute.

“Come sit with me for a while, Kara.”

“Thank you. For yesterday, I mean.” Said Lena as they sat, again, one foot under her leg. “It was lovely.”

“No, Lena. Thank you! Really.” She placed her glass on Lena’s coffee table in front of her. “I’m still in awe.”

Lena chuckled and looked at Kara with loving eyes.

“I don’t usually do this, you know…” She straightened herself. Kara seemed inquisitive so she started to elaborate. “Whatever this thing is between us. I don’t usually do this. Not with students, not with anyone… I don’t even really trust people… yet I feel like I can trust you.”

She bit her lip and took her hand to her hair, fidgeting with it for a while as she spoke. “ I’d like to keep seeing you, like this...”

Kara’s heart sprinted and pumped her blood to her cheeks and ears faster each second. She listened.

“And this is really strange for me. I’m constantly dueling with this notion of right and wrong, of should and shouldn’t. It’s a terrible headache.”

“I’m sorry…” Kara felt this huge need to take the blame for Lena’s ache.

“No, don’t apologize. I knew this could be a possibility.”

“Lena we don’t have to do anything or continue anything if you’re not comfortable. I just want you to be okay.” Kara said, reaching to hold Lena’s hands in hers, to feel her warmth and to stop her fidgeting.

“No, Kara. I want this. I want to give it a try, with you. Because, as wrong as this is, I actually feel better when you’re around.” She smiled with this thought and looked down and then up at the ceiling. “You are like this strange creature full of light that somehow crossed my way. And you just keep transmitting this light of yours. I actually feel better when I am around you.”

Kara was smiling. Her heart near exploding, she was pretty sure. She didn’t know what to say or what to do.

“I believe in the book I gave you.” She retrieved from Kara’s grasp and bent over the arm of the couch to grab the book. “Which, by the way, you left it here the other day.” And she gave it back to Kara who held it close to her chest once again.

Kara laughed. “I’m sorry. I guess I forgot about it. My attention must have strayed somehow.”

Lena chucked but quickly used a serious tone, “Oh really?” Their eyes lingered on each other, blue oceans and green emeralds creating flashes and fireworks between them. The seed of love had just sprouted.

“But really,” Lena continued, her voice altered by the laughter that still wanted to be set free. “What I am saying is that we will have to be careful if we want to give us a try."

Kara placed the book right beside her and sat even closer to Lena. “Lena.” Her voice was breathy. “I want to be with you. I want to try this. However you think is best. I don’t care. I just want to be able to see you like I did yesterday.” She continued. “And I know how terribly ethically wrong this can be seen as, and how it might look from the outside. But I don’t care because you’re worth it.”

“Kara…” Lena clicked her tongue and let her head fall to one side, her eyes gleaming with happiness.

“No, I mean it. And I agree with you. We will be careful. We’ll be sharp and on the lookout and we’ll be more than discreet.”

Lena smiled slowly and Kara followed suit, their hands were together again.

“I just have one request.” Lena broke that moment. 

“Yes, anything.”

“Let’s not put a name to this.” The older woman squeezed the younger’s hand harder.

“Okay.” Kara understood her, but above all, she respected her request. She would not put a name to whatever this was. She would only feel and let Lena feel.

They grinned together and hugged, but it wasn’t much later that their lips found each other again.

They kissed and they lingered in the kisses they shared. They let time pass without any real grasp on it, without sensing it tick by. They were completely engraved in each other when again, they heard a knock on the door that startled them both.

“Jesus, not again!” Grunted Kara. Jumping to stand far enough from Lena.

“Come in!” Said Lena, buttoning up a few buttons on her shirt that had come undone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back to school season!!! I hope you guys have amazing school years to those of you who are studying like me, and I wish great laboral years for the ones that are working. Remember to stay focused and to drink lot's of water!
> 
>  
> 
> Okay guys I have exciting news! I was able to figure out the rest of the path I want this story to take and thinking about how I'm gonna end it made me cry. I got really emotional so I absolutly cannot wait to give that to you guys!!!  
> Now, I think it'll take a little while, knowing myself and how I write at this point, but I'll make sure to make it flowy and reasonable! I'm really excited.  
> Lately I have been having a hard time materializing what I imagine into words so I haven't posted as much as I wish I had, so apologies for that.


	33. Chapter 33

Jess entered the room, perky yet gloomy as always, her thin nose always up unless she was talking to Miss Luthor, and behind her entered James.

“Good evening, Miss Luthor. Mr. Olsen is here to see you again.” You could tell by her tonality that she liked James which didn’t surprise Lena, but it did surprise Kara, whose eyes widened either by hearing the name of the boy or because she understood Jess’ tone.

He entered, big and cocky. “Well hello again, Miss Luthor.” He stopped, looked at Kara with a rather strange expression, not as playful as he usually does, but returned his eyes to the older woman. “You’ll have to forgive me, but Miss Luthor you look ravishing!” His eyes roamed her body as predator roams for prey.

“Now James, you know that is highly inappropriate.” She crossed her arms firmly, walking over to her desk. She looked over her shoulder to match her eyes to Kara’s whose fury could fume from her ears but somehow she still kept a believable smile on although her jaw was clenched hard under her cheeks, defining her features with a new type of beauty.  
Lena couldn’t help noticing this and stopped to simply take that in, for a small second, and in that fraction of time, she felt incredibly attracted to the blonde woman standing there, half awkwardly grabbing her bag from the floor, half just standing there, unsure where she should go. Lena saw in Kara once again a series of womanly features and characteristics. Age would suit her, she thought and for a scary moment there she suddenly felt this sharp need to see age in Kara; to be there with her when it arrives and it starts to show.

“Miss Luthor your lawyer insists on coming to see you. That it is crucial you meet with him and also, he said your brother sent for you again.” Jess’ thin voice seemed to echo in the silence of the room. She handed Lena a series of papers, with a shy and practical smile on but Lena didn’t smile. She gave her a rather punishing look, harsh. One that said ‘you should discuss these things with me in private.’

“Kara was on the way out. I’ll give you that article we talked about next time, I promise.” Oh, the sweet release of a white lie. Lena’s calmness masked well the anxiety she was feeling now. To play it cool was the best option with this.

Kara nodded and thanked Lena politely, excusing herself and leaving the room, hearing lastly Lena enquiring “What brings you here this time, Mr. Olsen?”

Kara felt anxious about James’ presence near them, near Lena. She left the room with her gut pounding. But her mind quickly left James, once he could never have Lena and turned to a more important subject ‘What could Lex want with Lena now?” She needed to know more. She needed to be able to help Lena if she needed.

Lena, she was sort of dating Lena. Her heart accelerated and danced on her chest, butterflies sprung within her and her smile widened. Lena and her. Lena. Lena Luthor. A teacher. ‘Oh my God!” she thought. Everything in her vibrated. Now she would be able to kiss her freely. Now she could kiss her hello and goodbye, so long they were alone and careful, but now she could do that! And she could sit and touch her knees to Lena’s, have her hand feel her soft peachy skin. She would be able to interrupt her at her work if she so desired to be kissed or to be close to her. Oh, what a sea of possibilities now.

She had to sit down. She had reached the locker-room of the gymnasium and she needed to sit down and breathe.

She could email her and call her. ‘Would that be appropriate?’ she thought and another thousand racing thoughts competed for the spotlight. ‘I can do these things, right? I’m allowed to kiss her when I want to. To hold her when I want to. I’m allowed to know her better and deeper now. I am, aren’t I? What on Earth am I doing? What on actual Earth am I getting myself into? I don’t know anything. Oh, my God!’

Panic. She was starting to feel the panic rise in her. ‘I can call her, she said I could. I can text her…’

She bit her lip, brushed her blonde scalp with a hand and retrieved her phone from her pocket. She dialled the numbers she had memorized not long ago but quickly reached for  
the little note Lena had given her just to be sure. The number was correct…

She took a moment and simply breathed and looked. A flickering little thin line appeared and disappeared from just the beginning of her text box. Lena’s number as the addressee…

‘I hope I can go grab that article soon…?’ 

The younger woman deleted and rewrote the same phrase 4 times. She was ecstatic. She jumped to her feet and put on her basket outfit and sprinted out the door, bringing her phone with her and leaving it on the benches.

As soon as she grabbed a ball her phone sang and called her back. She ran to it and unlocked it with one trembling finger.

‘Tomorrow 6 PM 😉’

She locked the phone and got back to the practice. Never had she played so well like she did that evening.

The next day at 6 pm Kara sprinted to meet Lena. After knocking and hearing Lena’s ‘Come in’, she quickly made her way around the secretary, dropping her bag on the floor, and met her lips to Lena’s. Lena turned her wheeled chair to better meet Kara and allowed the other woman to push her against it. Her fair hand stroked Kara’s face and neck, sliding down to her shoulder and she stopped her, harvesting little whims from Kara’s throat, soft and feminine whims of need.

“Hi.” Said Lena, her tone seductive.

“Hi…” Kara answered, her voice weak. “Let me kiss you.” And she flung herself forward again, kissing Lena once more, this time deeper.

“Ah ah ah” intervened Lena. Pushing Kara away from her. “Not here. Not yet.” 

Kara let a little cry leave her mouth and leaned against the table.

“What if we go to dine? Today?” She invited.

“Hmm. Maybe…” Lena pretended to ponder, turning back to her laptop.

“There’s a new sushi place near here.”

“No.” Lena turned and stood up. “Not near.” She grabbed her coat and called Kara with a tempting index finger. “I know a place. Come on.” And they started walking towards the door, but Lena stopped abruptly. “Wait. The article!”

Kara was confused. “Wait, you’re actually really gonna give me an article?” 

Lena turned her head to face Kara and perked one eyebrow with a slick smile on her lips. “Are we really doing this on not?”

Kara squinted her eyes smiling and hummed. “Yes, boss.” Which made Lena gasp and chuckle, giving her a sweet nudge as she passed by her and giving her the papers.

They got in Lena’s car in secret, looking everywhere discreetly to be sure they weren’t being seen and they drove off, not worried.

“Soon it’ll be me driving you,” Kara said, half-dreaming. “I want to take you places. Maybe places you have never been to before.”  
Lena’s heart jumped and flickered. She ducked her head for a moment and smiled, saying under her breath “You already are.”

Lena enjoyed driving silently, only a thin and quiet stream of music on so Kara didn’t dare to talk more. She preferred to let Lena have this moment, just like herself, and hope for many more to come.

The younger woman recognized the roads ahead of them, she remembered the way because it was the one she and Lena had taken that night to the beach, but she hadn’t noticed any restaurants near it so she silently enquired where she was going.

When Lena parked, Kara left the car in a sprint to get to Lena’s door and open it from the outside, like a gentleman. 

“Oh, why thank you, dear.” Lena grabbed Kara’s hand.

“You’re welcome, my lady.” And Kara kissed it sweetly, slowly, not breaking eye contact with Lena. “Where are we going?”

“Right here.” Said Lena, pointing to a small little house with only a blackboard menu with few items written in chalk at the door.

Kara frowned slightly. She’d never imagine Lena, magnificent, gigantic Lena would eat at such a small and humble little restaurant.

Lena took Kara’s hand and walked her to the door. She said hello to the people behind the counter and made the number two with her fingers. The old lady with a rag in her apron smiled and bowed to her, obviously happy to see Lena. They must know each other.

“She seems so sweet!” Said Kara, squeezing Lena’s hand. “Do you know her?”

Lena kept walking but slowed her step to meet Kara’s. “She’s an old friend of mine.”

Their table was right beside a big window and opened the small space up, making it appear much larger. They sat in front of each other.

“Wow.” Said Kara, feeling like a baby, a baby who had seen the sky for the first time. “This is beautiful.”

“It’s the best view of the city. Trust me.” They had walked up a flight of stair so they had a marvellous view of the sea, to the rocks and the changing sky. It was already turning orange.

Kara turned to watch Lena and said: “I’ll have to disagree.” Lena understood perfectly what she was saying and she couldn’t help the warm blood tinting her cheeks with a pink shade.

They ordered. Lena ordered for Kara, actually, guessing what the girl could like and as they ate, her guess had been correct.

“Oh god, I could live here.” The younger girl said, covering her mouth with her hand.

“So could I.” 

“Why don’t you?”

“I don’t think I’d ever want to leave the house if I did. I might enter a catatonic state just by the window.”

They laughed and Kara reached for Lena’s hand. Doubting Lena would actually ever stand still, without working. A woman who made her own empire, who changed a whole company by the root and who had such a deep desire to teach could not be stopped by a pretty view.

“Lena, I’d like to invite you to come to see my game at the end of the semester.”

“Your game?” Lena asked, confused and taken by surprise.

“Yes. My basketball team is going to compete at the end of the semester against another university. And I want you there. To see me.”

Kara felt strangely nervous about asking her this. Like it could mean more than it superficially did.

“Of course it is okay if you can’t or, or if you think it’s safer not to.” She stuttered her words.

“Of course I’ll come,” Lena said. “I’m honoured.” And she reached for Kara’s ankle under the table with her delicate foot. “Just let me know when.”

Kara lifted her heavy head and smiled bright, showing a bit of food on her teeth and Lena pointed it out rather playfully which made the younger woman blush intensely, more than the feeling of Lena’s feet had made her blush, and she went back to her old ways of ducking her head down and fixing her glasses, sucking her teeth with the help of her tongue to clean them subtly.

“Lena, can I ask you something?” Kara dared, moments after the laughing had stopped. She moved her food with her fork nervously.

“Of course you can. You can ask me anything.” Answered Lena, curious at the question and surprised by the openness of her answer.

“What did Jess mean yesterday when she said your brother sent for you?” She bit her lip.

“Oh…” Lena averted her eyes to the view. “Nothing important.” She chose to close herself. She bit her tongue.

“Oh, okay.” Kara got the memo and felt slightly uncomfortable for having asked her that, but the worry in her took over and she dared once again. “Are you sure? It seemed pretty important, with your lawyer and all…” She didn’t look at Lena, she just kept playing with her fork looking for somewhere to look, something to do to calm her nerves.

“Yes, I’m sure, Kara.” Her tone was harsh. Defensive even and it scared Kara slightly. She dropped her fork unintentionally which made a loud noise and her hands began to tremble. She retrieved her feet.

“I’m sorry, Lena. I didn’t mean to impose…” She looked at Lena ad then back down again, like a puppy who chewed off its owner’s shoe.

Lena felt terrible. She stopped dead in her seat for a moment simply looking down as well, making every effort not to go back and to not be triggered. Kara wasn’t trying to control her. Kara wasn’t Chad. She wasn’t her mother and not even her brother. Kara was pure, and feeling her purity again helped her break off her silence, her fear.

“No, Kara, I’m sorry.” She reached for Kara’s hand again. “I shouldn’t have answered like that. I didn’t mean to.”

But Kara only answered with “No, it’s okay. It’s totally okay, Lena.”

Only it wasn’t. Not to Lena. She held Kara’s hand dearly and squeezed it a little, pleading for the young woman’s blue eyes to return to hers.

“I’m sorry.”

And Kara gave her a sweet smile in return. 

“My brother wants to see me because he thinks that if he manipulates me well enough he can get me to help him off his sentence.” She confessed.

“Wow, Lena!” Now it was Kara the one squeezing her hand. “But how would you do that? Is that possible? He has so many charges!”  
Lena’s eyes squinted and the corner of her lips turned slightly upwards playfully.

“I know because I googled him…” She admitted, fixing her glasses with embarrassment.

Lena chuckled. “He’s a Luthor. If he wants, if wanted, with my help, he could leave prison walking.”

“But…” She swallowed in dry. “You’re not going to help him, I assume.”

“Yes, obviously.” She let go of Kara’s hand to grab her silverware and continue her meal. “That’s why I don’t want to meet him. I don’t want to give him even a slight chance to try.”

Kara nodded, interested. The reporter in her begging for more details.

“So why is your lawyer involved then, if you’re not going to meet him?”

“He wants me to help him get Lex a bigger sentence, bringing in my mother with him under the buses.” She said, rather uninterested, or pretending not to be at least.

“Oh, that’s… that’s something very… how can I say this…” She pondered, looking out the window. “…ambivalent.”

Lena gasped a slight chuckle. “Tell me about it!”

“But does your mother have anything to do with Lex’s shenanigans?”

“Well, the police reports say no…” She hesitated.

“But…” Tried Kara.

“But I might have some evidence she helped him in some schemes…”

“Oh, wow… That’s a big ball of fire in your hands…” Kara took Lena’s hand in hers again and turned it upwards, showing Lena’s palm and feeling it with her fingers gently. “But why don’t you want to do that? After everything she’s done…. to you… to people…”

Lena bit her lip and looked away from Kara’s ocean eyes into the world’s pink sea of flickering light.

“I’m not sure…” They fell in the silence. “She’s still my mother…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god! I started school and I already have so much work! You guys, I'll do my best to post as often as I possibly can! This is going to be a hell of a ride but I'm also really excited to learn


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! I'm thinking of changing the name of this fic. What do you guys think, should I? If you have any suggestions leave them below! (Gosh that sounded like a youtuber lol)
> 
> I hope you have a great spooky october and those of you who draw, Im looking forward to seeing a lot of supercorp inktober fanart online! If I weren't so busy with school I'd draw them too.

 

Kara went back to her dorm after her dinner with Lena feeling sorrowful for the woman. How awful it must be to be stuck to a mother figure like that. To think that because she put you in a world you must forgive her or ignore every wrong thing she did, each and every ounce of pain she inflicted on you. She couldn’t grasp it. She wanted only to teach Lena she didn’t have to hold on to her mother like that. That it was no good. But what did she know? Yes, her birth mother had passed away early, but she got to know her. She got to know the woman she was, even if only as her mother. She knew her mother had been good, and that’s why she forgave her for passing away. Not right away, but she eventually forgave her, because the light she had in her as she lived carried on after her death. The same with her father. And she got to know another couple that was bound to be kind of her parents too. Eliza and Jeremiah never made her feel like less of a daughter and because of that, she got to know two mothers and two fathers, each incredibly different but with similar light. A light that one must adopt and take in, for better or worse.

But Lillian, Lena’s mother, had no light in her. Lena’s birthmother had left her all the light, she had left it all to Lena. Now she was the only one in that household to hold any light in her and thanks to that she shone 10 times brighter. Kara was thankful that that family’s darkness hadn’t taken over Lena.

No, she could not imagine what it had been like and what it could be like for Lena, poor Lena…

Kara made sure to do her best to see Lena happy. To teach her she could trust again. To show her what love felt like. Throughout the couple of months they spent sneaking around in her office or the broom’s closet, dining at faraway humble restaurants or simply walking hand in hand on the beach, Kara made sure that Lena saw her little gestures.

A small flower hidden within her coat so no one will see, delivered with one or two broken petals and a shy chuckle from her, defeated. Lena liked flowers, Kara had noticed. Every week a new little arrangement sat on her coffee table lighted by the light coming from the window.

“Those are beautiful!” Kara would say. “But a beauty far from yours, of course.”

“Aww, babe… Come here!” Lena had taken the habit of calling Kara 'babe'. She started with darling but that quickly felt overly formal so she switched to 'babe'. And Kara loved it. She loved being Lena’s babe. She wasn’t quite sure what name to use on Lena though. They all seemed so corny and strange.

Lena knew plumerias were a special flower to Kara, “They remind me of my mother” she had once told her, so she, in return to Kara’s small and slightly crushed coat flowers, would have a bouquet be delivered to Kara’s dorm. A single card in it, always with the same signature.

‘Love, L’

Even Alex had become jealous and overwhelmed by the number of flowers that were delivered every other week to her small little dorm.

“Kara! Again?” She would say as she received the arrangement at the door, sighing as she put them down, rolling her eyes at Kara’s gigantic smile and frenetic eyes.

“She’s so romantic!”

“No. She’s extra. This is extra, Kara. I get that she likes you but you literally can barely walk in here!” Alex would say, trying to make her way through to her bed without touching any more flowers. “Plus, Maggie is allergic to pollen. She can’t even get into this room anymore!” Her voice always aggravated and slightly irritated.

“That’s probably for the best!” She’d mock, getting a pillow thrown in her face in return.

“Seriously, though. No more flowers!”

And she’d have to go over to Lena’s office with an excuse of another interview since Jess had become slightly hostile about how often Kara was there, and say: “So, my room is overflowing with flowers!”

And Lena would raise an eyebrow and play with Kara, “Really?”

“You didn’t have to do that.” She’d say, bending over to kiss her in her chair as she now so often did.

“I did.” Lena would answer, and Kara would have to ask against her will:

“You are the loveliest. I don’t deserve you. But I do have to ask you to not send the flowers to the room anymore. Maggie is allergic and Alex is all over me with this.” And so the flowers stopped, but only occasionally, for Lena knew flowers and she knew that an arranged Lilly could do no harm to a sensitive nose.

Lena would teach her about her fields and tell her, very slowly, her stories, and Kara would do the same. They grew close so fast, it seemed like a flash in time and it was, but two months with them seemed years in the knowing.

They studied and worked together as much as possible, always careful not to be suspicious and they spoke of many things except the trial, which seemed to bother Lena greatly, and they would not yet talk about the next stage of the relationship. But Kara had grown increasingly interested in whatever could come next. She’d take advantage of every night Alex would spend out with Maggie or partying to further discover this new interest, this new need she was finding hard to contain but that she was certainly too shy to ever bring up with Lena, at least for now.

So they would instead dine together three to four times a week, even though they longed for each other’s company immensely, and they would continue to speak of all things that could be spoken of.

But one day they were seen dining late at the Karaoke bar by Jess who had made sure she commented with James and some others so the secret was starting to become less and less confidential. She had noticed Kara stopping by often, very often and she’d also noticed how Lena seemed to clear her schedule and then Kara would appear. But her mind never went there. Never connected the dots because she simply could not see Lena as someone who dates, well, women. She still saw lesbians as only the butch kind and neither of them was that, so she thought poor Kara, she must have some problems and Lena must be tutoring her.

But that night she thought she saw them holding hands above the dimly lit table, and of course, she told that to James, who had her heart in his hand. Except she didn’t have his, and she knew that he had an interest in Lena since he would not stop talking about her, although, she noticed, he seemed to forget about this sometimes because he flirted with her, he flirted hard.

“No, baby-girl. That’s impossible.” He would deny

“I’m telling you! I saw them holding hands. Don’t you find that a little weird?” She’d insist.

“Nah, girl, you’re crazy. Maybe Kara has a little crush on her but Lena is absolutely into me. Matter of fact I think Kara is too, slightly.” He’d fix his collar looking at his reflexion everywhere it was.

“James, how can you be so blind?” She had told him this many times before, on their dates, or whatever he called them. “Lena is not into you. She doesn’t like you like that.”

“Listen, Jess. I told you to fucking stop saying that didn’t I?” She let out a little whine. “You’re just jealous because you’re just a tiny, little girl compared to the machine she is.” He didn’t notice that his thick hand grasped around her wrist, holding it hard.

“You’re hurting me, James!” To which he would let her go and give her a smile like nothing had happened.

“I’m sorry, Jess, I didn’t mean to, baby-girl.” She would grab her wrist with her hand and caress it, not knowing exactly how to react. “Come on, let’s go to my dorm. Winn’s not there.”

But that little detail of their hands holding had remained in James’ subconscious. It seemed to bother him, even if he thought nothing was going on. If Lena were to be holding anyone’s hand, it must be his. Not Kara’s. Kara was nothing but a street little thing compared to him, he though. No way.

Kara and Lena continued staying low and doing their best to be as normal as they could so that no one would notice. But Kara was beginning to feel this intense need to share this little bit of happiness at least with Winn. Alex already knew, now she wanted her best friend to know. Sitting at a rock at sundown on the beach, feeling the cold breeze fly through their hair, as they usually did now, Kara made the question.

“Lena?”

“Yes, babe?” Lena turned her eyes to her, a honey colour now, reflecting the sky above her.

“Gosh, I love it when you call me babe.” Kara bit her lip and smiled, inching closer to Lena. She wrapped one arm around her and with the other she caressed her cold hand, hoping that could warm it.

“I know.” Lena said confidently.

“Hmm.” She kissed her forehead. “You know, I never know what to call you.”

Lena pushed away and straightened herself to look at Kara in the eyes. “How so?”

“Like, you call me babe, and you make me melt at the same time FYI, and sometimes you call me dear and darling, and it seems to work because it’s you saying it. But whenever I try to call you those sweet names, which fit you by the way, you deserve all of them,” she paused, trying to think “I don’t know… It’s weird when I try to say it.”

Lena chuckled, finding Kara endearing. “Kar, don’t worry about it. Lena is just fine. Nobody says my name as you do.”

Kara gasped and held Lena closer once again.

“And if indeed you’re supposed to call me by any name, it’ll come to you. Lena is just fine, babe. I like how you say it.”

“Lena…” Kara tasted that word on her lips and wanted Lena to see how sweet it tasted so, with a finger on Lena’s chin, she turned her head to hers and kissed her deeply, romantically, hoping she could share that taste as she knew it.

They parted and contemplated the sun saying goodbye again. Lena feeling as happy as she’s ever felt.

“But Lena,” said Kara “I would like to tell Winn about us if that’s okay with you…” But Lena tensed up, shrieked away from Kara a couple of inches and looked at her, nervous.

“Only if you’re comfortable with it…” Kara made sure to say. But she wasn’t.

“He’s my student… I don’t know how that would play out. I’m afraid it could get out…” She said, tightening Kara’s hand.

Kara felt sad. “You can trust Winn. He’s been my best friend since freshman year in high school. I just want him to be as happy for us as Alex is, or as I am.” She paused and held Lena’s hand to her chest. “I want you to know you can trust them, you can have real friends.”

And how could Lena say no to that? How could she say no to Kara, with her puppy eyes?

“You’re my puppy.” She said, reaching to hug her and caress her cheek. She allowed.

And as soon as she got back she called Winn.

“Hi, Winn! Come to my room right now!!”

And in 5 minutes he was knocking at her door. She opened.

“Helloooo friend! What’s up?” Kara grabbed his hand and pulled him in, drawing a “woop” out of him.

“Winn I have something to tell you!” She stood straight, chin up still holding his hand.

“Okay? Are you okay?” Winn asked, with one eyebrow way higher than the other.

“It’s a secret, you can’t tell anyone. You can’t give any indications that you know of this. ESPECIALLY not to James.”

“Ahhh, I see.” She let go of his hand and he crossed his arms. “Girl’s scouts promise.”

“You weren’t a girl scout…” Kara frowned, creating two confusing lines just above her nose.

“Or was I?” He mocked. “Come on, spit it out!”

“Okay.” She bit her lip and took a deep breath and as she began to tell him she stopped herself. “You really can’t tell anyone.”

“Oh My GOD, Kara! Just tell me you have a thing with Miss Luthor already!” He said, rather loudly.

“Okay! I have a thing with Miss Lu- WAIT A MINUTE!” And Winn started to laugh uncontrollably, he fell on the bed grabbing his belly. “YOU KNEW?” Kara was shocked and her head fuming with confusion. “How on Earth?!”

Winn continued laughing seeing Kara standing like that in front of him.

“Oh come on, I’m a 9th level intellect. You really thought I wouldn’t catch that?”

“What? But we’ve been so careful! How did you know, really?” She started to feel nervous, because if he knew, who else knew?!

“You have, you have. But I know you. And Alex confirmed it to me.” He confessed.

“So it was Alex? Ohh, I am going to draw blood with that one.” She clenched her fists and grunted.

“She just confirmed it. I already suspected. There was one day where you hugged me and you smelt different. Not to be a creep or anything. But I knew I recognized that smell. I had a class with Miss Luthor later and the fragrance was the same. From there I just picked up the pieces.” He pulled her by her hand and sat her next to him on her bed. “Love, L?”

Kara gasped, surprised that he knew that. Her eyes and mouth opened wide.

“Oh come on, it’s not that subtle.” He said, at which she pursed her lips together and frowned.

“Damnit.”

“Now. Tell me all about it.” He asked, turning over to her, open to listen whatever would come out of this.


	35. Chapter 35

Lena’s lawyer kept calling her and sending emails. She kept on turning him down. She was tired of having to deal with her family’s issues. She was completely tired of it. Her father was dead. His brother in jail. Lillian, her mother, was somewhere. She didn’t really know. They haven’t been in contact almost at all since she stood up for herself, after Chad. And now to have them back in her life because of a trial was just too much, she thought. More than she could bear right now.

She was happy. She felt happy. Finally, she felt something that wasn’t the grief of herself. Finally, she found a beacon of light to walk towards. Her students gave her a sense of purpose. She felt happy when she was teaching. But as soon as she left that door she came down from her happy ladder into the Lena she had grown to know and she had learned was her true self. Alcohol and work medicated her for as long as she needed to be medicated for. She’d dive in big projects, investments, investigations, lots of whiskey. All to try to contain herself. If she were working she didn’t have time to be sad over her life. Drinking gave her a sort of comfort. An acceleration of pulse she otherwise had trouble feeling.

She thought she might be depressed or at least have the tendency to, but she didn’t feel depressed, just sort of making it through the days. Helping others, teaching, science, and technology still gave her these warm feeling and she still longed for them.

But now she really did feel happy. Who knew such craziness would actually make her happy. Kara had become that beacon of hope, of light to her so quickly. She had fallen so quickly. Being with her made her heart jump. She felt understood as if she belonged to someone finally. Like someone actually saw her for who she was. Someone who ignored her last name and treated her like an equal. No dishonesty, no betrayals, no lies.

Lena found in Kara everything she thought she needed, for as weird and inappropriate it might be, Kara was worth it. Lena was completely in for whatever could come as long as at the end of the day she could text her girlfriend “Goodnight, babe.”.

But the weight of the trial was beginning to weigh her down too much and she was starting to get visibly stressed by it. Kara noticed this.

“Lee, what’s wrong? You seem like you have something in your head. You’re not here…” Kara had aced her play, she had aimed perfectly and hit the tiny white ball with her putter. The ball entered the far hole in the ground and Kara cheered, turning back to look at her girlfriend, but Lena faced the ground, seemingly evaluating the beginning of the lane.

Hearing her girlfriend call for her, feeling blue oceans on her, she faced Kara and frowned.

“I’m sorry babe. I missed it. Can you do it again?” She tried to smile and extended her hand to Kara so the blonde would come to her.

“I’m starting to worry, Lee.” A crease appeared between Kara’s brows. “Do you not like mini-golf?” She pouted.

Lena laughed and reached over to hug Kara and they swung themselves from one foot to the other. Kara hugged Lena back weakly so Lena created some space between them and kissed her fast on the lips so no one would see.

“I’m sorry babe. It’s just, this trial thing.”

“Oh, Lena! I didn’t know it worried you still. Come here.” And she pulled her back close to her, inhaling the sweet perfume or freshly washed hair. She lead them to the bench near the lanes and they sat. “Talk to me about it. That’s what I’m here for.” Lena smiled and kissed her cheek.

Kara mocked her a little to try to ease her spirit “And also to completely shatter you at mini-golf.” Lena made an offensive expression with her mouth open and her eyes squinted as if she were saying ‘Oh really?’ like she so many times seemed to say to Kara. “Seriously. It’s embarrassing.”

Kara’s chin remained up and proud but she was containing a smile, her cheeks hurt from the strength she was putting into not letting that smile free. Lena’s left eyebrow was high, creating little lines above it which Kara loved, so she looked back down, knowing by heart Lena’s expressions by now. Nearly three months seemed lives between them somehow.

“It’s just that I’ve spent all these years trying to be as away from them as possible, trying to get back on my feet alone. Reinvented. Better…” She paused, looking over at the sports park, mini-golf, tennis, soccer, track and all those families and kids running around, cheering to the sound of their goals with their bennies and puffy coats on, as their hands froze but their hearts warmed. “I’ve been trying to be away from them and the memories that come with them and now I am basically being forced to testify something from 5 years ago.”

Kara listened closely, never averting her eyes from this woman she knew she loved, this woman that was pure light, pure love to her. She held Lena’s hand and put it on her coat pocket, holding it tight. Lena smiled at the small gesture.

“I’m not even sure if I should indeed testify against Lex and my mother or not.”

“Why not?” Kara fixed her glasses with her other hand.

Lena leaned away from the bench, holding herself in place with one of her elbows on her knee, her thick black coat serving as a warm blanket below her jeans.

Lena in jeans was a whole other thing. This was the first time Kara had seen her in jeans and it was completely breath-taking. She might have even blushed when she met her outside the university.

“Partially because I don’t want to have my name associated with them any more than it already is. It would be on the news, on the papers, all over campus. I don’t want it to affect my business in any way either…”

“But Lena, you’d be going against them! You’d be proving once again you are not like them. Not that you need to prove anything to anyone, but you’d be standing your ground once again…”

“You’re right. But I stood my ground. I hate that I’d have to be doing it again.” She leaned back again, looking at Kara who seemed to avert her eyes to think.

“Would your word be decisive?” She asked

“In locking my mother away and my brother for good?”

Kara simply remained looking at her.

“Yes.” Answered Lena, rolling her eyes slightly, raising that eyebrow again.

“And is that something you want to see done? Do you want to have a part in that?” Kara’s understanding blue-eyes pierced her like needles but in a good sort of way.

“I’m starting to think I don’t have a choice… If it’s not me… I don’t think they have a case… I think they can just walk…” Lena looked at the floor, suddenly the remains of fallen leaves felt comforting. Their cycle is coming to an end… And so should this. “But…”

“Yes, Lee?”

Lena’s eyes started playing tricks on her and she felt a sting, and her throat seemed to want to close up on her.

“It’s strange…” her voice quivered “It’s almost like I’m losing them again…” She was surprised by the words that left her mouth. She was not expecting this. She had never consciously thought of any of this.

‘What the fuck?’ She thought in a flash and she bit her tongue and tried to swallow her words. But Kara scooted over closer to her and held her tight, one arm behind Lena’s hand, the other still in her pocket holding the older woman’s other hand in place, much warmer now. And something in her tumbled down. The walls and foundation she had built over this subject just seemed to have come down, and this once, she let them fall.

“I don’t know…” Her voice barely noticeably, weakened by this sudden grief, or was it fear? “Loss does strange things to my family and I have lost a lot of people.” She picked up her timber and her voice was now clean and sharp, cold even.

But Kara felt a punch in the stomach and pulled away from Lena to look her in her light green eyes to pass a stronger message than her words could possibly ever pass alone.

“Well, you’re not gonna lose me!” She said while shaking her head. But Lena’s eyes began to water slightly, and her voice weakened again. She looked terrified.

“I think when I feel thing again, I..” Her voice broke and she held it there for a second, trying to find the strength in her to finish her sentence, however scary it might be to her or to Kara. Her lips trembled and her eyebrows followed suit, threatening. She barely moved her lips as she said: “I’m gonna be very, very afraid… About the person I might be..”

Kara hated the world at that moment for being so cruel on Lena, this kind-hearted, beautiful soul. She came closer to her to the position she had been and held her tight, allowing Lena to lean her head on her shoulder, feeling the warmth coming from the younger woman’s skin.

“You don’t have to be afraid.” Kara looked at Lena once again and Lena grabbed her hand tighter inside the warm, furry pocket. “I’m right here.” Her voice began to break too. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

Lena shed a tear, feeling the cold breeze against its’ print on her cheek. “Promise?” She smiled, small but meaningful.

“I will always be here. And I will always protect you.” And Kara kissed her forehead twice, lingering there with her eyes closed shut and a frown on her forehead. “I promise.”

Lena looked for Kara’s lips, elevating her head and she met them with ease. Kara’s hand left her pocket and reached Lena’s cheek, purposefully drying the tear Lena had shed. Right now they couldn’t care less about the people watching.

“I’ll testify.” Said Lena, after they broke their kiss. “I’ll call Hugo, my lawyer, as soon as I get home.”

“Yes! Good Lena!” Kara congratulated her. “You’ll finally be able to put an end to this at last.”

Lena chuckled. “You’re right.” She buried her forehead on Kara’s neck again. Her perfume was sweet. “When did you get to be so smart?”

“Haha.” Kara mocked and sniffed a little. She too had let a tear fall. “Very funny. I’ve always been smart. You’ve just started looking now.”

Lena pulled away from Kara, again with the seductive eyebrow aiming for the sky, a sly smile on. “Baby, I’ve been looking for longer than you know.” She got up and teased the younger woman with her plastic golf club, touching it to her knee, making it’s way to Kara’s inner thigh, which made her blush violently, of course. She stood up with a jump, bowed down and fixed her glasses, hoping her cheeks would calm down.

Lena turned away and returned to the golf Lane, putting one of the balls she had in her pocket down. She aimed and took her shot. She missed by an inch.

“Close enough.” She let out.

“Speaking of close…” Kara began, shyly. “You said you lived close to the university.” She returned to the lane, following Lena and swinging her club to take her shot as well.

“I do, indeed.”

“How come you’ve never invited me over?” She aced that shot again and this time it was her elevating her eyebrow. “Any skeletons in the closed I should know about?” That made Lena laugh.

“No, no skeletons. I’m a Luthor, but not that ruthless.” And she winked.

“Hohoho,” She laughed, liking being teased like this. Feeling butterflies in her belly and a tingly feeling in her core. “I think you are ruthless indeed.” She squinted her eyes.

“Perhaps,” She played. “But only because it is saved for a special occasion.” Lena ran away from Kara slowly, making her way to the hole to grab the balls and move on to the next red lane.

Kara hummed, seeing Lena’s tiny little jumps between each step. She bit her lip.

‘A special occasion, she says…’ She wondered what could possibly be more special than mini-golf with someone you loved.

They continued playing and mocking each other between happy celebration hugs when Lena finally got the ball close enough to the hole, sneaky little scares or kisses, it depended, Lena used to distract Kara when she was taking her shots and silly fights as if their golf equipment were swords or lightsabers.

“Lee…”

“Yes, babe.” She was focused on her posture, swinging her arms, her coat around her perfectly opened and bend legs.

Kara took a while to answer, her attention was completely in Lena’s movements and the definition of her body she could not read right now, because of that darn black coat.

She shook her head. “When’s the trial?”

Lena stopped her swing practice and stood up straight, swinging her bat over her shoulder.

“If I’m not mistaken. Which I don’t believe I am, it is marked for… hmm… For the 11th next month.”

Kara let out a big “Oh. That’s unfortunate…”

“Why?” Lena enquired, finding this strange.

“It’s nothing. Not important. It’s just that my game is on that day too.” She looked down and fixed her glasses along with a strand of hair that had come loose from behind her ear.

“Oh… That is unfortunate…” She pursed her lips to the side and thought. “Don’t worry. I’m sure we’ll be able to work that out. We always do.” She winked and returned back to her swinging. But Kara couldn’t help feel this little hint of sadness and egoism. She wanted Lena to testify, of course. But a part of her wanted her to see her play, like, a lot.

“Oh my gosh, I did it!” Lena screamed, exhilarated. “I can’t believe I actually did it!”.

Damnit. Kara didn’t catch it, but still, she celebrated.

Lena started dancing an uncoordinated (but super cute) victory dance.

“I win! I win!” Sang Lena. Kara couldn’t help laughing

“Good job, baby!” And they both stopped. Kara’s eyes widened and her hand had the urge to cover her lips.

Lena looked at her and duck her head a little to the side and just smiled. She’s never been called baby.


End file.
